Jesse loves water.
Which is fine, except that he's recently discovered that there's water to be found in the toilet bowl. Every morning, he'd wander into the john just to pull at the flush. This is fine, really. There's nothing cuter than a little boy flushing away mommy's poo-poo.
And then one day the temptation gets the better of him. He dips his hand in.
Even that I can handle. Really.
And then one day, the boy decides it might be fun to splash water around with Daddy's toothbrush.
And even that, I can handle. Except that Mommy thinks it's funny.
Now, I'm trying to convince him that Mommy's got a cooler toothbrush than Daddy.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
Easy-Peasy Pizza
Hey kiddies! Today, we learn how to make your very own pizza in a toaster oven. And you thought that toaster oven your Auntie Margaret gave you last Christmas was a piece of crap.
This is the Cheater's version, of course but it taste pretty good anyhoo. And when you're done you'll feel like the king of the world. Your parents will revere your culinary prowess. Men will worship the ground you walk on. Women will want to bear your children. And children will wish they came out of your loins!
Three items are essential for making pizza - the base, the sauce and the cheese. I use a Wholemeal Pita for the base. The shape is perfect and since it's pretty much bread, it'll cook easily. Buy these at Giant, or Tesco or any good hypermarket. For the sauce, buy one of those Spaghetti sauces in a jar. Since it's not sour or salty enough for pizza, you'll need to add tomato puree and a dash of salt. Everything else is just ingredient. For yesterday's dinner, I sliced up some sausages and browned them in a frying pan - don't hope for your toaster over to cook this. Lightly fry it first.
Add some tomatoes too. Dice them up and fry them in a pan. Same principle; the toaster oven just isn't gonna be able to cook this. Anyway I'd have preferred to slice them and sun-dry them but it was late and I was hungry. Heh! Next, you'll need cheese and it's gotta be Mozzarella for that rubbery, gooey texture. No two ways about it. Mozzarella. If you try my recipe with Cheddar or those sliced cheeses, I'll come there and smack you. Smear you sauce evenly on the base, scoop in your tomatoes and sprinkle on the Mozzarella generously.
Toast it in the oven for 5-ish minutes and you're all done. Feed it to your kid and watch him enjoy it. For yourself, sprinkle some McCormack's Pizza Seasoning and think of me fondly for showing you how to do this. *ahaks* Here's a recap of what you need:
There. It even looks like a real pizza. Someone please pat me on the back, dammit! :)
This is the Cheater's version, of course but it taste pretty good anyhoo. And when you're done you'll feel like the king of the world. Your parents will revere your culinary prowess. Men will worship the ground you walk on. Women will want to bear your children. And children will wish they came out of your loins!
Three items are essential for making pizza - the base, the sauce and the cheese. I use a Wholemeal Pita for the base. The shape is perfect and since it's pretty much bread, it'll cook easily. Buy these at Giant, or Tesco or any good hypermarket. For the sauce, buy one of those Spaghetti sauces in a jar. Since it's not sour or salty enough for pizza, you'll need to add tomato puree and a dash of salt. Everything else is just ingredient. For yesterday's dinner, I sliced up some sausages and browned them in a frying pan - don't hope for your toaster over to cook this. Lightly fry it first.
Add some tomatoes too. Dice them up and fry them in a pan. Same principle; the toaster oven just isn't gonna be able to cook this. Anyway I'd have preferred to slice them and sun-dry them but it was late and I was hungry. Heh! Next, you'll need cheese and it's gotta be Mozzarella for that rubbery, gooey texture. No two ways about it. Mozzarella. If you try my recipe with Cheddar or those sliced cheeses, I'll come there and smack you. Smear you sauce evenly on the base, scoop in your tomatoes and sprinkle on the Mozzarella generously.
Toast it in the oven for 5-ish minutes and you're all done. Feed it to your kid and watch him enjoy it. For yourself, sprinkle some McCormack's Pizza Seasoning and think of me fondly for showing you how to do this. *ahaks* Here's a recap of what you need:
One Toaster OvenThere are some rules. One, use ONLY Mozzarella. Two, NEVER, ever, never use Tomato Sauce cos it's sweet and your pizza will taste stupid. Three, lightly cook your ingredients cos a toaster oven just doesn't get hot enough!
