Girly Shoes

these boots are made for sashaying

"NooOOoOoOoOoOoooOo!!!!" we shrieked in horror as the world came to its devastating end. It was a natural disaster like no other. As we struggled to grasp the terrifying spectacle before us, we wondered where we had gone wrong.

Our boy likes girly shoes.

Jesse had been walking funny in his spanking new discounted Baby Zaras. "He must be uncomfortable in them," Mae observed. That's Mae for you - always trying to fix things. As far as I was concerned, the boy walks funny to entertain us. But no, Mae had to do something. And so we headed to the shoe shop.

I had picked up this cute but masculine macho-boy faux-leather loafer for the boy. Mae was looking at a more sporty Nike knock-off. But alas, little Jesse had other plans. We had left the boy on this own to do his thing and it turned out to be the biggest mistake. The moment we set him loose in the shoe shop, he had set his sights on the little white Hello Kitty booties.

The whole scene played out in slo-mo like some cheap, B-grade movie starring overweight and balding has-been, Richard Grieco and the still comely but long-forgotten Heather Thomas. "NooOoooOoooooooO JeesSssSssee, noOooOottt the whiiiiiiiiiiite giiirRRrrllly shhoOoooOoooes," her voice warbled like a walkman on old batteries as she lunged in slow motion to stop him. The boy reached out, grabbed the shoe, threw it on the ground and started forcing his feet in. It was the longest 2 minutes of our lives.

We coaxed him. We reasoned with him. We even threatened to put him up for adoption in Cambodia but the boy was unfazed. It was Hello Kitty or hello barefeet. *sigh* So no, we didn't buy any shoe that weekend. Everything else that we attempted to put on his feet would have him screeching like a monkey under torture.

First he likes pink and now he likes girly shoes. I'm starting to worry a little.