Cerita Dongeng Merdeka

Suatu hari di sebuah warung bawah pokok di Empayar Melaka, abad ke-14. Laksamana Tuah bersama kawan karibnya, Tun Bendahara berduduk di bawah pokok menikmati teh tarik Mamak dan kuih Nyonya.

Tun Bendahara: Tuah, sepanjang malam aku tak tidur terfikir pasal si-Jebat tu. Tak terlantas aku kau sanggup membunuh dia.

Laksamana Tuah: Aiya Tun, lu tak faham lah. Kita mia olang cakap, manyak pantang kacau olang lain mia bini. Itu Jebat sudah... um... bo tua bo suey! Sultan mia gundik pun belani usik. Bikin malu keluarga Hang mia nama.

Tun Bendahara: Itu yang tak masuk akal, Tuah. Jebat tu kan adik kau sendiri? Kan orang putih cakap selalu cakap, "Blood is thicker than water"?

Laksamana Tuah: Adik da aanchua? Lu ingat jadi wa mia adik apa pun boleh bikin kah. Sekalang, wa bukan kerja sama sebalang olang tau. Wa mia bos, Sultan lah. Itu apa... belut... tikar...autar... olang putih mia cakap. Kita cakap, "Biar mati adik, jangan usik gundik!"

Tun Bendahara tidak berbalas. Beliau teringin sangat menegur Tuah pasal Bahasa Melayu Tuah yang cukup menyakitkan telinga, tetapi takut. Setiap kali si-pahlawan ini dipukau semangat patriotisme, dia suka hunus menjulang keris saktinya.

Laksamana Tuah: Woi Tun, wa cakap tak betui ah? Wa sudah lama tinggal sinilah. Kalau wa talak tolong jaga sama ini tempat, lu talak tolong jaga sama ini tempat - habis lah ini tempat.

Tun Bendahara: Kau takut apa, Tuah? Kalau musnah binasa Tanah Melayu ini, engkau masih boleh balik China.

Laksmana Tuah: Bukan balik tak balik mia pasal. Saya sudah lama duduk ini Tanah Melayu sampai sekalang saya pun sudah jadi olang Melayu mah.

Tun Bendahara: Eh, apa kau cakap tu, Tuah. Habis? Kalau tempat ini tukar nama jadi Malaysia, macam mana pulak?

Laksmana Tuah: Wa mah jadi olang Malaysia lah. Senang saja. Hahahaha! Wa sumpah sama lu, Tun, ta' Melayu hilang di dunia.

Tun Bendahara menjeling mata. Beliau sudah tidak tertahan dengan salahgunaan bahasa si-Cina ini. Kawalan pengunaan Bahasa Melayu Tuah cukup menyayatkan hati Tun. Tatabahasa silap. Peribahasa tak betul. Penggunaan pepatah Melayu pun salah. Imbuhan tak kena.

Tun Bendahara: Tuah, kau nak mengaku diri kau Melayu, aku tak kisah. Tapi, tolonglah bang, gunalah Bahasa Melayu yang tepat. Boleh tak? Apa ni, "Ta' Melayu hilang di dunia"? Cakap betul-betul - Tak akan hilang Melayu dari dunia ini!

Laksmana Tuah: Habis? Kalau ini tempat tukar nama jadi Malaysia apa macam? Hahahah!

Tun Bendahara: Maka kita katalah, "Tak akan hilang Malaysia dari dunia ini"! Hahah!

Laksmana Tuah: Wah, lu manyak pandai lah Tun. Okey, okey. Saya belanja lu makan Mi Goreng India. Mali, mali. Esok saya bawak Tun pigi tengok satu cun mia Puteli, atas gunung sana... Hahahahah....

Maka dengan adegan itu, tamatlah cerita cerita kita hari ini. Dua orang kuat Melaka ketawa terbahak-bahak di bawah teduh pokok Akasia ditebing muara, menanti akan pengembaraan mereka yang seterusnya, iaitu ke puncak Gunung Ledang. Cerita 18SX itu boleh diikuti di belog ini pada Hari Merdeka 2006. Sehingga berjumpa lagi tahun depan, Selamat Hari Merdeka dan terima kasut.

Nota Kaki: Untuk peminat teori konspirasi, sila ke laman ini. Yang lain-lain boleh ke laman ini. Kepada sesiapa yang tersinggung hati dengan belog ini, says ingin meminta maaf. Tolong hantar nama penuh dan alamat e-mel anda kepada saya dan saya akan menghantar Char Kuey Teow ke alamat e-mel anda. Kepada sesiapa yang tersinggung dengan pengawalan Bahasa Malaysia saya, sila tujukan kemarahan anda terhadap Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka. Ini semua diolang mia pasai kelana talak bikin kamus online.

KeranaMu - Puisi Menjelang Hari Merdeka

Wahai kengkawan, hayatilah puisi yang saya ingin menganugerah kepada anda. Ini dia, pantun menjelang Hari Merdeka:

KeranaMu Malaysia,
jantung hatiku,
dipenuhi kebangaan.

KeranaMu Malaysia,
aku akan berbelog,
Bahasa Kebangsaan.

KeranaMu Malaysia,
aku sanggup,
menulis puisi.

Kerana aku, Malaysia,
tak malu dan,
tak sedar diri.

Ini hanya satu percubaan sahaja. Esok ada lagi. Kalau anda Anak Malaysia yang ingin bermeriah berbelog dalam bahasa kebangsaan, lawatilah laman web Merdeka Blogger dan bikinlah apa yang perlu. Sekian, tiang kayu.