Some Wholemeal Pita
A Jar of Spaghetti Sauce
A Can of Tomato Puree
A Dash of Salt
Tomatoes, Diced and Fried
Sausages, Sliced and Browned
Mozzarella Cheese
There. It even looks like a real pizza. Someone please pat me on the back, dammit! :)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Mama's Boy
poster boy for pizza parlors
Last week was Mother's Day and so Jesse brought Mommy to Italiannie's for some pizza and pasta. Pizza is Mae's favourite food, and evidently, also Jesse's.
The boy is at that stage in his life when mealtimes are like death sentences to him. He'll be kicking up a shitstorm and wailing his head off at the thought of having to eat real human food. At least that what Mae tells me. Apparently, Mommy and Kakak have been cooking the boy his food and he's been refusing to eat. But come Mother's Day at Italiannie's and the boy is stuffing his face with pizza.
I'm thinking maybe Mommy's cooking sucks eggs. Heh.
Monday, May 15, 2006
New Toy
boys nite out
I'm back! And I brought my new toy, a spanking new Nokia 6280. It's a great little phone with all the nifty features. A 2 MegaPixel camera, 3G, MP3 player, the works! This means I should to be showing more picture on this blog.
This shot of Jesse and his cousin Joshua-boy was taken at Tesco a couple of weeks back. That's Jesse's dopey haircut. For some reason, his hair takes forever to grow. So I guess he'll be looking like this for awhile. Poor kid.
That's it. I'm done showing off. See you tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Babytalking
"Ti-tock," Jesse would say every morning, which is his cute little way of saying, "Sit down". Mae and I had always made sure the boy was properly seated at the sofa before we'd switch on the TV. And for some reason, those words mean TV to him now. Yesterday, I told Mae I would try and get him to say "TV" instead.
"Television," Mae corrected me. "If the boy can't say TV," I reasoned, "he won't be able to say 'Television'."
Mae is anal about slangs. If she had her way, my poor little boy would grow up speaking weirdly. Imagine expressing yourself in proper words in the corporate world, "Fecal matter! This copulating facsimile is really urinating me off!" Loses quite a bit in the translation, doesn't it?
Anyway, Jesse is 20 months old today. Unfortunately his vocabulary doesn't extend beyond a handful of single-syllable proper words and a few babytalk words here and there. And no, despite trying all morning yesterday, he still can't say "TV". I'm really hoping he'll start speaking soon, if only to hear what he has to say about not talking. Heh!
And by the way, if you're one of those people who insist on not using babytalk to kids, you better not tell me I'm raising my kid wrong. Otherwise, I'm gonna come-come there and kick-kick you in the wee-wee!
"Television," Mae corrected me. "If the boy can't say TV," I reasoned, "he won't be able to say 'Television'."
Mae is anal about slangs. If she had her way, my poor little boy would grow up speaking weirdly. Imagine expressing yourself in proper words in the corporate world, "Fecal matter! This copulating facsimile is really urinating me off!" Loses quite a bit in the translation, doesn't it?
Anyway, Jesse is 20 months old today. Unfortunately his vocabulary doesn't extend beyond a handful of single-syllable proper words and a few babytalk words here and there. And no, despite trying all morning yesterday, he still can't say "TV". I'm really hoping he'll start speaking soon, if only to hear what he has to say about not talking. Heh!
And by the way, if you're one of those people who insist on not using babytalk to kids, you better not tell me I'm raising my kid wrong. Otherwise, I'm gonna come-come there and kick-kick you in the wee-wee!
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Updating: In Short
I'm back. It's been a hectic month and I've been working like a dog. Meanwhile, here's a little update:
GRANDMA GONE
My paternal grandmother passed on last week. We weren't terribly close, but it still sucks when a relative goes. Because you always wonder who's next. We cremated her very quickly and it was over in less than a day.
WORK WORK WORK
I'm up to my eyeballs in work. Work has always played a big part in my life. When I was younger, it was a means of survival. When I got older and work got better, it paid the bills and afforded a little luxury. There was also a point in my life when work was an escape. When the girlfriend was being a bitch, I went back to work at nights. Hahaha! These days, work is just work and work is beginning to suck.
JESSE'S HAIRCUT
We got Jesse a haircut at the salon and the hairdresser took a little too much off. Now my kid looks like Forrest Gump. Sometimes I'd go "Run, Forrest, run!" and guess what - the boy actually runs. It cracks me up!
