Monday, May 30, 2005

Uphill & Over The Hill

Jesse loves Genting

Genting turned out to be a fairly enjoyable trip for us. While Mae and I are really just doing this for the boy, our vacation turned out to be a nice little eye-opener for Roma too! :)

Awana turned out to be a little crappy. It's old and dilapidated. There's no aircond presumably because it gets pretty cold there. But the problem is, it's no longer really cold in ,Gentings. Back in the 70s, you'd freeze your buns off if you didn't put on thick sweater. These days, you can practically walk around in shorts and t-shirts. *sigh*

Also, the place must have the oldest water-heaters in the entire country. It takes 30 minutes for your shower to warm up. To make matters worse, they ripped up all the jacuzzis from the rooms, which got Mae flipping mad. You'd think with all the money the place is making, the least they could have done is give you better rooms. No such luck.

Day two was better. We went up to the theme park. There we got all-day passes for both the indoor and outdoor parks for Mae, Roma and I and we just went for ride after rides; which was a strange experience for me. You see, back in my youth I'd stay away from the train rides, the ferris wheel and those suspended gondola rides. It felt kinda nerdy and I certainly didn't wanna associate myself with such nerdy activities. But then fatherhood hits you and you find that it's okay to be a nerd for the sake of your kid. Hehheh! And so we rode. And Jesse loved every bit of it.

Roma too had her fun. She had gotten on the indoor roller-coaster with Mae and had her first taste of death-defiance. And so whenever we took breaks, we encouraged her to explore. She ended up on the Corkscrew roller coaster and even the Spaceshot, while Mae and I stayed on level ground. Back in her youth, Mae would go all out and take all the scariest rides. These days, she's just contented being a spectator. You see, Mae has lost her nerve. As for me, I never did lose my nerve since I never had any to begin with. I'm chickenshit when it comes to heights. *sigh*

I doubt if Jesse really understood what the whole thing was all about. But he looked like he enjoyed it anyway, chattering away, smiling and laughing at every little thing. He loved being suspended hundreds of feet above the ground. He loved wearing a hood over his little head. He even loved wearing mittens again. And that makes the trip all the more worthwhile.

As for Mae and I, all that will make this vacation perfect is another one to recover from this one. Them old rickety bones just don't take punishment like they used to!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Going Uphill

It's 10:00am. In a few short moments we're going to Genting Highlands. We decided to take a short holiday, probably our last for the year since Mae expects to be bogged down by work after June. So, expect no update for the next couple of days.

So why are we going to Genting Highlands anyway? Mae and I (more Mae than I) decided it might be a great experience for Jesse. He'll be in a colder climate for the first time and might enjoy the experience. The kid hates it when it's hot. Another reason we're going is also because we recently bought Jesse a cute little sweater with a hood and he's had not chance to wear it up till now. Heh! I suspect this is the real reason!!!

When we got the little sweater, Mae said, "Let's go somewhere where he can wear this." Mothers. They have all kinds of strange logic. In any case, I could use a break anyway.

Elsewhere, across the globe, America has just voted their idol. And we sat right through it since 8am. Ugh!

Let's just say, I'm glad we're going on vacation.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

We're Teething!!!

Woohooo! We've got teeth. Well, almost. Jesse's lower right central incisor is showing a little. I expect it'll be out anytime soon. Meantime, he's biting stuff like crazy. But then again, he was biting stuff almost 3 months back.

We've been told that some kids get a fever, and generally feel shitty all over when they cut their first tooth. Hopefully, Jesse will be okay.

For some reason, this is a big deal to me. My son will soon have teeth, and I'm excited. Though I don't know why. Cos the next time he bites me, it's gonna hurt. Even now when he clamps his gums down on our fingers, and occasionally our toes, we do feel the pain a little. Just imagine the damage he'll do with teeth. Heh!

Oh yeah, if you're disturbed by the image of Jesse biting on our toes, please allow me to reiterate that we NEVER intentionally stick our feet in the boy's mouth. But he is a resourceful little fella, and bites when you least expect it. :)

Looks like we'll have to watch our toes now.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005


channel surfing

Jesse loves the controller. Any controller. TV, DVD, air-cond, fan - you name it, he'll like it. This must be a guy thing. So much so, we always carry our spare DVD controller with us everywhere we go.

