Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Demon Possessed!

Last Friday I was at work when Mae calls. "Roma got possessed," Mae was flustered and frantic, "she was writhing on the floor, crying and wailing!"

Apparently, Satan had invaded my mother-in-law's home. Despite the pious woman's daily devotions to God, His age-old nemesis had struck. Mom-in-law brought in the calvary - her sis. Together the two ladies and Mae prayed over our demon-possessed Roma.

"I still feel an eerie presence," Roma said, having calmed down a little. Despite the prayers, this one was here to stay.

By the time we got home that night, she still felt a little strange. I knew what I had to do. It was my turn to show this demon who boss around here.

"Kita orang Cina percaya," I explained our Chinese beliefs to Roma, "kalau hantu sudah masuk, dia tak mau keluar." Once the demon has found a way in, it would never leave. Brave little Roma didn't even flinch at this suggestion.

"We'll have to violently beat it out of you," I continued. I turned to Mae and demonstrated how Master Leong Fu had shown me during my apprenticeship with him in the Shaolin Temple of Kwai Chang Caine. Grab the possessed by the neck with the Furious Dragon Gripping Claw and administer repeated blows across the face with Palm of Buddha Slap of Death.

And just like that, without even laying a hand on her, at the sound of my Thunderous Voice of Doom the devil left Roma as quickly as he had come. And the truth was revealed.

The girl had wanted to breach her employment contract to go home to her family and she decided to use the oldest trick in the book - that book being the Indonesian Maid's Dirty Tricks Guide to Breach of Employment Contract. Still, we decided not to embarrass her for her dumbass attempts to pull a fast one. No one should ever have to feel ashamed for missing home.

And so, once again, the Furious Dragon Gripping Claw and the Palm of Buddha Slap of Death will be laid to rest until a time when it is needed once again.


  1. hehe, same here but then, our maid really kena disturbed. i personally felt a strong presence and had to do battle with it. later, Mrs B had to call the Pastor. found that she carried some items over from Indon... scary..... ;)

  2. Aww... poor thing.
    Does she go back for holidays?

  3. LOL, I dunno to laugh or to gape. From Exorcist to Wong Fei Hoong to dunno what movie, semua pun ada.

  4. Hahahhaahhahaha!!! oh.. you are GOOD..!!!

  5. lol.. and all along you were saying how much you guys treated her like family. sigh.

  6. that taught me not to pull a fast one on you! :P

  7. i need to learn this Furious Dragon Gripping Claw and Palm of Buddha Slap of Death. Past and current experience warrant having that as part of our arsenal.....

  8. wow..u is DA POWDERFUL MAN!!!!!! FIST OF BUDDHA SLAPPING PALMS??? AHHHH.. I don't know all the jargon man...YOU IS GOOOD!!!!!!!!

  9. how in the world did Mae sit through all that with a straight face???!!!!!

  10. she must be young - i knew a maid who was so desperte to go home as well
    but hehe u so the resourceful ;p

  11. my maid said she needs to go home to save her mum from being evacuated. Hmmmm....

  12. Oh well... thanks for fascinating narrative.. but with you James.. hard to tell fiction from truth.. coz truth is stranger than fiction...
    How'd you actually the 'beat' the truth out of her? Tell true story lah.. hahahha
    Me no have maid stories to tell lah..

  13. It's a good thing we have The Leong Fu System of Selvf Defense! Ah Boon will regret not paying you the RM1 for a peep. I believe it is still safely hidden in my house...somewhr.

  14. What? No WongFeiHung's ShadowLess Kick? Aiseh...

  15. keng ... did you hit her anyway to make sure the demon was gone? Sometimes it's good to check *evil grin*

  16. Change your maid lor... didn't know she could be this creepy.

  17. Why do you always have such interesting and funny stories to write? LOL! Yeah... fact or fiction lar? So did she burst into tears revealing the truth? How old is Roma to be intimidated by that? If she's really keen, she might have just taken everything.

  18. You're the man!!! hahaha
    So what's going to happen now? are you going to send her packing or wait for The Return of the Possessed Maid?

  19. Wah, like this also can write dramatic story ah? For a while there, I thought really just a story. LOL!

  20. Wah Buaya, got levitation and projectile vomit ah?! :lol:
    No Silly Pat, theirs is a 2-year contract.
    I watch too many movies, Lilian.
    Why thank you, MamaBok!
    Well, Jayelle, you know how there's always a black sheep of the family...?
    Indeed, Egghead!
    Pls send for an email correspondence course for only RM49.90, Husband!
    Poker mah, Bonnie.
    We make them up as we go along, MOTT!
    :lol: She's gotten used to it by now, Melojo!
    She was pretty miserable since her hopeless hubby never ever writes, Visithra.
    That's a good one, Michelle. I shall have to remember that, in case she ever pulls that one out of the bag.
    Truth IS stranger, Paulos. :lol:
    Jeff: No it isn't. It's safely in my ofis!!!
    Haven't mastered that one, Papi. Hahahh...
    Hmm Gwen.... Good point.
    We're keeping her for the entertainment value, Gina.
    Fact, Yvonne, with a smattering of enhancements. :lol:
    I'm sure the demons are gone for good, Chiwi. Or else...
    It's never JUST a story, Primrose. :lol:

  21. A few more months, then send her home lah. Seriously, no point to keep someone whose heart is no longer here to help. I fear she might be capable of doing something outrageous.