Monday, June 1, 2009

Maddie's 16-Day Milestone Report

Day 1: Subject Madeleine is soft and squishy. Limbs and extremities look frail and fragile. Will probably snap under little effort. Must handle with care. Umbilical cord withering away, but still attached. Subject appears to need no constant nutrition, finding adequate sustenance from a short stint at subject's maternal mammary gland.

Day 2: Subject is excreting a dark, sticky matter from its posterior. This product is assumed to be Meconium. An assumption will be adequate at present time for the purpose of this report, due to this researcher's refusal to perform a taste and smell test.

Day 3: Subject has begun consuming and requiring a larger intake of subsistence. Its current diet of Colostrum, a concentrated nutritional lactative product, will soon be replaced by a higher volume dairy product. The Meconium production appears to be ceasing, much to the olfactory delight of the research team. Subject, however, has taken a slight yellow appearance on the epidermis. Subject will undergo a daily exposure of natural ultraviolet rays.

Day 6: Natural UV Therapy had paid off. Tests at the Damansara Specialist Hospital measures subject Madeleine's bilirubin level at 9.8mg/dl, a safe level. Subject has begun to respond to visual and auditory stimulus.

Day 9: Limbs and extremities have gotten firmer. Subject has also demonstrated increased strength, as well as increased suction power, as evident during feedings. However, it must be noted that subject's suction prowess is estimated on the basis of facial convolutions expressed by subject Madeleine's maternal lactation unit (also referred to as Mae).

Day 11: Subject's umbilical cord has dislodge from the main unit. Upon visual inspection, said umbilical matter is dried and withered, displaying a dark brownish-red transluscency similar to the processed combusted porcine aliment usually available during the Lunar new year festival. However, inhalation tests offer no such similarity, producing a pungent and putrid result. The research team has concluded that the unbilical matter is best disposed as biohazard and not safe for consumption, nor as accessorial ornaments.

Day 13: Registered at the National Registrar. Subject Madeleine will now fall under the purview of the Federal Government. However, subject will still be required to report to her parental units for all matters pertaining to cultivation and nurturing.

Day 16: Subject has begun to respond kinesthetically to stimulus. Her oral emissions in times of hunger are registering higher decibel levels oftentimes shattering the concentration of the maternal lactation unit. Otherwise, subject displays a calm, quiet demeanour, befitting of assumption regarding the female of her species. It must be noted that this assumption has oft been faulty with the researcher's own experiences with the female of the species.

This concludes the 16-Day Milestone Report on Subject Madeleine. In the final summary, the subject has shown remarkable growth and positive development. It's parental units, however, though positive in outlook, are showing signs of fatigue and weariness, but that is typical is studies like this.

9 comments:

  1. Doctor Buruk is it? Hahahah!
    Glad she is ok from jaundice liao.

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  2. hey james how come i feel Madeline bb birth was harder than Jesse ? is this true ? lol btw congratulations to u and Mae :)

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  3. Awesome!!! Congratulations....!

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  4. Hey James, missing your blog updates. I lazy to sign up on twitter la.

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  5. Never a dull day Parental Unit James Tan

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  6. UPDATES WHEY!!!

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