Last Friday I was at work when Mae calls. "Roma got possessed," Mae was flustered and frantic, "she was writhing on the floor, crying and wailing!"
Apparently, Satan had invaded my mother-in-law's home. Despite the pious woman's daily devotions to God, His age-old nemesis had struck. Mom-in-law brought in the calvary - her sis. Together the two ladies and Mae prayed over our demon-possessed Roma.
"I still feel an eerie presence," Roma said, having calmed down a little. Despite the prayers, this one was here to stay.
By the time we got home that night, she still felt a little strange. I knew what I had to do. It was my turn to show this demon who boss around here.
"Kita orang Cina percaya," I explained our Chinese beliefs to Roma, "kalau hantu sudah masuk, dia tak mau keluar." Once the demon has found a way in, it would never leave. Brave little Roma didn't even flinch at this suggestion.
"We'll have to violently beat it out of you," I continued. I turned to Mae and demonstrated how Master Leong Fu had shown me during my apprenticeship with him in the Shaolin Temple of Kwai Chang Caine. Grab the possessed by the neck with the Furious Dragon Gripping Claw and administer repeated blows across the face with Palm of Buddha Slap of Death.
And just like that, without even laying a hand on her, at the sound of my Thunderous Voice of Doom the devil left Roma as quickly as he had come. And the truth was revealed.
The girl had wanted to breach her employment contract to go home to her family and she decided to use the oldest trick in the book - that book being the Indonesian Maid's Dirty Tricks Guide to Breach of Employment Contract. Still, we decided not to embarrass her for her dumbass attempts to pull a fast one. No one should ever have to feel ashamed for missing home.
And so, once again, the Furious Dragon Gripping Claw and the Palm of Buddha Slap of Death will be laid to rest until a time when it is needed once again.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
Shoes Blues
Jesse is growing out of his shoes faster than we can buy them. At his age, we reckon he needs new footwear every 6 months or less. As if that isn't problematic enough, the boy has developed a taste of his own.
These days, he pretty much decides what he lets us put on his feet. Fortunately for us (and himself), he's got pretty good taste.
On an outing at our favourite hypermarket, Giant, we decide that our kid is not below wearing cheapo shoes. And so we pick out a couple of bargains - one is a reasonably tasteful pair of faux-leather sandals, and the other are plastic Spiderman flip-flops which look as cheap as they costs. Heh.
He loves the faux-leather sandal so much that he's worn it to sleep on several occasions. Now, as for Spidey, every time we try to slip it on his feet he'll scream his head off and violently kick them off.
Last night we took him footwear shopping at Treehouse (which, by the way, has some of the coolest kiddie footwear around). Every single pair of shoes we attempted to put on his feet would have him screeching like a banshee. It was a nightmare.
You know how you sometimes go to the mall and see some kid screeching at the top of his lung, behaving like a real brat and you secretly thank God that it's not your kid? And then you shake your head and wonder what dumbass parents brought up such a kid? That would be us. *sigh*
I'm considering tossing him into the jungle and letting wolves raise him. I hear they do a pretty good job. Then again, I suppose it's cos they dun have footwear to worry about.
These days, he pretty much decides what he lets us put on his feet. Fortunately for us (and himself), he's got pretty good taste.
On an outing at our favourite hypermarket, Giant, we decide that our kid is not below wearing cheapo shoes. And so we pick out a couple of bargains - one is a reasonably tasteful pair of faux-leather sandals, and the other are plastic Spiderman flip-flops which look as cheap as they costs. Heh.
He loves the faux-leather sandal so much that he's worn it to sleep on several occasions. Now, as for Spidey, every time we try to slip it on his feet he'll scream his head off and violently kick them off.
Last night we took him footwear shopping at Treehouse (which, by the way, has some of the coolest kiddie footwear around). Every single pair of shoes we attempted to put on his feet would have him screeching like a banshee. It was a nightmare.
You know how you sometimes go to the mall and see some kid screeching at the top of his lung, behaving like a real brat and you secretly thank God that it's not your kid? And then you shake your head and wonder what dumbass parents brought up such a kid? That would be us. *sigh*
I'm considering tossing him into the jungle and letting wolves raise him. I hear they do a pretty good job. Then again, I suppose it's cos they dun have footwear to worry about.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Quarantined
On Monday I caught the flu.
Since I hardly ever catch anything, I decided to spring for the full and complete package. Along with my basic subscription of the Flu, I also got a classic case of the Runny Nose, a dizzying, head-spinning Fever and a standard spell of Sore Throat. To seal the deal, I also decided on a one-time offer of an everlasting Cough .
Since it was such a comprehensive package, I decided to go for the Double Whammy Honeymoon Set so that Mae too can enjoy my momentous catch. Quickly enough, both of us were lying in bed enjoying my Flu.
I was about to upgrade to the Family Package to include Jesse when Mae decided that perhaps he was too young for such excitement. There had been several occasions when the boy had caught his very own Flu. Having proven himself capable of getting his own Flu, we decided to exclude him this time around. So while Mae and I are experiencing our Flu package in the comfort of our own home, we sent Jesse away to his grandmother's, and he's been there since Monday.
*sigh*
Mae's gone to see him cos she's all better. But me, I'm still sick like a dog. I miss my boy. *sniff*
Since I hardly ever catch anything, I decided to spring for the full and complete package. Along with my basic subscription of the Flu, I also got a classic case of the Runny Nose, a dizzying, head-spinning Fever and a standard spell of Sore Throat. To seal the deal, I also decided on a one-time offer of an everlasting Cough .