Before you think we're too stingy to buy toys for our kid, let me just assure you that Jesse is perfectly happy with the controller. In fact, he loves playing with anything he's not supposed to.

He loves turning the volume knob on the stereo. He loves pulling at, and biting telephone cables and electrical wiring. He loves climbing up onto, and probably even into, our trash can. He loves digging out the keys from my iBook. He loves biting on my car keys. He enjoys biting and pulling at dirty laundry. He loves paper - biting and stuffing it into his mouth every chance he gets. He also likes our mobile phones, especially so when it's in his mouth.

What gives? Are kids like that or is Jesse just plain weird?

We give him toys but he's never interested. And so we resort to bringing our DVD controller out. Thankfully, these days he's also entertained by plastic spoons and paper napkins.

We wasted a lot of money on toys. To date, we would have spent close to a few hundred bucks on toys. In retrospect, we could have just forked out RM 50 for a stack of paper napkins and a bag of disposable spoons. *sigh* Kids are dumb. Heh!

Think of all the money we could have saved. It's too late for us now. But if you're a parent-to-be, don't say we didn't warn you. :)

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Regarding Roma

Roma is 23 years old, although her passport and the employment agency disagrees. Anyway, she's 23 and has a 2-year old little girl named Yunita.

Talking to her, Mae discovers that Roma is here in Malaysia and working in our household so that her little girl can have an education some day. And she's here, thousands of miles away from home, away from family and friends and away from little Yunita, just so she can build a better life for her daughter. It broke our hearts over and over, every time we think of this.

Which is why we treat Roma with the respect she deserves. She eats with us at the same table - none of that "maids eat in the kitchen" nonsense. We buy her toiletries of her choice. And we make sure she has enough to eat, and enough to wear. And we always make sure she has adequate rest. We let her watch the TV, or read a book if she so desires.

Cynics tell us that if we treat our domestic help too well, they'd take advantage of our kindness and climb all over our heads. But that is a risk Mae and I are prepared to take. When she leaves us one day upon expiry of her contract, we'd like her to remember the experience. The experience that she, a stranger in a strange land, came into a Malaysian Chinese Christian home and became one of us.

Because, ultimately, Roma is one of us. A parent doing the best she can, so that her kid can have the best.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Striptease (18SX)

Thursday night is Animals' Night Out. The boys and I usually hang out at our favourite little pub, a quiet place where drinks are cheap, customers are few and we get the pool table and karaoke mikes pretty much to ourselves all night long.

Last Thursday the place was different. "We've got a show on tonight," our waitress tells us as she gestured towards two nubile young women mingling in a crowd of dirty old men and horny young lads.

Halfway through our beer, the lights went down and music up. Then, the lights at the bar flashed on revealing the two young ladies sprawled across the bar counter wearing matching bikinis, high heels and elbow length gloves. Yes, it was that kind of show. And so, the girls proceeded to gyrate their pelvises, and sway their taut, young bodies in moves that would make Christina Aguilera blush. Heh! Suddenly, some revellers came up to the bar and splashed water on the girls. And all hell broke loose.

The girls, armed with large Coca-Cola bottles, filled with water went round the pub splashing water on the patrons. And the patrons retaliated amidst squeals of laughter and giggles. And it's never a pretty sight when grown men giggle. And then things got even more interesting. A strapping young lad at the next table, gestured to one of the girls. And when she got there, they began what looked like a fertility ritual - gyrating, almost grinding at each other, their groins almost touching. And then his friend came, unbuttoned his pants and signaled the girl to continue the act. She obliged.

Laughing, she had pulled his jeans down to his ankles. I noticed the young man was wearing brand new Renoma briefs. Apparently, the silly arse had come prepared for such an eventuality. He had decided he might get lucky. And tonight he would. So there he was, his face convoluted in ecstacy, his shirt off and his pants at his ankles, swaying in his best sexy-man... erm... sway. Perhaps hoping that his sexy moves would lead him somewhere with the girl. Instead the girl upped and went on to other ventures. And Dumbass continued to revel in the moment, his eyes shut, his mouth open looking every bit the Dumbass that he was.