GENTING AGAIN
Jesse's cousin Joshua is celebrating his 3rd birthday and his parents are throwing a party up in Genting this weekend. It ought to be fun for the kids. I expect the adults might want to go to the Casino tonight but that's never a good idea for me. I suck at gambling and once I get into it, I lose myself and my wallet.
FLAT BATTERIES
The battery ran out on the new wife. I was working late one night and when I left at 3-ish in the morning, the damn car wouldn't start. I knew I needed a new battery but I was so busy at work I did not have time to do even this simple errand. I left the car sitting idle at the parking lot for three days.
LAZY
Some days I feel like shit and think that I hate my life. Fortunately I'm too lazy to do anything about it, like kill myself or something. Hahahah! Thank God for small miracles.
GRANDMA GONE
My paternal grandmother passed on last week. We weren't terribly close, but it still sucks when a relative goes. Because you always wonder who's next. We cremated her very quickly and it was over in less than a day.
WORK WORK WORK
I'm up to my eyeballs in work. Work has always played a big part in my life. When I was younger, it was a means of survival. When I got older and work got better, it paid the bills and afforded a little luxury. There was also a point in my life when work was an escape. When the girlfriend was being a bitch, I went back to work at nights. Hahaha! These days, work is just work and work is beginning to suck.
JESSE'S HAIRCUT
We got Jesse a haircut at the salon and the hairdresser took a little too much off. Now my kid looks like Forrest Gump. Sometimes I'd go "Run, Forrest, run!" and guess what - the boy actually runs. It cracks me up!
GENTING AGAIN
Jesse's cousin Joshua is celebrating his 3rd birthday and his parents are throwing a party up in Genting this weekend. It ought to be fun for the kids. I expect the adults might want to go to the Casino tonight but that's never a good idea for me. I suck at gambling and once I get into it, I lose myself and my wallet.
FLAT BATTERIES
The battery ran out on the new wife. I was working late one night and when I left at 3-ish in the morning, the damn car wouldn't start. I knew I needed a new battery but I was so busy at work I did not have time to do even this simple errand. I left the car sitting idle at the parking lot for three days.
LAZY
Some days I feel like shit and think that I hate my life. Fortunately I'm too lazy to do anything about it, like kill myself or something. Hahahah! Thank God for small miracles.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Rainy Day
We were all at Mae's folk's house on Saturday when it started raining. It got pretty heavy pretty quickly so we dismissed any plans to go out. Since I was already horizontal on the sofa, staying home was fine by me.
Jesse got a little restless and started clambering all over me, when suddenly lightning struck and a loud mother-of-all thunderclaps shook the earth. A brilliant flash of light ensued and outside, debris was flying about. And the lights went out/
That got the boy's attention and he perked up quickly enough. I hurried towards him in case the thunder was too traumatic for his young little heart. But no. Just like Daddy, Jesse is one tough little mo-fo!! Heh. Lighting had struck off a part of the roof and my boy was unfazed.
After the thunder and lightning eased up, we took off our shirts and played outside in the drizzle. Jesse held his hand out for the rain, splashed about in the puddles and played with drainwater. He loved it - squealing and screaming at this new experience.
Inside, I could sense my mother-in-law rolling her eyes right to the back of her head. But it didn't matter. I played in the rain most of my childhood and look what a fine young man I turned out to be. *ahem* Thankfully, the boy didn't catch a cold or I'll be hearing about it for the rest of my life.
Jesse got a little restless and started clambering all over me, when suddenly lightning struck and a loud mother-of-all thunderclaps shook the earth. A brilliant flash of light ensued and outside, debris was flying about. And the lights went out/
That got the boy's attention and he perked up quickly enough. I hurried towards him in case the thunder was too traumatic for his young little heart. But no. Just like Daddy, Jesse is one tough little mo-fo!! Heh. Lighting had struck off a part of the roof and my boy was unfazed.
After the thunder and lightning eased up, we took off our shirts and played outside in the drizzle. Jesse held his hand out for the rain, splashed about in the puddles and played with drainwater. He loved it - squealing and screaming at this new experience.
Inside, I could sense my mother-in-law rolling her eyes right to the back of her head. But it didn't matter. I played in the rain most of my childhood and look what a fine young man I turned out to be. *ahem* Thankfully, the boy didn't catch a cold or I'll be hearing about it for the rest of my life.
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