I'm not a terribly brand-conscious person when it comes to fashion and apparel. For that matter, as many who know me will testify, I'm not terribly fashion-conscious too. But, that's another story for another day.
Today, we discuss jeans.
Now, for as long as I have lived, Levi's are the preferred choice for jeans - or at least that's the propaganda I have been exposed to. Levi's are better. Levi's are well made. Levi's last longer. Levi's makes your ass look better, even for fat guys like me. It comes to a point where you don't even fight it anymore.
Until last weekend. Last weekend I decided to go against the grain. Let the lemmings wear their Levi's, I thought to myself. Me, I was gonna revolutionise my wardrobe. And so I strutted to Malaysia's favourite surplus store, F.O.S., grabbed a pair of jeans off the rack and headed for the fitting room.
I put on the new RM 39.90 jeans and whaddya know, I looked mighty fine (by my own limited standards, of course). I turned around to check out the back in the mirror when my whole world goes to hell.
There in the mirror staring back at me, was my ass, thirty years into the future. To get an idea what that looks like, go check out some 60-year old guy's butt and you'll know. Y'know the ones whose cheeks sag like a bulldog's.
Who the hell makes jeans like that?
I was so traumatised that all the way home, I has to seek constant validation from Mae on the age of my ass. "No, you don't have an old man's ass". "Are you sure?" "Yessssss-lah!"
Man. I'm never tucking in my shirt ever again.