Strawberry Jam

red alert!

Jesse's got this huge red spot on his torso, the size of a 50 sen coin. When I first saw it in the delivery room, it freaked me out a little and all of my grandma's taboo stories came back to me. We Chinese folks have taboos for everything and a child's birth defects were usually a result of his parents indiscretions.

"Oh, that's a Strawberry Naevus," the doctor told me, "It'll be gone in a few years." She took a look at my pathetic, worried face and added, "Don't worry-lah!"

Turns out that Strawberry Naevus is a fairly common occurrence. It's a cluster of blood vessels gone wrong - sort of like a rebellion of the circulatory system. It's not permanent nor painful, but it is a little unsightly though. Especially if you've got one as big as Jesse's. Also, apparently 60% of the condition usually effects the face and neck. Thank God Jesse's strawberry grew on his torso instead.
So yeah, when Jesse came out into the world, he brought his own fruit. Heh. Sort of like a welcome gift for his parents. Thankfully, he didn't consider a fruit basket. Anyway, as promised, it's started to fade a little already. Our paediatrician tells us that it ought to be gone by the time Jesse turns 4 or 5.

*phew*

Big Is NOT Beautiful!

CAUTION: POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS AHEAD!!!

I've been thinking. When I tell some people I'm trying to lose weight, they tell me, "You should love yourself for who you are." For some reason, I also notice that these people are usually fat. Coincidence?

I'm a fat guy, I'll make no bones (pun not intended) about it. But I refuse to accept that I should be confined to this gargantuan body for the rest of my life. I also refuse to accept that I look good as a fat guy. Now don't get me wrong, some fat people DO look really good. Like Queen Latifah. Hot woman in a big body. But tell me the truth; do you really think that she'd look less appealing if she slimmed down to, say, Halle Berry proportions?

Women magazines seem to be pushing the "Big is Beautiful" thing. They say it puts undue pressure on girl to stay skinny, and gives rise to dangerous eating disorders such as Anorexia and Bulimia. And every time a celebrity puts on weight, they'd applaud her and say she's a good role model. Feh! Come on, aside from Karen Carpenter, how many people actually die from being thin? On the other hand, fat people are at risk from all kinds of things - cardiovascular diseases, hypertension, stroke, diabetes and a whole bunch of cancer specially dedicated to the fatties.

Women magazines have become such patronising drivel. If I weren't trying to understand women or their silly little conspiracies, I wouldn't even bother reading them. Heh! I'm kidding, I promise.

So yeah, back to being fat. I'm fat, but I don't wanna be. If you're fat and you love the way you look and feel, then fine. But if you think you would do better, look better and feel better being thin, then stop making bloody excuses and stop lying to yourself. If you think you're hot even though you're fat, trust me, you'll be a whole lot hotter when you're thin.

I lost 5 kgs in the first month that I started eating sensibly and exercising. The following month, I lost only 1 kg. Now, I hardly exercise and I'm back to my old eating habits. *sigh*Time to get off my lazy ass and hit the gym again.

The Damn Haze is Back

I woke up this morning, and looked out the window. What a beautiful misty morning it was.

Wait. There's no such thing as a beautiful misty morning in Kepong. I opened the window. I took in a whiff. Yes. It's back; our old nemesis, the haze. Visibility is probably some 700m - probably an API of 150 or thereabouts. I don't know what's scarier, the haze or that I have become quite familiar with it. *sigh*

We're doomed.

UPDATE 7:32am: There's seems to be no update anywhere - not on The Star and not on PPS. Am I dreaming this up, and perhaps blogging in my sleep? I'm closing back the windows and going back to sleep.

Mommy Who?

Jesse has learnt to say Mommy. Not Mama or Meh-Meh, but Mommy - and properly enunciated at all the right places too. So, occasionally, he'll look up at Mae and just call out to her, "Mommy, mommy!"

This morning, the boy woke up on the wrong side of bed - at 6:30 am, mind you. It took awhile for Mae and I to pacify him. Finally, I brought him out to the living room and played with him a little, if only to give Mae and extra hour of sleep.

He felt a little better after 15 minutes of quality Daddy Entertainment. And then Roma, our Domestic Management Assistant, walked in. As she did, he lifted up both his arms to her, gave her one of his effective puppy-dog expressions and called out, "Mommy!"

