A couple of days ago, a neighbour in Block B of my apartment building jumped off the balcony of his fourth floor unit. Neighbours say he came home, got into a shouting match with his wife and decided he has had enough.
"Sometimes when you nag me, I just wanna slit my wrist and end it all," I told Mae once. Of course I was being an asshole at the time for saying that, but maybe a small part of me meant it.
I hate confrontations with the wife. And I think a lot of men share this sentiment. Having the wife nag you incessantly can really be a fate worse than death. This, I mean as a figure of speech, but unfortunately some men take it literally.
When we married, I imagined a life of bliss and eternal happiness - Mae whispering sweet nothings in my ear, smiling sweetly with every word that proceeds from her mouth. And then reality bites you in the ass.
It takes a lot to make a marriage work. When a husband and a wife get into a shouting match, here's an advice for the guys: shut up, or you'll just make things worse. As for the girls, hey, you too can shut up. Try it, it works.
Anyway, the couple were in their early 30s. I'm pretty sure whatever the wife might have said, she'll probably regret it all her life. As for the guy, if he had just turned around and gave the wife a big fat hug instead, perhaps things may have turned out very differently.
ah..hard to say la.
ReplyDeleteif we listen, we didn't have to repeat ourselves eh?
sigh...sorry to hear abt this.
Scary man, like that also can? I mean the man jumping over a nagging wife? Abuden, I don't nag, I give the silent treatment. I don't know which is worse. Hehehe.
ReplyDeleteWahh. Fourth floor only wor. Like that also can "go"?
ReplyDeleteRelationship is not about sunshine, air and I love yous. Those things are free. Yes, when reality bites you in the arse while u are daydreaming about your ideal relationship and how ur life with ur partner would be like, it is a whole pile of doodoo. Things are not easy. What traits you found endearing before, after a while can be annoying. Love is blind, they say, but marriage is an eye opener.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a lot to swallow your pride, just sucking it in sometimes makes you really burn. Talking about it is fine, once or twice. But if its the third time, its either you accept that the person is memang like that cannot change, or that person memang degil dont want to listen. It'll never end.
Things would have turned out differently if he'd just turn around and give her a hug. But the thing is, hor, most guys really dont know how to "pujuk" the girls. Its always their ego talk that makes everything hailat.com. Us with the b00bs are not the easiest people to deal with, and guys dont make it easier either. If only they can swap places to know what it feels like to be each other for one day, i think couples would understand each other better.
You know what? For once, 'SHUT UP' is actually useful advice... Thanks for making me see it that way...now to work on application. =D
ReplyDeleteI agree...
ReplyDeleteWow, that is a very severe and permanent reaction to a perhaps-not-so-temporary situation. Sometimes, I wonder if any of my behaviours irk others around me, esp. my loved ones, without me knowing about it.
ReplyDeleteAnd if it means enough, I'd probably change, no joke. Better than having a loved one jump off the roof/balcony, surely...
And yes, I've tried shutting up myself a few times, and it works, mostly cos then I actually have to listen and most times, I'm wrong! Even if I'm not, at least I'd be able to state my points in a calmer manner...
OMG!! Reminds me of the case where the husband killed the kids before killing himself after an argument with the wife (the wife left the condo).
ReplyDeleteWhat I have learnt from my 10 years of marriage is that there is no room for pride in a marriage. No matter who is right, who is wrong, at the end of the day love and harmony is all that matters. So if I have to suck up my pride and say 'I'm sorry, I love you', I will do it in a heartbeat!
Shit man.. I don't think I wanna stay in high rise building. First, someone got murdered. Now, someone jumped off. Or maybe the husband owe ah long money and that is why the wife nagged at him? We might not know. But killing oneself is an act of cowardice.
ReplyDeleteOn behalf of Mae, if you want to kill yourself, do it after one year of buying a huge sum of insurance. LOL.
i guess sometimes hor... it's the ones that you loved that is capable to hurt you most...
ReplyDeleteIn any marriage.. it is an uphill task. Alot of nagging is not good.. but then hor.. sometimes men can be quite an asshole..! sometimes they donch think too. But the women .. like me.. can be real anal too.. ! so it's a give and take all the time.. in our marriage.. otherwise.. both PB and I jumped many times over already lor.
ReplyDeleteLearn to play deaf, mute and blind are the keys to good marriages.
A newly married couple, husband sets out d rules for his : must prepare dinner every morning, must have dinner ready by time he gets home, his pants must be always be properly pressed, dun nag when he goes out with frens etc etc etc.... then d wife in turn only need to set out ONE rule : SEX AT 7PM, whether u r home or not :)..
ReplyDeleteDear Ladies, moral of d story is, you dun have to nag, just have to be wise with your words :)
Erm... repeating is fun, MOTT?
ReplyDeleteSilent, of course, Lilian. Dunno whether to jump or not...
Tiramisu: Depends on how you land, I guess.
I hope you dun mean cross-dressing, Amy-Zing!
The application is the tricky part, no, Fanboy?
:) Stranger!
Good for you Kenny.
Yah Kat, that was a terrible case, killing the kids and all.
Gina you ass, insurance don't pay for suicide. So stop trying to drive me off the edge!
Indeed, Duckie.
Yeah, MamaBok... but dun play dead.
Good plan, Miko.
I'm soon to be married..
ReplyDeleteEven going thru the PMC... I still wonder till today what are a woman's expectations.? ANd perhaps we never will eh?
I must say for myself that if a man learns to be more sensitive to inquire what a woman wants and a woman says exactly what she needs and reveals what she's thinking... there'd be more peace..
*sigh*
This post has just made me even more adamant to never settle down. But then again, marriage is never easy work, I believe. The poor guy could have sorted things out than to have jumped. He probably had other problems lined up in his life as well.
ReplyDeleteMay his soul rest in peace.
Yikes! Too many deaths around. Sigh. I hope I'm not a nagger next time when and if I get married. My mum is one and it's irritating. I hope I don't be like her. Dad must have been real patient. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteYes, they do. After one year.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... sometimes a cold war might be better than a words war that ends this way. Its so sad and tragic.
ReplyDeleteWhoa Paulos! Congrats, dude.
ReplyDeleteDon't let stories like that scare you RaZZie. Marriage can be wonderful if you make it that way.
:lol: Primrose, what a thing to say about mommy.
Hahah Gina. Don't go giving Mae any ideas.
Yea, Mumsgather. But some ppl just can't handle a confrontation.