2 bikini girls. 5 minutes of dancing. A whole lot of horsing around and a whole lot of water. Nobody got naked, save for a few dirty old men and one horny young punk. And nobody got lucky. At one point, men were throwing water at each other and feeling really entertained about it. And yet, I suspect the pub did its best business that night.

Men are easy. Hehhheh!

Disclaimer: Neither I nor my friends were caught in any splashing. Nor were any of our clothing or apparel removed from our bodies, either by ourselves or anyone, at anytime. And no, we did not engage/touch/drool at/grope andbody, male or female. Hehh!

Monday, May 16, 2005

Killer Pokarri (Spicy Bakuteh)

stewed to perfection

It's been awhile since I did a food review, so here's one. And in case you're wondering, my weight-loss is just fine, thank you very much. :) Actually, Mae and I had this a couple of weeks back together with my sis and her hubby when we stayed at the Ascott.

Ba Kut Teh Liang Kee is a family-runned Bakuteh shop in downtown KL. You'll agree when you see them since the brothers that manage the place are carbon copies of each other. Anyway, aside from it's regular fare of Bakuteh, this shop's signature dish is its famous Pokarri.

If you don't know what a Pokkari is, don't be too hard on yourself. Not too many people are acquainted with this heavenly dish. However, the ones who have usually end up developing a lifelong affair with the dish. Some of these affairs are illicit, when grown men sneak out of the house to enjoy this sinful dish behind their wives backs. Yes, it's true. Many a good wife will disapprove of this delicious dish because prolonged exposure to Pokarri will definitely give you clogged arteries and cardiac arrest.

Pokarri is not unlike Bakuteh. It is a dish of braised pork ribs in herbal stew. However, while Bakuteh is tame and suitable for the whole family, Pokkari is ultra-hot and spicy. Stewed with dried chillis and garlic, Pokarri is the man-sized version of the sissy Bakuteh. At Liang Kee, you'll find choice cuts of Pork broiled in a thick, hot, brown stew. This shop serves the dish with its delicious Oil-Rice, which is white rice tossed in fried shallots. You can also order the standard side dishes you get with Bakuteh - the YauCharKuey, string mushrooms and TauFuPok.

Ba Kut Teh Liang Kee operates from 6pm to the wee hours of the morning. The place is a favourite of revellers and party animals who eat here after a night at the club. Situated right after Plaza Hotel and Wisma Cyclecarri on Jalan Raja Laut, this place has gotten its share of fame. One, the place serves up, a killer Pokarri. Two, the place once served a killer, Pokarri. Heh!

The notorious (and now expired) criminal of our time, Bentong Kali shot a man here. In fact it was the incident here at Liang Kee that sparked off a nationwide manhunt for the guy. So if you're a regular patron of Ba Kut Teh Liang Kee and wondered why the brothers look kinda stoned, now you know. The psychological effect of having some guy get shot in your shop is liable to take a toll on you.

Thankfully, however, it didn't diminish their skill at making one of the finest Pokarri on the planet.

Note: You can also find Pokkari at Mungo Jerry in SS2, PJ and that famous Bakuteh place along Jalan Kepong. But if you want the best, this is the place.

Friday, May 13, 2005

The Dark Side Beckons

do you feel lucky, Jedi punk?

My cousins are going crazy. We've always been a Star Wars family. Despite the shitty outcome of Episodes I & II, we're all pumped for the grand finale. So much so, they're getting lightsabers. Yes kiddies, the lightsaber you see here is the real deal - well, close to the real deal anyway. It's a Master Replica Force FX Lightsaber.
  • Glowing blades ignites with realistic power-up/down effects!
  • Authentic sound effects digitally recorded from the movie.
  • Features four motion sensor controlled sound effects, Power-up, idle hum, clash, and power-down
  • Durable metal hilt looks and feels like a real lightsaber.
  • Sturdy blade is permanently attached to the hilt
  • Comes with a custom-designed display stand when you need a break from dueling.
So anyway, Dean and Ming are getting one each. And my brother-in-law, AhFook is thinking one getting one too. Problem is, this sweet items is retailing for RM650 a pop at Ultimate Toys in 1U. It's a lot of money. And ultimately, it's just a toy. "I want you to have it," says the most wonderful wife on the planet. How can you not love this woman? Wives are known to beat up husbands for buying frivolous things. "Really? I don't know..." I was awestruck. "And by the time we're done with it, we can leave it to Jesse, as an inheritance." The clever woman's always had a way with words. But notice she said, "We". Something tells me that if we do get it, Mae will be fooling around with it more than I will. It's the Dark Side. It's got her. Hhhehehheh! I'm still contemplating. In other Star Wars related news, Messy Christian (who's seen it, I hate her) thinks Episode III rocked. Elsewhere, Dean, Ming, my brother Jeff and a whole bunch of my friends have gotten their tickets already. On the homefront, Mae wants us to sit down and watch that painful Episode II all over again since we both slept through it the last time. Yup, we're preparing for the finale. Muahahahahah!!! Note: Picture from Walmart. More pictures at ThinkGeek.

