Motherparker

This is a long, whiny one!

On Wednesday, I had a presentation to do at the client's. It was 2:30pm and I had a half hour to make it there, so it was all good. But when I got to my car, someone had double parked behind me.

Now, anyone who's ever been to Damansara Perdana will tell you that parking is a nightmare. There is so little space here that people double park. But we have an unwritten understanding about this; you park behind someone, you leave your number or a namecard.

I called the number on the dashboard. No answer. I called again. Still nothing. At this point, I was getting a little annoyed. Don't block someone's car if you're got gonna pick up the phone. And then suddenly I got an answer.

"Could you move your car please," I asked, trying my best not to sound irritated. I had always thought it best to be cordial in any situation. Unfortunately, the bitch on the other end of the line had other ideas. "Hmmph!," she grunted rudely, as though I had inconvenienced her. And with that, she hung up.

Fine. As long as she's coming to get her car. I thought.

10 minutes later, I was still there, my car still blocked. So I called her again, intending to give her a piece of my mind. No answer. I called again. And again. And again. By then I was seething. And I was gonna be late for my appointment. I got my colleagues to call. Same result. I SMSed her. No reply.

"I dunno what your problem is... but you're blocking my car and I need to leave," the next message said. Still nothing. By then a half hour had passed. I pressed on the horn incessantly, until passers-by stopped to offer me advice. I told them the situation.

"Smash her window," someone said. "Scratch her car," another advised. "Get a towtruck," still another said. It was all tempting, but I was never the violent sort. And so I waited. Another hour passed. More calls. More SMSes, and still nothing.

"Go ahead and do the presentation," I told my colleague who was waiting for me at the client's. I wasn't getting anywhere and my blood was boiling. Sure, I could have just gone back up to my office and chill out, but I didn't want to miss seeing this bitch face-to-face just so I can scream at her.

In the meantime, I see suspicious characters coming out of my office building, pretending to look around, and then turning to look at her car. I could only assume that perhaps these guys were her colleagues sent to check if the coast was clear, and if she could safely move her car without anyone yelling at her. I was now even more determined to see this woman!

Finally, my cousin suggested I call the municipal council. Apparently, they can bring a tow-truck around and deal with the problem. Unfortunately, however, it was storming in PJ and the trucks were pretty much grounded that day. But the nice lady at MBPJ offered to call the errant owner of the vehicle that was blocking mine.

It was 5pm and I had waited a full 2 and a half hours. I wasn't leaving without a fight.

The call to MBPJ must have worked. She calls me and puts on this fake apology crap, "Am I blocking your car? I'm sorry... sorry!" But I was having none of her shit. "Just get down here and move your car now!" I screamed into the phone.

She comes along some 2 minutes later, and I finally see this thorn in my side. She had one of those wannabe-high-society-arrogant-and-bitchy-datin-looks, the kind of face that had been fattened and pampered by kickbacks and corruption... well, you know the type. Although this one drove a Proton Persona. She looked so hateful (probably not her fault if she was born that way), and that just drove my anger into overdrive!

"What the hell were you thinking!?!?" I yelled, my face convoluted into what was probably a horrible sight to behold. (Not that I'm the hallmark of beauty, but you know what I mean.)

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she pleaded. "I was in a meeting and I didn't have my phone!" She had the cheek to lie, despite the fact that she actually answered my call much earlier on.

"BULLSHIT!!!" I screamed into her face. "You bloody answered my call but you just REFUSED to come down! I've been waiting for you for THREE BLOODY HOURS!!!"

At that juncture, she was still trying to weasel her way out of with some bullshit story or other, sounding all whiny and snivelly which served only to further aggravate me. I was having none of that.

"Move your *bleep* car now!" I yelled. I dun like yelling profanities at a woman. I had told myself before she came down to refrain from calling her "bitch" in her face, and to omit any f-words I might be thinking about. But in the heat of the moment, I just lost it. I felt a little bad about it even as I said it, but I had a... erm... momentum to maintain. Oh well. Can't say she didn't deserve it.

As she struggled to open her door, I gave her one last good one.

"Don't you EVER park behind my car!!!" I snarled, "YOU UNDERSTAND!?!?" She drove off in a hurry. And that was that.

I would have been a lot more gracious if this had been an honest mistake, if she had really left her phone somewhere else. But this piece of shit actually answered my call. She grunted very rudely when I asked her to move her car, and that in itself is not acceptable. And to top it off, she made me wait almost 3 hours.

People like that must never reproduce.