Thursday, August 7, 2008


Last night, Jesse blew chunks. And right in our bed too.
According to Einstein's lesser known Theory of Abdominal Regurgitation™, the Ickiness index™ of human vomit increases exponentially with the age of the said human. In his infancy, a typical human child, during the occasion of any random gastrointestinal expulsion, will expel a projectile that is low on the Ickiness Index™. The quality of the said vomit will be of a transluscent white liquid, fluid consistency that emits a pleasant aroma - often associated with babies and breakfast cereal.

As the human child progresses in age, his projectiles will be higher up the Ickiness Index™ demonstrating a thicker consistency often coupled with solid masses. The colour will also be darker usually with a spectrum of hues, and the odour unbearable.
The poor boy must have drank a little too much milk. He'd gone to sleep for almost an hour when he started coughing and hacking. And the next thing we knew, the boy's supper was making a comeback. He sat up on bed looking all groggy and disoriented after the first wave, and I quickly recognised that as the calm before the storm.

I lifted my t-shirt up to his face and he let loose all over it. We quickly gave him a wipe down and a change of jammies and he went back to bed as though nothing had happened.

Meanwhile, Daddy spent the next hour (almost, I kid you not) spraying the gook off the sheets and the shirt. It was a light brown gelatinous liquid with half-digested Nyonya Kueh, corn kernels and a bloody blueberry. And it refused to come off.

Gross. And yeah, it's gonna get worse. *sigh*


  1. Haha. Perhaps you should get a pail in standby mode and the moment you hear a sound, rush towards him with the pail. It'll save you an hour's work. ;)

  2. This should be a guide to fatherhood. I'm going to read it again when it's my turn to be a dad. :)

  3. aaah... projectile vomit... one time my kid hurled in the car. took some time to get the smell out... ecch.

  4. wah..daddy? not mummy?
    oh..mae, you're one very lucky lady!!
    sorry daddy, hv no sympathy for you..just jesse...poor kid!

  5. Sigh that is something that i have to live with. My son has been vomitting since baby. And it comes out like waterfall, i kid you not. Now there still would be at least 2 incidents a week if i'm lucky.

  6. Poor jessie. hope he feels much better now.

  7. Good plan, MG. Thanks.
    HB, can't promise you good results, bro. Better register with or something, or your kid might need therapy in the future. :lol:
    Yeah, Simon. We had a few of those too. Fabric seats are the worst.
    Daddy is the Cleaner, Mott!
    My heart goes out to you, Prissy.
    He's down with cough now, Gina.