Since it was such a comprehensive package, I decided to go for the Double Whammy Honeymoon Set so that Mae too can enjoy my momentous catch. Quickly enough, both of us were lying in bed enjoying my Flu.
I was about to upgrade to the Family Package to include Jesse when Mae decided that perhaps he was too young for such excitement. There had been several occasions when the boy had caught his very own Flu. Having proven himself capable of getting his own Flu, we decided to exclude him this time around. So while Mae and I are experiencing our Flu package in the comfort of our own home, we sent Jesse away to his grandmother's, and he's been there since Monday.
*sigh*
Mae's gone to see him cos she's all better. But me, I'm still sick like a dog. I miss my boy. *sniff*
Monday, June 5, 2006
Taiping Trip In Pictures
I've been busy hence the sporadic updates. Here's a pictorial of our Taiping trip last week.
We left on a Friday. Scheduled to depart at 1800hrs but ended up leaving at 2100hrs instead on account of the rain. It rained all the way home dragging a 3 hour journey up to 4 hours. Ugh!
Thankfully, in Taiping you can always expect a light at the end of the tunnel. Mine was Char Kuey Teow at one of Taiping's very few late night hangouts - SiangMalam. This is a new discovery for me. (pardon the bad shot - the Nokia 6280 doesn't do macro)
Breakfast was one of Taiping's best-kept secret - Kai See Mein, which is loosely translated as Shredded-Chicken Noodle. It's kinda like Ipoh Kuey Teow, except we eat ours with Sambal Belacan. We had ours with side orders of Beans Sprouts and Fishballs. Taiping folks love their Kai See Mein which is why the place is always packed. Read more at Jeff's. Jeff's my brother. So is Steve.
Jesse loves it in Taiping. Our house is one of those Colonial shophouses. Grandma had it extended so it's a pretty long house - almost 300 feet long from our front door to the back. This is a picture of Jesse doing a 300ft dash.
Lunch is Fishball Kuey Teow at Taiping's Casual Market. This dish must be unique to Taiping since I swear I have never seen it served anywhere else. It's a pretty basic Hokkien-style fried kuey teow with fishballs, fishcakes and chinese bbq pork. Nice.
At night, we celebrated Mom's birthday. Jeff, Steve and I decided we'd go home together this time to celebrate early with Mom. It was a joint celebration with Auntie Aini - since her birthday fell on the same day. I called Mom later in the week and she told me that she was "sooo happy" that we all came home. *sniff* Mother's are easy. Heh! Just go home a lot, kiddies. Don't say Uncle James never told you so.
In the morning, Mae and I took Jesse and his cousins, Dhanika and Irisha to the zoo. Dhanika, the older kid, is a real sweetheart who's really taken to me. "Uncle James can I stay with you?" she says as she gives me her best puppy-dog eyes. "But your mommy will be lonely," I told her. "But I will miss you," she flashes more of her puppy-dog eyes. *awww*
Jesse never did give ice-cream a chance. I finally realised why - we don't buy enough pink ice-cream. The boy likes pink. Ugh! The plus side is, he's enjoying ice-cream now, regardless of color. I'm just glad he likes ice-cream like all kids should. I'll have to do something about the bit about liking pink.
That's it. I'm done. Work is piling up. Will be back when the dust settles. Be good, ok?
We left on a Friday. Scheduled to depart at 1800hrs but ended up leaving at 2100hrs instead on account of the rain. It rained all the way home dragging a 3 hour journey up to 4 hours. Ugh!
Thankfully, in Taiping you can always expect a light at the end of the tunnel. Mine was Char Kuey Teow at one of Taiping's very few late night hangouts - SiangMalam. This is a new discovery for me. (pardon the bad shot - the Nokia 6280 doesn't do macro)
Breakfast was one of Taiping's best-kept secret - Kai See Mein, which is loosely translated as Shredded-Chicken Noodle. It's kinda like Ipoh Kuey Teow, except we eat ours with Sambal Belacan. We had ours with side orders of Beans Sprouts and Fishballs. Taiping folks love their Kai See Mein which is why the place is always packed. Read more at Jeff's. Jeff's my brother. So is Steve.
Jesse loves it in Taiping. Our house is one of those Colonial shophouses. Grandma had it extended so it's a pretty long house - almost 300 feet long from our front door to the back. This is a picture of Jesse doing a 300ft dash.
Lunch is Fishball Kuey Teow at Taiping's Casual Market. This dish must be unique to Taiping since I swear I have never seen it served anywhere else. It's a pretty basic Hokkien-style fried kuey teow with fishballs, fishcakes and chinese bbq pork. Nice.
At night, we celebrated Mom's birthday. Jeff, Steve and I decided we'd go home together this time to celebrate early with Mom. It was a joint celebration with Auntie Aini - since her birthday fell on the same day. I called Mom later in the week and she told me that she was "sooo happy" that we all came home. *sniff* Mother's are easy. Heh! Just go home a lot, kiddies. Don't say Uncle James never told you so.
In the morning, Mae and I took Jesse and his cousins, Dhanika and Irisha to the zoo. Dhanika, the older kid, is a real sweetheart who's really taken to me. "Uncle James can I stay with you?" she says as she gives me her best puppy-dog eyes. "But your mommy will be lonely," I told her. "But I will miss you," she flashes more of her puppy-dog eyes. *awww*
Jesse never did give ice-cream a chance. I finally realised why - we don't buy enough pink ice-cream. The boy likes pink. Ugh! The plus side is, he's enjoying ice-cream now, regardless of color. I'm just glad he likes ice-cream like all kids should. I'll have to do something about the bit about liking pink.
That's it. I'm done. Work is piling up. Will be back when the dust settles. Be good, ok?
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