*gasp*

And suddenly, flashbacks of "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle" plays over in my mind, like a dark cloud of despair looming over me! Was Roma slowly replacing us in Jesse's heart? Was our child being hijacked away from us? Is she secretly feeding him some twisted propaganda!? What!??!?!...

"No, Jesse," she gently replies in her newly acquired English vocabulary, "It's Kakak." She turns to smile sheepishly at me, somewhat embarassed by the incident. Yet, it was a little disconcerting, that smile. It was as though behind the flashy, pearly whites hides a sinister little secret seething with conspiracy. *ulp*

Mae and I had better be on our toes.

Elvis Lives!

he's aliiiiiive!!!!

28 years ago, today, Elvis Presley was found dead in his Graceland Mansion in Memphis, Tennessee. He was only 42.

Elvis was a pretty big feature in my family. We all grew up loving his music. Dad, Mom, Stepmom, Jeff, Steve, Sue and I loved Elvis. Jo, however, was not a fan. She's more of a dumbass. Heh! But more on that some other day.

A week ago, we staged a little Elvis action in our church. I wrote the script with Chris with help from Julia. For the finale, a tender moment when John the Elvis impersonator sang to his wife, I chose the song, "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me." Mae didn't like it. Instead, she suggested "Always On My Mind." The audience loved it, thanks to my clever little wife.

Elvis would have been 70 today; which may not necessarily have been the best thing. See Bubba Ho-Tep if you don't believe me! Hehhheh. So yeah, he's gone but his music lives on. At least in my family. :)

Check out some backstage shots, here, here and here.

Whither Art Thou, Taiping?

doc old Taiping

We were in Taiping over the weekend to escape the haze. By now, you would have known how that went. Damn haze followed us home. *sigh* Fortunately, Taiping wasn't too bad. But this entry isn't about haze. It's about Taiping.

I grew up in this little town. Life was pretty laidback and fairly carefree. But like most teenagers, my youthful exuberance for life on the fast lane left me quite restless. Like my peers, I was quickly tempted by the bright lights of the big city. KL was such an attraction, but heck, I'd even settle for Ipoh. Why couldn't Taiping ever be a city? Why couldn't we have more departmental stores instead of the old bazaars? It seemed that progress would always elude our little neck o' the woods.
Today, 17 years after I left for KL Taiping, it seems, has finally come of age. Right here in my neighbourhood, where Kedai Gunting Rambut Rajoo used to be, a 7-11 is opening shop.

Some 20 years ago, KFC came to town. Before that, the closest thing to a fast-food in Taiping was a McDota Fried Chicken outlet. I bet no one even remembers McDota. Anyway, KFC would be the only fast food outlet for many years. Some 10 years later, McDonald's set up shop. And Taiping folks lapped up their Big Macs and Hot Fudge Sundaes. Where were you when I needed you most? Imagine being a teenager in love and not having a local McDonald's to go on dates. Hmph!

Soon after, other chains came to town. Today we have a Popular Bookstore, a Pizza Hut and now, a 7-11. Heck, we even have Nasi Kandar shops, Mamak stalls and numerous cafe serving Western cuisine. Air conditioned snooker centers are mushrooming around the town. And lately, Taipingites have caught the bowling bug. So, yes, Taiping is soon becoming a mini Metropolitan.
It's ironic how Taiping is becoming the kind of place I dreamt of as a youth. But now that I have spent so many years in KL, I long to return to that Taiping I once knew. A place where we once ate curry mee along the 5-foot way of old Victorian shophouses. A place where our neighbourhood grocer used to deliver our perishables and even stopped by for a cup of coffee. A place where they gambled on fighting fishes and rainfall at the coffee shops.

I miss my Taiping. *sigh*

Animal Children

I've been thinking. Apparently, more and more girls are named Joey these days. Joey, in case you didn't know, used to be a boy's name. Short for Joel. Which is a funny statement in itself since both are 4 letters long. But I digress.

So now we have boys and girls named Joey. But hey, did you also know that a baby kangaroo is also a joey? Which brings me to my next point. When Joey grows up, can we call her Kangaroo? Hehh.

How about Kid and Kit? Do these guys grow up to be Goat and Fox? What about Pinkie? Does she ever grow up to be Mouse? And don't forget Colt. He might someday grow up to be Horse. Or worse yet, Donkey. And who can forget the great western sharp-shooter, Billy the Kid? Did he ever grow up to be Goat the Goat? Hehhheh...

Okay, that was a lame Friday evening post. Apologies to Joey, Kid, Kit, Pinkie and Colt.