I Got Tagged

I got tagged by Rachel of Life Being Beautiful. So here goes:
What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

Here's that list:
If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician... If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect... If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper... If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer... If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper... If I could be a proctologist...
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge... If I could be a Jedi... If I could be a mob boss...
If I could be a backup singer... If I could be a CEO...
If I could be a movie reviewer... If I could be a monkey’s uncle...
If I could be a bible archaeologist... If I could be an Elvis impersonator...
If I could be a scientist, I'd dedicate my life to creating the perfect slimming pill.

If I could be a backup dancer, I'd steal the show every now and then with some funky moves. Hehheh. You just know this is a secret wish of mine, duncha?

If I could be a Jedi, funny I could talk and cool I still be.

If I could be a backup singer, I'd steal the show every now and then. Does anyone see a pattern here?

If I could be a mob boss, I'd break the kneecaps of people who tick me off. Huahahahah!

I'm tagging Gwen, Anjali & Gina.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Look Who's Communicating

Jesse seems to be getting the hang of articulating his needs and wants. His communication skill are more refined now.

Lately, he's been waking me up in the mornings. He'd grunt his little, "Uhhn!" to signal me to get out of bed and take him out into the living room where his toys are. This morning he did it again. And so I take him out into the living room, dump myself on the sofa, switch on the idiot-box while he entertains himself with his toys on the floor.

Suddenly he stands up before me, supporting himself on my knees. His eyes fixes upon mine with a sweet, loving gaze as he opens his mouth to speak his first real words.


"No, no, no,"
I correct him, "It's Daddy!"

"Mum-mum!" he asserts. And for effect, he hits my thigh as he says the words.

"I'm Daddy," I explained. "Mommy's the sack of potatoes still in bed at 8am!" Okay, okay, I didn't tell him that, I promise. Hehheh! But I did correct him. After all, most kids say "Da-da" first. I deserve to have my kid call me first, just like how every kid on the planet says, "Da-da" first.

"MUM-MUM!" the poor kid snapped and started wailing like a child in a torture chamber. That's when I realised he wasn't addressing me. He was merely commanding me to prepare his feed. "Mum-mum, as in 'I wanna eat', you idiot!" he must have been thinking.

I guess food comes first. *sigh* That's my boy, alright. But still, it's pretty amazing to have heard him say his first actual words. :)

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

A New Addition to the Family

No, we're not having another kid. At least not yet. Mae promises to kill me if I even try to pull (or plug, *ahem*) a fast one. So, no. But our Indonesian maid has finally arrived. Last Friday, the Agency calls Mae. "Your maid is already here in Malaysia," the lady on the other end of the line said. "We'll send her over on Monday."

And for some strange reason, Mae and I were mortified. It was a mixed nuts of reactions. Intrigue. Worry. Enthusiasm. Relief. Fear. What if she turned out to be a lazy bone? What if she was one of those evil, employer-murdering, psychotics? What if Jesse never gets accustomed to her? What if she turned out to be one of those sexy, husband-grabbing seductress? That would be terrible. *ahem*. Terrible!

We were nervous wrecks by Saturday. As therapy, we decided to springclean our home to welcome our new addition. I know how weird this sounds; springcleaning a home to welcome someone who'd eventually do the springcleaning, but Mae and I have always been a little weird. :)

Anyway, Monday comes and so did Roma. And since I'm alive and blogging this, you can rest assured that she is pretty well-adjusted. Jesse had a little problem with her the first two days. He was very clingy unto Mae and I - despite the fact that we did our best to slowly get him accustomed to her. Mae thinks he may be jealous that there's someone new sharing his home now. Me, I'm just thinking of what to do with all that extra time now that I no longer have to wash bottles and clean house. Hehheh!

