Monday, June 1, 2009

Maddie's 16-Day Milestone Report

Day 1: Subject Madeleine is soft and squishy. Limbs and extremities look frail and fragile. Will probably snap under little effort. Must handle with care. Umbilical cord withering away, but still attached. Subject appears to need no constant nutrition, finding adequate sustenance from a short stint at subject's maternal mammary gland.

Day 2: Subject is excreting a dark, sticky matter from its posterior. This product is assumed to be Meconium. An assumption will be adequate at present time for the purpose of this report, due to this researcher's refusal to perform a taste and smell test.

Day 3: Subject has begun consuming and requiring a larger intake of subsistence. Its current diet of Colostrum, a concentrated nutritional lactative product, will soon be replaced by a higher volume dairy product. The Meconium production appears to be ceasing, much to the olfactory delight of the research team. Subject, however, has taken a slight yellow appearance on the epidermis. Subject will undergo a daily exposure of natural ultraviolet rays.

Day 6: Natural UV Therapy had paid off. Tests at the Damansara Specialist Hospital measures subject Madeleine's bilirubin level at 9.8mg/dl, a safe level. Subject has begun to respond to visual and auditory stimulus.

Day 9: Limbs and extremities have gotten firmer. Subject has also demonstrated increased strength, as well as increased suction power, as evident during feedings. However, it must be noted that subject's suction prowess is estimated on the basis of facial convolutions expressed by subject Madeleine's maternal lactation unit (also referred to as Mae).

Day 11: Subject's umbilical cord has dislodge from the main unit. Upon visual inspection, said umbilical matter is dried and withered, displaying a dark brownish-red transluscency similar to the processed combusted porcine aliment usually available during the Lunar new year festival. However, inhalation tests offer no such similarity, producing a pungent and putrid result. The research team has concluded that the unbilical matter is best disposed as biohazard and not safe for consumption, nor as accessorial ornaments.

Day 13: Registered at the National Registrar. Subject Madeleine will now fall under the purview of the Federal Government. However, subject will still be required to report to her parental units for all matters pertaining to cultivation and nurturing.

Day 16: Subject has begun to respond kinesthetically to stimulus. Her oral emissions in times of hunger are registering higher decibel levels oftentimes shattering the concentration of the maternal lactation unit. Otherwise, subject displays a calm, quiet demeanour, befitting of assumption regarding the female of her species. It must be noted that this assumption has oft been faulty with the researcher's own experiences with the female of the species.

This concludes the 16-Day Milestone Report on Subject Madeleine. In the final summary, the subject has shown remarkable growth and positive development. It's parental units, however, though positive in outlook, are showing signs of fatigue and weariness, but that is typical is studies like this.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Born to Twitter

I love Twitter. If that isn't already apparent enough, here's one more reason.

On 16th May 2009, Baby Madeleine came out into the world. While she was always due on that very day, Doc had told us the day before that Maddie was most likely late. So we went about our Saturday like every other. But our Little Girl had other plans. I was just about done with my haircut when Mae called to say she was bleeding. No pain. No contractions. Just blood. We panicked. I called up our family members and told them. Told them also that I'd update on Twitter, which in turn updated my Facebook:

thatjamesThatJames rushing to hospital now. Slight bleeding. Baby due today, but could be false alarm.
12:21 PM May 16th from mobile web

mahyunimahyuni: @thatjames Hope it all goes well :) All the best to you and your family.
May 16, 2009 12:43 from TwitterFox

thatjamesThatJames Doc drew the curtains to inspect Mae. Jesse disappointed cos he wanna see. Kid doesnt realise he could be scarred for life.
12:46 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames 4cm dilated. It's today. Mae getting prepped. I'm registering. Stress! Jesse doesn't understand why he can't go in. MIL coming to rescue.
12:55 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames Registration taking forever. I need a shave. Stubble not good on baby girl's skin.
1:02 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames Waiting now. Nothing's happening. Strangely, Mae is in no pain.
1:21 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames - Doc giving epidural. Painful injection!
1:34 PM May 16th from TwitPic

thatjamesThatJames Stepmom called. Reminded me to call confinement lady. Lucky! My brain stopped functioning an hour ago.
1:44 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames Didn't realise baby was arriving cos Mae didn't feel any painful contractions. Just the urge to take a dump. Weird.
1:52 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames - That spike was contraction. Mae felt it.
1:57 PM May 16th from TwitPic

thatjamesThatJames Water just broke on its own. Dad said when they told him my mom's water broke. He said, "That's ok, we'll get her another." Haha!
2:01 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames should be updating until baby born. Facebook limits Twitter updates. If u see nothing, try
2:09 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames From the charts, Doc says Baby very active. I think she can't wait to get out. Probably chanting, "Are we there yet?"
2:13 PM May 16th from mobile web

lord_ashelord_ashe: @thatjames whoa. You've got my best wishes there. All the best! My wife is following your feed too!
May 16, 2009 14:20 from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames Thanks for the wishes. Will reply later. Not easy doing it from my cheap-ass Nokia. I need an iPhone but spent all my money on baby. Ha.
2:35 PM May 16th from mobile web
shaolintigerShaolinTiger: @thatjames congrats mister, we want twitpics after birth. Time for a Nokia E71 or a Crackberry.
May 16, 2009 14:02 from web

