Friday, February 21, 2014

What the Hell?

If Hell had a showroom, our bedroom is it.

At nights, I go to bed in the hottest place on earth. These days, in this weather, we're clocking about 30-odd degrees Celsius.

Mae doesn't like the cold one bit. She also hates moving air, hence the fan is kept at the lowest speed. We also don't open the windows because my lovely wife is convinced that right outside, is a swarm of vicious mosquitoes hellbent on killing her.

"Honey, no matter how cold you get, you can always put on another blanket, or another layer of pajamas," I reason with her, "but I can't do anything more than removing all my coverings."

But no, Mae likes it Hellish.

Despite the unforgiving temperature, for some reason Jesse and Maddie like to bunk with us. That's when we get to experience a little of the "wailing and gnashing of teeth" as well.

*sigh* What's up with the weather anyway?

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Another Year of Abundance

In all, I've done over 10 Lou Sangs. So you can imagine the rest of the stuff that came with it. The whole lot of it. And unfortunately, you can't consume all that food without any backlash.

It took me 3 months to lose 3kgs (okay, so I wasn't as gung-ho as I could have been). And all of it came right back in just seven days. Life is unfair. Or fair, depending on how you look at it. *sigh*

In any case, Gung Hei Fat Choi. See? There's a "fat" in that greeting. How apt.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Dark Day

It's Maddie's fourth day at school. Last week was okay, but today didn't start well.

"Daddy, you stay with me, okay?" she asked, all the way to school. I try not to lie to her. "Only for a short while, Baby," I said reassuringly. But she was anxious all the same.

A short little trip to 7-Eleven was supposed to be a clever little bribe, but my little girl was cleverer. "Coughing cannot drink Vitagen," she tells me. Even her favourite Tic Tacs weren't doing the trick.

In the end I carried her all the way to her classroom. Teacher Mary Ann recognised the problem and attempted to carry her away. Maddie clutched at my shirt, fear and trembling in her eyes, like a tragic scene from a movie.

"Tell your girl it's gonna be alright, Gordon," Harvey Two-Face snarled, waving his gun menacingly as he held on to my child. "Lie," he hissed viciously, "like I lied."

Every impulse in my body wanted to react. I wanted to grab my little girl, clutch her close to me and run out the door. And I would have taken out whoever tried to stop me.

That would have been the Daddy she deserved, but not the one she needed right now.

I abandoned my little girl at the verge of tears today, and it was eating me up just a little bit. But as it turns out, she was all happy and cheerful when Mommy picked her up. See, Babykins? Daddy did it for your own good. :P

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Adult Entertainment

Okay, so the title is sensationalist, but the subject matter isn't all that far off.

Recently, Maddie's kindie threw their year-end concert. My little girl's class 3-year-olds sang "It's a Small World". Leading up the the big day, she had been rehearsing industriously - singing her harmony part during mealtime, bathtime, playtime and even potty time. It was the cutest thing, and we were certain it would be a cute little performance.

Then came the big day. When Maddie entered the stage with the rest of her classmates, we realised this was gonna be something else altogether. Firstly, it wasn't a familiar version of the song. This one had that pumped up thumpity-thump base going. Our little girl was dressed in a midriff-baring, spaghetti-strapped, sequined little black number.

And that was pretty much the theme for the whole affair. Little girls in all their revealing, sequined dresses, while most of the boys dressed like waiters at a karaoke joint. Somewhere in the program was a Bruno Mars song, and there was another class dancing to David Guetta. It was all very adult. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought this was some Kelab Malam Kanak-Kanak somewhere. Heheh.

Maybe I'm old fashion, but shouldn't kids do more kiddy things like dress up as little animals, bugs or plants singing cute kiddy songs, like "I've been working on the railroad"?

Okay, maybe not that one. That's a nursery rhyme about Dinah whom, I'm sure, is some two-timing slut who decided to rendezvous illicitly with another man in her kitchen. *tsk *tsk

Incidentally, Maddie was fabulous all the same. I think the kid's got entertainment in her blood. ;)

Saturday, October 20, 2012


Jesse came into our room early this morning, crying.

"I'm so scared Daddy," he sobbed. "I had a terrible nightmare." At this point, I'm supposed to say, "It's okay son, it's just a dream." But then, that would be so not me.

"What did you dream about," I asked.

"I dreamt I went into a portal," he explained, "and I was teleported to another planet."

"Then what happened?" I was intrigued at the colourful contents of the recesses of his 8-year-old mind.

"I couldn't breathe," he continued, "and then I died."

Man. Awesomest nightmare ever.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


It appears I'm back to not blogging again. And so this is a quick fix to that problem. Sort of an instant redemption thing.

I recently met a blogger who told me he makes it a point to blog often. He's a pretty busy guy, doing sales and all, so he manages some time in between appointments. So far, it's worked out pretty well for him.

But me, I'm anal. I like to nitpick at the stuff I write, going over the sentences again, tweaking it a little here and there, molding it and crafting it. I like it to read just quite right, so anyone reading can grasp the meaning, as well as the emotions attached. Can't help myself, really. It's a career habit.

But today I'm gonna try not to do that. Or at the very least, let some of it slide. Like, despite how that last paragraph makes me sound like some wanky aging hipster wannabe, I'm gonna let it slide.

Ah, the hazards of speed blogging.

Monday, August 27, 2012


"Hey Babykins," I call to Maddie as I have done countless times before. She is, after all, the baby of the family, and at 3-years-old it's a cute little term of endearment.

"Don't call me Babykins!" she replies, "I'm not a baby anymore, Daddy."

Maddie can't wait to grow up. And you can see it in every little thing she does. She feeds herself, what little of it she chooses to eat. She wears her own shoes, although once in awhile, she slips up and gets them on the wrong sides. She wakes up at night on her own to take a pee, and she wipes her own poo.

In fact, she so self-reliant that she's all but ready to move out on her own and never look back. And that breaks my heart just a little. Yes, yes, Daddies are supposed to learn to let go, but she's three I just need a little more of my Babykins just a little longer.

"Can't you just be Daddy's little Babykins for a little while more?" I pleaded. This was not looking good for me. This is exactly how Daddy get wrapped around their daughters little fingers. But alas, it was futile.

"Daddy, I'm a big girl now," she said as she looked earnestly at me, as though assuring me that Daddy's little girl is all grown up and that everything was gonna be alright. I was almost resigned to the fact that Maddie was never gonna be my Babykins anymore, when I remembered I still had a trump card up my sleeve.

"Ok Sweet Pea," I responded, "but how about Daddy bathe you now?"

"I want Daddy to bathe me," she squealed. And right there in the bathroom, we're back to being Daddy and Babykins once again. :)