On the downside, Mae and I can no longer parade around the house in the buff.

Monday, May 9, 2005

A Mothers' Day Story

I remember, as a kid, my Mom used to get invited to weddings a lot. At least that's the way it seemed. Anyway, if you've ever attended a Chinese Wedding Dinner, you'll know that it's quite a grand culinary affair - a sumptuous 8-course dinner. You'll also know that every one such dinner starts off with a delicious starter called "The 4 Seasons" which features a 4 delightful little dishes in one presentation.

Mom always used to pick out her share of either a Meatball or a Spring Roll. She'd then wrap it nicely in a paper napkin and stuff it in her handbag. And when she came home later that night, her doe-eyed little boy would greet that neat little "package" with so much enchantment you'd think he'd found a diamond of something.

Yeah, I was a dumb kid. :) But I got even dumber as I grew up.

In my early teens, I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed that Mom took-away food from a wedding dinner. I mean, this is the kind of faux pas for which the etiquette police would arrest you and throw you in jail. The kind of thing they'd do at a wedding in the village. At an age when I had learnt the tenets of social graces (that, and pretentious words like "etiquette" and "faux pas"), I was no longer enamoured by a Springroll in Mom's purse.

It's taken awhile, but I finally get it.

Yesterday, the aftertaste of all those Meatballs and Springrolls I had eaten as a kid came back to me. It's so clear. Mothers are exempt from the silly inconveniences of etiquette. Mothers are allowed to bend the rules a little, when it comes to their kids. Only because love will make you do the silliest things. Silly things, like stuffing a Meatball in your purse. Silly things that Mom did for me. And silly things that Mae does for Jesse.

So, to Mom, to Mae and to all you mothers out there, Happy Mothers' Day. I know I'm a little late on this one and it probably sounds silly to be posting this after the fact, but you know what they say - Love makes you do the silliest things. ;)

Friday, May 6, 2005

Holiday At Home

taking in the sights

Last Saturday, my brother-in-law Andrew called. "You sister and I are staying at the Ascott downtown for the night," he explained. "Wanna come? I'm buying" he enticed. We didn't need any further encouragement.

Apparently, the guys had planned on a holiday but since it was the Labour Day weekend, most hotels anywhere were fully booked. And so the ever-resourceful Andrew suggested a local holiday. And since they had their 2-year-old, Joshua with them, we brought Jesse along. And it was to be an eye-opener for the little guy.

He had a ball, crawling all over, exploring his new surroundings. It must have been a wonderful experience for him since he was laughing and squealing away, his mouth gaping wide in wonderment. He couldn't take his eyes off the Ascott's tasteful decor. He crawled and rolled around the Ascott's plus carpeting - which is a far cry from Mommy's... erm... economical carpeting at the office. And he absolutely loved looking at the city from the Ascott's full height windows.

"Our poor boy is so... erm... Suakoo," Mae pointed out, using the Hokkien noun specially reserved for country bumpkins or village boys. "We really ought to take him out a little more." And perhaps we'll need to, seeing as to how he's begun to really appreciate new surroundings.

As for our one-day mini-holiday, it was surprisingly refreshing. Our itinerary was simple. Shopping at KLCC in the afternoon. Dinner at Petaling Street where we ate the best Siew Yoke Mein on the planet. I will blog about this since I really stuffed my face that day, taking a holiday from my diet too! *ahaks* We even had a Dim Sum breakfast the next morning. Our only regret was the bad jam that caused us to forgo our DVD-shopping excursion at Sg Wang.

We had a pretty good time. So if you ever wanted a break and didn't know where to go, just check into a nearby hotel and go with the flow. :)

Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Five Down

I lost 5 kgs! Hurhurhurhur!!!! This must be the biggest block of deadweight I've ever lost.

Last night at my in-laws, Mae's grandma took a look and me and enquired, "You've lost weight haven't you?" Gasp! Finally, a confirmation that my trips to the gym and my tragic menu has finally paid off. "Yes, you definitely lost weight!" She was convinced.

