Friday, March 27, 2009


This is a long, whiny one!

On Wednesday, I had a presentation to do at the client's. It was 2:30pm and I had a half hour to make it there, so it was all good. But when I got to my car, someone had double parked behind me.

Now, anyone who's ever been to Damansara Perdana will tell you that parking is a nightmare. There is so little space here that people double park. But we have an unwritten understanding about this; you park behind someone, you leave your number or a namecard.

I called the number on the dashboard. No answer. I called again. Still nothing. At this point, I was getting a little annoyed. Don't block someone's car if you're got gonna pick up the phone. And then suddenly I got an answer.

"Could you move your car please," I asked, trying my best not to sound irritated. I had always thought it best to be cordial in any situation. Unfortunately, the bitch on the other end of the line had other ideas. "Hmmph!," she grunted rudely, as though I had inconvenienced her. And with that, she hung up.

Fine. As long as she's coming to get her car. I thought.

10 minutes later, I was still there, my car still blocked. So I called her again, intending to give her a piece of my mind. No answer. I called again. And again. And again. By then I was seething. And I was gonna be late for my appointment. I got my colleagues to call. Same result. I SMSed her. No reply.

"I dunno what your problem is... but you're blocking my car and I need to leave," the next message said. Still nothing. By then a half hour had passed. I pressed on the horn incessantly, until passers-by stopped to offer me advice. I told them the situation.

"Smash her window," someone said. "Scratch her car," another advised. "Get a towtruck," still another said. It was all tempting, but I was never the violent sort. And so I waited. Another hour passed. More calls. More SMSes, and still nothing.

"Go ahead and do the presentation," I told my colleague who was waiting for me at the client's. I wasn't getting anywhere and my blood was boiling. Sure, I could have just gone back up to my office and chill out, but I didn't want to miss seeing this bitch face-to-face just so I can scream at her.

In the meantime, I see suspicious characters coming out of my office building, pretending to look around, and then turning to look at her car. I could only assume that perhaps these guys were her colleagues sent to check if the coast was clear, and if she could safely move her car without anyone yelling at her. I was now even more determined to see this woman!

Finally, my cousin suggested I call the municipal council. Apparently, they can bring a tow-truck around and deal with the problem. Unfortunately, however, it was storming in PJ and the trucks were pretty much grounded that day. But the nice lady at MBPJ offered to call the errant owner of the vehicle that was blocking mine.

It was 5pm and I had waited a full 2 and a half hours. I wasn't leaving without a fight.

The call to MBPJ must have worked. She calls me and puts on this fake apology crap, "Am I blocking your car? I'm sorry... sorry!" But I was having none of her shit. "Just get down here and move your car now!" I screamed into the phone.

She comes along some 2 minutes later, and I finally see this thorn in my side. She had one of those wannabe-high-society-arrogant-and-bitchy-datin-looks, the kind of face that had been fattened and pampered by kickbacks and corruption... well, you know the type. Although this one drove a Proton Persona. She looked so hateful (probably not her fault if she was born that way), and that just drove my anger into overdrive!

"What the hell were you thinking!?!?" I yelled, my face convoluted into what was probably a horrible sight to behold. (Not that I'm the hallmark of beauty, but you know what I mean.)

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she pleaded. "I was in a meeting and I didn't have my phone!" She had the cheek to lie, despite the fact that she actually answered my call much earlier on.

"BULLSHIT!!!" I screamed into her face. "You bloody answered my call but you just REFUSED to come down! I've been waiting for you for THREE BLOODY HOURS!!!"

At that juncture, she was still trying to weasel her way out of with some bullshit story or other, sounding all whiny and snivelly which served only to further aggravate me. I was having none of that.

"Move your *bleep* car now!" I yelled. I dun like yelling profanities at a woman. I had told myself before she came down to refrain from calling her "bitch" in her face, and to omit any f-words I might be thinking about. But in the heat of the moment, I just lost it. I felt a little bad about it even as I said it, but I had a... erm... momentum to maintain. Oh well. Can't say she didn't deserve it.

As she struggled to open her door, I gave her one last good one.

"Don't you EVER park behind my car!!!" I snarled, "YOU UNDERSTAND!?!?" She drove off in a hurry. And that was that.

I would have been a lot more gracious if this had been an honest mistake, if she had really left her phone somewhere else. But this piece of shit actually answered my call. She grunted very rudely when I asked her to move her car, and that in itself is not acceptable. And to top it off, she made me wait almost 3 hours.

People like that must never reproduce.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Last of the True Taste of Taiping


ckt at its best - charcoal-fried

No prize for guessing what I ate in Taiping last week.

