Friday, March 27, 2009

Motherparker

This is a long, whiny one!

On Wednesday, I had a presentation to do at the client's. It was 2:30pm and I had a half hour to make it there, so it was all good. But when I got to my car, someone had double parked behind me.

Now, anyone who's ever been to Damansara Perdana will tell you that parking is a nightmare. There is so little space here that people double park. But we have an unwritten understanding about this; you park behind someone, you leave your number or a namecard.

I called the number on the dashboard. No answer. I called again. Still nothing. At this point, I was getting a little annoyed. Don't block someone's car if you're got gonna pick up the phone. And then suddenly I got an answer.

"Could you move your car please," I asked, trying my best not to sound irritated. I had always thought it best to be cordial in any situation. Unfortunately, the bitch on the other end of the line had other ideas. "Hmmph!," she grunted rudely, as though I had inconvenienced her. And with that, she hung up.

Fine. As long as she's coming to get her car. I thought.

10 minutes later, I was still there, my car still blocked. So I called her again, intending to give her a piece of my mind. No answer. I called again. And again. And again. By then I was seething. And I was gonna be late for my appointment. I got my colleagues to call. Same result. I SMSed her. No reply.

"I dunno what your problem is... but you're blocking my car and I need to leave," the next message said. Still nothing. By then a half hour had passed. I pressed on the horn incessantly, until passers-by stopped to offer me advice. I told them the situation.

"Smash her window," someone said. "Scratch her car," another advised. "Get a towtruck," still another said. It was all tempting, but I was never the violent sort. And so I waited. Another hour passed. More calls. More SMSes, and still nothing.

"Go ahead and do the presentation," I told my colleague who was waiting for me at the client's. I wasn't getting anywhere and my blood was boiling. Sure, I could have just gone back up to my office and chill out, but I didn't want to miss seeing this bitch face-to-face just so I can scream at her.

In the meantime, I see suspicious characters coming out of my office building, pretending to look around, and then turning to look at her car. I could only assume that perhaps these guys were her colleagues sent to check if the coast was clear, and if she could safely move her car without anyone yelling at her. I was now even more determined to see this woman!

Finally, my cousin suggested I call the municipal council. Apparently, they can bring a tow-truck around and deal with the problem. Unfortunately, however, it was storming in PJ and the trucks were pretty much grounded that day. But the nice lady at MBPJ offered to call the errant owner of the vehicle that was blocking mine.

It was 5pm and I had waited a full 2 and a half hours. I wasn't leaving without a fight.

The call to MBPJ must have worked. She calls me and puts on this fake apology crap, "Am I blocking your car? I'm sorry... sorry!" But I was having none of her shit. "Just get down here and move your car now!" I screamed into the phone.

She comes along some 2 minutes later, and I finally see this thorn in my side. She had one of those wannabe-high-society-arrogant-and-bitchy-datin-looks, the kind of face that had been fattened and pampered by kickbacks and corruption... well, you know the type. Although this one drove a Proton Persona. She looked so hateful (probably not her fault if she was born that way), and that just drove my anger into overdrive!

"What the hell were you thinking!?!?" I yelled, my face convoluted into what was probably a horrible sight to behold. (Not that I'm the hallmark of beauty, but you know what I mean.)

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she pleaded. "I was in a meeting and I didn't have my phone!" She had the cheek to lie, despite the fact that she actually answered my call much earlier on.

"BULLSHIT!!!" I screamed into her face. "You bloody answered my call but you just REFUSED to come down! I've been waiting for you for THREE BLOODY HOURS!!!"

At that juncture, she was still trying to weasel her way out of with some bullshit story or other, sounding all whiny and snivelly which served only to further aggravate me. I was having none of that.

"Move your *bleep* car now!" I yelled. I dun like yelling profanities at a woman. I had told myself before she came down to refrain from calling her "bitch" in her face, and to omit any f-words I might be thinking about. But in the heat of the moment, I just lost it. I felt a little bad about it even as I said it, but I had a... erm... momentum to maintain. Oh well. Can't say she didn't deserve it.

As she struggled to open her door, I gave her one last good one.

"Don't you EVER park behind my car!!!" I snarled, "YOU UNDERSTAND!?!?" She drove off in a hurry. And that was that.

I would have been a lot more gracious if this had been an honest mistake, if she had really left her phone somewhere else. But this piece of shit actually answered my call. She grunted very rudely when I asked her to move her car, and that in itself is not acceptable. And to top it off, she made me wait almost 3 hours.

People like that must never reproduce.

30 comments:

  1. fulamak... 3 hours? You are a better man than me :P

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  2. you should have scratched her car

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  3. damn .
    damn u damn fucking patient ..
    i would have smashed her window and push the car to the middle of the road ...

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  4. wah lau i feel so angry on ur behalf
    what a bloody waste of time
    i'd call the cops :D

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  5. Yeah, scratch the car on the hood with the written mesasge, "Don't ever double park if you don't want to move your car!"
    Hehe.

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  6. stupid people should never double park. poor u.

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  7. wah..my blood aso boil. Yea...Dsara Perdana parking is like crapshit. I wuda shouted at her colleagues. I wuda caused a freaking scene. I wuda gone to every office and be a real dramamama...
    I wuda shouted profanities. Even if it were a man.

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  8. ..sad to say, i have no more dignity left in me.. ever since i opened my legs wide open for the world to see..and for 3 babies to come out.
    heh..that's why i wuda done all that.

