Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Police State

Three years on and I'm turning out to be a shitty father.

Jesse is a good kid, by my standards. (Which isn't saying much, since I have always had plenty of tolerance for kids.) He doesn't demand for stuff, throw a tantrum in public, or behave like a little A-hole when he doesn't get his way. In fact, he's usually obedient and quite the charming kid. But that's all out the window when it comes to eating, and sometimes, school.

"If you don't eat your lunch," I'd threaten, "the police will come and catch you!"

Right about then, he'd usually look over his shoulder suspiciously, to make sure there are no cops about, afterwhich, he'd proceed to eat like a normal human being. It works for days when he doesn't want to go to school. He'd be crying and throwing a fit. Until his impending arrest.

"If you don't go to school," I'd tell him, "the police will come and catch you!"

And instantaneously, whiny-boy becomes shiny-boy.

When Jesse was still swimming about in Mae's womb, I told myself that I'd never use frighten my boy into submission. But three short years later, I'm breaking my word over and over. *sigh* Worst of all, it's so bloody effective I'll probably use it again and again. The way I see it, he'll probably grow up to hate me for it. Or he'll start slipping me fifty Ringgit notes to look the other way.

I'm sorry, son. Daddy loves you too much to yell at you. Not when all I want is for you to eat well and have a good education.


  1. Jesse made me do it

  2. If you do it again, the police will come and catch you!
    And the ACA will be right behind them, so no hanky panky, young man....

  3. Now you teach your kid to hate cops?!?

  4. I hear yer.. we have the same problem with the brat's food too..!! she drives me nuts.. just to get her to eat.. !! CONGEE .. !!! also cannot eat..!!
    *slap forehead*

  5. lol that's like bogeyman..
    He's gonna grow up being afraid of cops. Might work for you in the sense that he won't speed, won't do drugs in clubs...etc.
    What about showing him photos of horrible holes in stomachs(gastric ulcers) telling him how hungry people get holes in their stomach?
    And as for school..bring him to Puduraya or Petaling Street..show him the beggars (or go Thailand for the really dramatic ones) and say that "if you don't go to school, you won't be able to get a good job and you will end up like these people!"
    maybe i'll try that on my kids next time..:) enjoy ur trip in bali if ur not back already!

  6. At home here.. it's the same thing also.. even worse.. we are racist when it comes to scaring the kids.

  7. I think all of kena like that.. that's why we are so scared of police.. esp when speeding, beating the lights, talking on hphone and driving, jaywalking, etc etc..
    btw.. link to my wedding photos..

  8. Husband: LOL!
    Well, Fanboy, I've never personally met a cop I liked... so...
    MamaBok, maybe you should have her arrested. :lol:
    Heheeh... we tried that too, Jayelle.
    Yeah Gina, bloody Chinese parents love that shit. I hope some Indian people are telling their kids, "Nanti itu Cinakui mari tangkap awak!" We'd deserve it.
    Nice pix, Paul!

  9. ha ha..mine is.. I'll take the scissors n chop ur eyes/ears/mouth..if u don't... [whatever]..
    u gotta do what u gotta do. he'll do it to his own kids next time...no worries!

  10. Hmm... that's scary, MOTT. Better hope your kids never decide to enforce mommy's law on their siblings! :o