While most Malaysian's are familiar with Penang Char Kuey Teow, not many know of the Taiping variant of the dish. It's very much like Penang's, except ours is far superior. Heh. This is attributed in no small part to the fact that the best stalls in Taiping make their CKT on a good ol' fashioned charcoal stove, lending the dish a nice, smoky flavour. Unfortunately, it's a dying trade. Most hawkers these days take the easy way out with a gas stove.

My favourite place is no longer there. The poor lady who use to ply her trade in Taiping's Greenhouse Area, had been plagued with all kinds of health problems. Last time I was there, she was still recovering from a gallstone removal. These days, she's no longer there, and I fear the worse.

But all is not lost. In the old market square of Pokok Assam, the Fu family is still going on strong, having been here for over 20 years now, doing it the old-fashioned way. Old Mother Fu (heh!) is still doing this, and thankfully for us Taiping CKT lovers, her son, Chong, is taking up the mantle. Not nearly as good as my favourite place, but it's a good enough substitute if you're looking for that authentic Taiping taste. Open from late evenings up till 1:00am, whenever they feel like it. To avoid disappointment, call beforehand.

Go here for the GoogleMap. Call Fu at 012-562 4088.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Mother vs Wife

"If you mother and I both fell into the ocean," said an ex-girlfriend, carefully articulating her words, "and you could save only one, who would you save?" Hahah. Sure, every girl wants to know this, but it takes a special girl (namely the ones who should be enrolled into a special school) to actually ask it. But yesterday, this scenario played out in reality.

Mom had gotten her cataract removed last week. Between her boys, we all decided that we would take turns going home to care for her, and also to take her. Although cataract removals are far more advanced that ever, with laser technology, faster healing, no bandages and all, no mother can ever have enough of good ol' fashioned TLC. And so, we boys set out to do our filial duty.

I had taken a week off of work for my shift. I was all packed and ready to go when Mae woke up looking like wilted white flower in a shitstorm.

"My stomach hurts," she winced in pain, clasping her enormous belly.

Here I was, on my way to being a good son, and there she was, my wife, expecting me to be a good husband and father. It should have been an easy choice, but I was torn nevertheless.

"Ma, Mae is sick," I told her, my voice wavering in grave concerned, "I'm taking her to the Gynae. I might not be able to come back today."

I hated myself for disappointing her. I had been a shitty son for some years now, and just when I was about to make right with her, this was happening. But Mom, bless her, was bigger than that.

"I'm fine," she said. "Stay home and take care of Mae."

And so I did. I took Mae to Dr. Huam and both mother and baby are fine. Mom's fine too, cos I got Jeff to bring her down to my place so I can watch over all of them. Thankfully, Mom's follow up visit to her doctor isn't due for another couple of weeks. Jesse's happy too since he always looked forward to his Mah-Mah visiting. And so, all is well in the LoopyMeals household once again.

And yeah, back to that loaded question at the start of this post; there is only one correct way to deal with a question like this. Remember you heard it here first. :)

"I'd let the both of you drown," I told the silly arse of a girlfriend "then I can get a new girlfriend, and my mother won't be around to stop me."

"Between my mother and you," I told Mae in mock seriousness, as we drove to the hospital, "I choose you." And despite her unbearable pain, she found the strength to answer me. "You're such an idiot!" But out of the corner of my eye, I saw it - a shit-eating grin from ear-to-ear.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Getting On My Nerves


bone, drugs & disharmony

This was me last week. Actually, only the x-rays are me. The guy is Dr William Chan and he's showing me the error of my ways. Okay, no. I'm just being dramatic. I was in no way responsible for my own pain.

I got up some weeks ago with a stiff neck. Since I've had stiff neck for as long as I remember, I didn't think much of it cos this kind of stuff usually just goes away on its own. But no. Not this time. After almost a week of pain trying to turn my head, I had the miserable shitty feeling that I was not getting better. And as though I'm not suffering enough, I win a bonus pain in my arm as well.

As it turns out, I have bone spurs on my spine. These are nasty little buggers that grow out of your bones due to wear and tear. For some reason, that has caused one of my discs (that's the rubber jelly washer thing between my cervical vertebrae C5 & C6) to swell a bit. This has cause it to pinch my nerves, which leads to a whole world of pain in my right arm at the bicep-tricep area. This brings fresh meaning to the phrase "getting on my nerves".

I get a week off. Yay. And medicine for 10 days. Boo. And I go back for some comforting therapy. Yay. Which costs RM60 a pop. Boo. But I get goof off at home. Yah. But I gotta do the exercises for my neck. Boo.

So yeah, it's been a roller coaster ride for me.

Anyway, the medicine is long gone. I have also stopped going for the therapy. But it still hurts. And yet, I've decided not to see him again, at least until I can stands it no mores! Doc did hint at other forms of diagnosis and treatment, involving an MRI scan, injection into the spine, surgery, and other painful sounding procedures.

I hate getting old.