Soundly Sleeping

It's been over a year now and yet every time Jesse goes to bed, I still worry if he'd wake up again.

SIDS or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is a frightening prospect. So much so, I wake up 2-3 times a night just to check on him. Even though statistics show that kids are really only in danger of SIDS in their early days, I still get up to check. Force of habit, I guess. That couple with the information overload you get from parenting books. *sigh*

Some days, as if just to freak me out a little, the boy would sleep really still. I mean, really, really still. No movements. No sounds. Nothing.

That's when I'd prod him a little to check for reactions. Sometimes I'd lift up his arm and plop it back down. He'd move a little but would continue to sleep soundly. Heh! I bet I could lift both his hands to do the Macarena (I know how old this makes me sound, ok!) and he'd go back to sleep like nothing happened. I think I'll try that tonight. :)

The boy sleeps like a log. He gets this from his mother, I swear.

New Baby in the Family

a spanking new baby

There's a new addition to the family. Baby Danielle was born on Thurday, 25th August 2005 last week - just one day short of Jesse's first birthday. Baby Danielle is actually my Sis' and Bro-in-law's second kid, and 2-year-old Joshua Boy's little sister.

We visited them last week at the hospital. Having not held another infant since Jesse's birth, I took up my Sue's offer to carry her little girl. That's when Jesse kinda felt a little threatened. He gave me this sad puppy-dog face, reached out his arms and called out to me. "Deh-deeeeehh. Auwwaaaah!" It was the plaintive cry of desperate little boy. I taunted him a little before setting Baby Danielle down and taking him off Roma. Only a little, I promise. :)

Still, I thought that it was cute that he felt jealous. Ahhhh... there's nothing like a little jealousy to make you feel wanted. Hehhhehh...

Jesse's First Birthday

smile, and the world smiles with you

Exactly one year ago today, Jesse came into the world at 2:16 pm. Exactly one year ago, our little boy came into our world and turned it upside down. He filled our lives with laughter and tears. Our hearts with joy. Our home with love.

He woke up cheerful this morning to our birthday greetings. And we said a little prayer for him. In it, we thanked God for bringing him into our live. We thanked God for watching him and keeping him... erm... relatively safe from harm. And we prayed that God would be with him all of his life.

One year on, and Jesse still overwhelms me like he did that very first moment he popped out of Mae like a squished pimple. One year on, I still love watching him sleep and watching him wake up in the mornings. There's be days when he'd wake up happy, and others when he woke up crying - perhaps frightened by a bad dream, or disturbed by some discomfort. But everyday in his life, Mae and I always made sure he went to sleep with a smile on his face.

And if I could have one wish for his birthday today, I'd wish that he would go to bed happy and wake up with a smile on his face all the days of his life.

Happy 1st Birthday, son. May you have many, many happy birthdays to come.

Sleeping Like Logs

At 3:00 am this morning, Jesse woke up a little upset. He usually sleeps right through. Fortunately, all he needed was a diaper change.

I do the deed like a good Daddy should. Mommy gets the diaper and wipes. The boy struggles a little bit, crabby, for having his sleep disrupted. But in less than 2 minutes, we're done. And in a flash, Jesse falls back to sleep as if nothing had happened. The boy sleeps like a log. I pick him up and put him back in his crib - probably not as gently as I should have but no, he slept right through that too. I turn around and Mae is fast asleep as well.

"I can't sleep," I nudge Mae. Nothing.

"Let's have sex now," I whispered in her ear. Hehhehh. Somehow that always gets her attention. "Heheheh...awwwhoneyIwannasleep," she pleaded. "Goplaywithyourinternetorsomething..."

And so here I am, 5:30 am in the living room, wide awake blogging this and watching Oprah and Sidney Poitier talk about his first time being a daddy. Meanwhile, inside, mother and child are snoring away.

Heh. No prize for guessing where the boy picks up his sleeping habits.

Birthday Bash

Jesse turns one this Friday. As it goes, the rest of the family had been pestering us to throw a party. Mom would make a 3-hour trip for her first grandson's first birthday. Mae's parents insisted that we do something - with cake and camera and all that jazz. My siblings threatened to throw their own party if we didn't. Aunties offered to cook their specials. Uncles offered to help out. Can you believe it? All for a little kid who probably doesn't even understand what the fuss is all about.

The first birthday is a big, big, BIG thing where Chinese are concerned. Very big. Back in the olden days, they'd roast their finest pig and cook their fattest chicken just to mark the day. Neighbours and family members would come and celebrate a child's transition from baby to toddler. They'd pray to their gods and ancestors and make offerings of thanksgiving in appreciation of the child's good health. And parents had to observe all sorts of customs and taboos. These days, it's more of just celebrating and eating.

We took care of Mom early. A couple of weeks back in Taiping, we bought a nice ice-cream cake, sang the song and we all ate cake.

Last week, however, was a whole new kettle of fish. Despite our best effort to keep things small and simple, that was just not to be. Despite inviting only family we ended up with guest list of almost 40 people - Jesse's cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, granduncles and grandaunts. And with such a big crowd, Jesse got a little clingy. So there we were buying stuff, preparing food, serving guests and pacifying the little guy.

There were so much we wanted to do but were just simply overwhelmed by the magnitude of the kid's birthday. We would have liked to invite friends. We would have liked to have games for the kids. Heck, we would have like to have shot more photos. We were so busy we didn't even manage to snap some nice pictures. *sniff*

Next year we're going to McDonald's. *sigh*