Easy-Peasy Pizza

Hey kiddies! Today, we learn how to make your very own pizza in a toaster oven. And you thought that toaster oven your Auntie Margaret gave you last Christmas was a piece of crap.

This is the Cheater's version, of course but it taste pretty good anyhoo. And when you're done you'll feel like the king of the world. Your parents will revere your culinary prowess. Men will worship the ground you walk on. Women will want to bear your children. And children will wish they came out of your loins!


Three items are essential for making pizza - the base, the sauce and the cheese. I use a Wholemeal Pita for the base. The shape is perfect and since it's pretty much bread, it'll cook easily. Buy these at Giant, or Tesco or any good hypermarket. For the sauce, buy one of those Spaghetti sauces in a jar. Since it's not sour or salty enough for pizza, you'll need to add tomato puree and a dash of salt. Everything else is just ingredient. For yesterday's dinner, I sliced up some sausages and browned them in a frying pan - don't hope for your toaster over to cook this. Lightly fry it first.


Add some tomatoes too. Dice them up and fry them in a pan. Same principle; the toaster oven just isn't gonna be able to cook this. Anyway I'd have preferred to slice them and sun-dry them but it was late and I was hungry. Heh! Next, you'll need cheese and it's gotta be Mozzarella for that rubbery, gooey texture. No two ways about it. Mozzarella. If you try my recipe with Cheddar or those sliced cheeses, I'll come there and smack you. Smear you sauce evenly on the base, scoop in your tomatoes and sprinkle on the Mozzarella generously.


Toast it in the oven for 5-ish minutes and you're all done. Feed it to your kid and watch him enjoy it. For yourself, sprinkle some McCormack's Pizza Seasoning and think of me fondly for showing you how to do this. *ahaks* Here's a recap of what you need:

One Toaster Oven
Some Wholemeal Pita
A Jar of Spaghetti Sauce
A Can of Tomato Puree
A Dash of Salt
Tomatoes, Diced and Fried
Sausages, Sliced and Browned
Mozzarella Cheese

There are some rules. One, use ONLY Mozzarella. Two, NEVER, ever, never use Tomato Sauce cos it's sweet and your pizza will taste stupid. Three, lightly cook your ingredients cos a toaster oven just doesn't get hot enough!


There. It even looks like a real pizza. Someone please pat me on the back, dammit! :)