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  9. You're such a wuss, James.
    If it had been just 30 mins, I would have let the air out of ALL her tires already. Or I would have walked up to the office and asked around for the owner of the car. If I suspected she was in and din want to come out, I'd have told anyone who cared to hear, in a loud voice about how inconsiderate and stupid she was.
    Oh, but then I'm a real bitch about such things.

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  10. I think you are mother theresa liao.. waiting for 3 hours and didn't smash her windscreen.
    What happened to me was this idiot, also double parked behind my car. It was a rainy day and a few days before CNY. If he wanna pick up things, pls do it in 10 mins, then I would forgive him.
    I waited 30 mins for this idiot. Then the security guard pushed his car till the alarm went off. Nothing. Then, he pushed again to set off the alarm.
    When he came, he still nicely took his time and walked slowly then had the cheek to tell me off. "Now is CNY mah. Why are you so mad?'
    MA CHI BAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
    I terus said to his face - CNY or not, dunno why got such stupid people in this world!
    Then he wanna beat me up, then the security guard stopped him.

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  11. wah, you so good ler, if i'm u, properly will put shit on her window ler, kiki

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  12. Reading this making me pissed on your behalf. Such a bitch. She ought to be shot dead!

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  13. Next time you see her car, double park in front of it for 6 hours. Siao one! Anyone who wants to double park should not do it for more than 5 at the most 10 minute max. 3 hours is totally ridiculous. Who does she think she is?

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  14. should have thrown a brick at her..

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  15. 3 hours? you're freaking patient!!!

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  16. Eh.. you didn't video tape her and put on youtube? LOL

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  17. wah.... how come some people sooo teruk one. but you are very patient lo...
    nvm, can still make her feel your vengance.
    write her phone nombor in public toilet door.... :D

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  18. OMG!! You waited for 3 whole hours and just let her off with a few words of profanity??!!
    *tabik, tabik*
    This is something you can relate to jesse when you want to teach him a lesson in patience!! :lol:
    You must have an innocent-looking family car, right? You think she'd be so brazen to double-park in front of a souped-up car with a spoiler 10ft high?? :D:

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  19. p/s: I like your title. I thought you were just being polite, but it's apt. Very apt!! :lol:

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  20. Egghead: Or stupider... the jury is still out on this one.
    I did get my tyre iron out at one point, Sherry. :)
    Hahaha! That's a plan, LX. And it actually happened to one of the cars in this area.
    I did, Suanie. Damn cops got me to call MBPJ instead. And getting thru to the right department took almost an hour.
    :lol: That's an idea, Jason. Will make a note of it.
    Stupid people should not own cars, Javapot.
    HAhahah, MOTT, that comment certainly made my day.
    What can I say, Anony-mouse. I have mellowed with age. And this is coming from a guy who punched a whole in the office partition cos salary was one day late. Hahahaha!
    Times like this, I wish you were around, Gina. :lol:
    Too bad I had gone to the toilet already, MC.
    Or slapped silly, Ann. :)
    No Mumsgather, after my warning to her, she hasn't park on the same street ever since. :lol:
    Didn't have one nearby, Ljane
    Ok, Duckie. When you see it, do make that call. Hahaha!
    Yes Kat, it's a pretty innocent looking car. :)

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  21. There is a very simple way to avoid all these hassle. Just don't park your car so far into the parking box in the first place. It's alright to leave the rear of your car sticking out just enough to deter double parkers but not obstructing traffic.
    You just need to observe if the area if commonly double parked.

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  22. loopymeal ..
    next time u got double park again in damansara perdana .. and it if weekday .. give me a call ...
    i drive down to help you push the car to the middle of the road ...
    I'm at uptown only .. very near .. basket ..
    i super duper hate ppl double park .. those are fucking idiot asshole ppl .. double park should not more than 5 mins .. 10 mins is the max already .. so dun ever double park my car...
    there was once when I was still in Taylors College. Double park also a common scene in front of Taylors College. So happen, the fella honk for 15 mins .. no one come to remove the car. then us the passer-by .. around 10+ folks .. help to lift up .. ya no joke..we lift up the car .. and move bit by bit .. and put the car at the back alley ... I'm sure the freaking idiot will freak out when he/she noticed that his/hers "lovely" car no longer at the designated place ...
    Damn that time, we all free damn happy..

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  23. Shld post up her number and her car number plate. Really inconsiderate.

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  24. aisayman you were damn patient loh.

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  25. In those three hours, you could have deconstructed her car beyond recognition and still, it's a correct thing to do. Waiting for that long just because a subhuman individual did something very stupid should result in a merciless punishment either on the car or the individual.
    Damn tulan one that bitch.

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  26. Hope you remember her car number. I'm sure she'll end up in the hood again, then we'll mete out a never-too-late-but-appropriate punishment...

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  27. That what some people do, Autoindustrie. But me, I figured since I also sometimes park behind someone, it would be hypocritical of me to not allow someone to park behind me. :)
    Thank you for the offer, LX. Maybe I'll need it someday. Hahah!
    No worries, Tumpang_Geram, if she does it again, it's up, with photos.
    Yuri. :)
    Some things, I am, FA.
    LOL, I'll keep that in mind, Langkau.
    Stevo: I took a photo of the car. I also saved the phone number. Heheheh.

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  28. you are one patient guy.
    post la her picture / car picture / car reg number / phone number so everyone reading can take a turn calling her every 10 mins! :)

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