No Eye See

I have a tendency to leave my spectacles all over the place, so this morning's episode wasn't terribly unfamilliar to me. Except that after over one hour of searching, the damn glasses were still nowhere to be found.

"Honey," I called Mae on the phone, "did you happen to see my glasses?" Nope. "What about Anie," I asked if the maid had seen it. No again.

By then I had overturned the entire house. I was late for work. And the bloody specs were still nowhere to be found. So, I decided to go to work blind. As I left, I called the wife again.

"Maybe Anie accidentally broke them," I presented my conspiracy theory to Mae, "and decided to get rid of the incriminating evidence." While I spoke, I found myself making my way towards the trash disposal room, half expecting to rummage through this morning's garbage. Thankfully, I came to my senses.

As I drove, I called Mae again. "Maybe you took my glasses."

"Of course not," she snapped, quickly losing her patience. "I can't wear your glasses without getting a headache!"

"Maybe you put them in your handbag by mistake," I suggested, sheepishly. I was getting desperate. "It could happen."

"Don't be silly," Mae scoffed. Damn woman scoffed at me. And I took it like a downtrodden little boy, defeated. Wasted and spent, by my cheap hundred ringgit glasses. And a wife who scoffed at me.

Half an hour later Mae calls.

"Erm... hehe... I have good news and bad news," said a self-righteous monkey of a klutz on the other end of the line.

Ho ho ho. Sweet revenge.