I had been 86kgs for the last few months. This is the heaviest I have ever been in all my life. And to think that I was just a mere 55kgs back in secondary school. It's my fault really. I eat every meal like my last. I also eat when I'm happy. So it's happy happy eat eat, as you can imagine.

Before I met Mae I was lonely and sad. I was also thin and handsome. *ahem* Then Mae came along and I stuffed my face. And then Jesse came along and I stuffed my face somemore. So I guess I owe my... erm... rubinesque figure to Mae and Jesse. Yeah, Mae and Jesse suck. Hehheh!

I lost 5 kgs! I think I'll celebrate with a big-ass feast.

Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Recipe: Cheater's Chicken Rice


I'm a Hainanese. I eat chicken rice and love every bit of it. It's a thing we do. So as you can imagine, being on a diet and all, Hainanese Chicken Rice is definitely a no-no for the next three months. And so, I decided to improvise.

Now Mae and I have made chicken rice on one previous attempt. Since we're pretty lazy people, we cheated a little - hence the name of the recipe. Purists will balk at our chicken rice. Also, I run the risk of being excommunicated from an angry clan of chicken-rice loving Hainanese folk. But what the heck, gluttony is the mother of quick and easy recipes. So here goes:
2 large chicken thigh
1 cucumber, sliced (for garnishing)

THE RICE (Serves 2)
1.5 cup of rice
1.5 big garlic
1 stump of ginger (can I say stump?)
2 pandan leaves (if you have any)
1.5 tbsp Maggi Chicken Stock
1.5 tbsp Butter (x3 if you're not dieting)

1 tbsp Maggi Chicken Stock
3 tbsp oyster sauce
0.5 cup water
2 tsp starch flour
2 tsp brown sugar

0.5 cup oil fried with a few cloves of chopped garlic.

3 red chillies
4 cloves of garlic
0.25 cups of vinegar
0.25 cups of water
Oil is fattening. There's no doubt about that. But to have steamed chicken rice without any oil is just wrong. Besides, we only live once. So there! :) Okay, on with the show. In 10 easy-peasy steps:

1. Defrost chicken. Put in a deep dish. Steam it. You can use a steamer or just any plain old wok. As you steam your chicken, the fragrant vapour of your chicken will condense into a delicious broth onto your dish. DO NOT DISCARD. This is THE FORCE of your chicken rice!!

2. Wash rice and boil rice. You can use a rice cooker. Mae and I use a microwave rice cooker coz we're lazy people. Do as you normally do, except this time, add a little more water since authentic chicken rice should be slightly damp. Throw in your garlic, ginger, pandan leaves, butter and chicken stock. If you run out of ginger or pandan leaves, don't fret. We didn't have any and it still turned out fine.

3. Mix all gravy ingredients in a bowl. Mix well. Heat it in a saucepan or do like we did. Put in the microwave.

4. Fry your garlic oil.

5. By now, your chicken and your rice should be done. Collect the chicken broth from the steam chicken and pour some of that liquid gold (remember THE FORCE?) into your rice. Mix well. Resume warming rice.

6. Still got broth? Mix the rest into your gravy.

7. Put chilli, garlic, water and vinegar into blender. You can throw in a piece of ginger if you like. Add in broth. (Yes, it's everywhere!) Blend the stuff. Then put the chilli mixture in a saucepan and cook it until the "green" taste of raw chilli is gone.

8. Lay your cucumber slices on a plate. Mae and I bought a Japanese Kyuri instead. Same thing. Taste better.

9. Chop up chicken into reasonable-sized chunks. Lay onto cucumber. Pour gravy mix liberally over the chicken. Drizzle garlic oil over this plate.

10. Serve while hot and bask in the genius of your cooking skills.

Here's a little disclaimer for you. In case you think that Cheater's Chicken Rice will taste like the definitive Hainanese Chicken Rice, don't hold your breath. While it isn't half bad, it will never be as good as the real thing. But when you take into consideration that you made it all by yourself and it seems to be a fairly healthy dish, you'll forgive me. I promise. :)

If you're doing this, pls tell me the results. Also, if you think you have anything that enhances this recipe, do share. May THE FORCE be with you.

the force is strong in this one