lord_ashelord_ashe: @thatjames haha thats what an iphone is for! i was watching the in room tv DuRInG delivery. Memoirs of geisha.
May 16, 2009 14:41 from twibble

thatjamesThatJames Abandoning Mae. Going for lunch. Hungry. Gotta choke down my food before baby arrives!
2:43 PM May 16th from mobile web

kimberlycunkimberlycun: @thatjames have a safe labour to you and mae!!!! more twitpics!
May 16, 2009 16:08 from TweetDeck

thatjamesThatJames Got me a Gillette at the shop downstairs. Now clean shaven enough to greet my baby girl when she arrives.
3:09 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames Turns out water didn't break. Doc came and burst it by hand. Would have taken a shot if wasn't momentarily dumbfounded. Nasty!
3:36 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames It's slow. Doc expects it to happen only by 5 or 6pm. Mae's sleeping. I wanna sleep too. Wish I had a portable DVD player.
3:43 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames CellSafe guy calls me to see how we're getting along. They're the new guys we're banking Baby's stemcells with. Good service so far.
3:49 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames - Contractns make Mae pukish. Hence tray.
4:09 PM May 16th from TwitPic

thatjamesThatJames turns puke-catcher! Mae blew chunks of Roti Canai & Dhal into a tray that's way too small. Thank God nurses got here b4 it overflowed.
4:26 PM May 16th from mobile web

thatjamesThatJames 10cm dilated. It's time!
4:43 PM May 16th from mobile web

jasonmumblesjasonmumbles: @thatjames Prayers for both mum and baby. Keep us updated, James!
May 16, 2009 16:45 from TwitterFox

thatjamesThatJames - Push. Rest. Repeat.
4:59 PM May 16th from TwitPic

jasonmumblesjasonmumbles: @thatjames Mae looks like she's going to kill you for taking her picture at such time. Heh! Push Mae, push!
May 16, 2009 17:01 from TwitterFox

thatjamesThatJames - She's out!
5:13 PM May 16th from TwitPic

jasonmumblesjasonmumbles: @thatjames Congratulations! Woohooo!
May 16, 2009 17:22 from TwitterFox

akiraceoakiraceo: @thatjames Gratz ^^ !!!!!!
May 16, 2009 17:25 from TwitterFox

thatjamesThatJames - Madeleine Tan. 2.9kg Born 16.5.09 17:05
5:28 PM May 16th from TwitPic

yvonneslyeohyvonneslyeoh: @thatjames - ah! lots of luv & kisses going her way....Congratulations to ya both!!!
May 16, 2009 17:34 from web

eyerizzzeyerizzz: @thatjames Congratulations! The live minute-by-minute updates were... er... interesting. LOL
May 16, 2009 17:37 from TweetDeck

lord_ashelord_ashe: @thatjames well congratulations! Welcome to the world. My first twitter birth feed lol.
May 16, 2009 17:43 from twibble

kimberlycunkimberlycun: @thatjames hi madelein! Welcome to the world :)
May 16, 2009 17:46 from twibble

nileshbabunileshbabu: @thatjames congrats!
May 16, 2009 17:51 from TweetDeck

defaultmottgirl: @thatjames - Oh man.... she's gorgeous!
May 16, 2009 19:47 from TwitPic

thatjamesThatJames - Thanks for the love! Mommy, baby, fine!
6:51 PM May 16th from TwitPic

melodysongmelodysong: @thatjames Congratulations to you all! They both look lovely:)
May 16, 2009 18:54 from TwitterBerry

sivinkitsivinkit: @thatjames A Big congrats!! God's blessings be with your family and esp. mommy and new arrival.
May 16, 2009 19:49 from TweetDeck

ben_israelben_israel: @thatjames hey congrats!
May 16, 2009 19:53 from TweetDeck

thatjamesThatJames - Jesse very thrilled to meet baby sis.
7:52 PM May 16th from TwitPic

meeshlymeeshly: @thatjames Congrats mate!
May 16, 2009 19:55 from web

thatjamesThatJames is home for a quick shower, a Maggi Mee dinner and to pack some stuff. Staying at the hospital tonite!
8:52 PM May 16th from Twitterrific

thatjamesThatJames is so tired that even the hospital-issue 'hubby bed' looks inviting. Goodnight folks. Thanks for the well wishes!
11:15 PM May 16th from mobile web

So yeah, our little girl Madeleine was born to a small Twitter audience last Saturday. Her arrival was also duly announced in a blow-by-blow account over at Facebook for our friends and family to follow.

It was quite a ride, and for all you fellas who happened to be on Twitter and Facebook that Saturday, thanks for your support and comments. It was pretty amazing to be able to share the moment with you. Thanks to Twitter, Twitpic and Facebook. Does this make me some kind of New Media Whore?

Oh yeah. Come follow me on Twitter. :)