Tuesday, October 31, 2006

A Shitty Encounter

OK, this one is really gonna gross you out. I hate walking into a public toilet to find someone's shit still in the toilet bowl. It pisses me off royally.

So anyway, Sunday I was at the spanking new Digital Mall in Sec 14, PJ when I decided to take a whizz. I walk into the cubicle nearest to the toilet entrance and readied myself to do my deed, when lo and behold, inside the sparkling white ceramic bowl was the biggest pile of turd I had ever seen.

Instinctively, I headed for the door to choose another cubicle, but being the nice guy that I was, I decided to flush the john before I left. Simply because it was the decent thing to do.

I pulled the lever and watched a flood of water spiral into the bowl. Meanwhile I position myself for a quick escape should the water suddenly flood over in case there was a blockage. But no, the water flowed smoothly and rapidly and trickled to a stop, the bubbling and splashing now slowing. As I waited to see the result of my community service, I began rationalised to myself that there was no more a need to use another cubicle since this one was now clean.

But no. This was no ordinary pile of shit. This is shit from hell. Not only did it not flush away, it remained intact and in the exact same position I had first discovered it. It did not even crumble under the pressure of the water as regular shit usually does.

I looked at it, bewildered. The pieces were long and thick. While ordinary mortals' excrement resembled one of those large sausages, this one had the girth of a large cucumber. So large that it would have taken a large asshole to expel this gargantuan dump.

Who was the perpetrator? And for crying out loud, what in hell did he eat!? Did he suffer any injury to his ass at such a momentous task? Will his feces still be there next week? How will the cleaners clean this up?

Questions that keep me up at nights.


  1. #$&^%#!
    you had to post this up just before lunch hour huh? :P

  2. What a crappy entry.

  3. Its amazing how you can analyze these things huh

  4. Gross man...............

  5. James, that is disgusting. Thats what you call the "Unflushable", like stupid ex girlfriends/ex boyfriend who refuses to get a grip and piss off :P

  6. He's not gay is he? There's a probability that his asshole is quite... ahem... loose now.
    Believe it or not, I have encountered this kind of shit before. It's not pretty, that's for sure. Yuck. They should install flushers with three different power levels: dainty, medium/normal and wtf-did-you-eat?!

  7. Maybe it's those fake shit made from wood from Bali. That's a laugh if it's really so. Flush until you die :)

  8. yuck! what a shitty post :)
    so i guess you can't blame the perpetrator since he might have flushed and thought IT will go away so leave the toilet. usually people flush then leave, right, they don't usually stay on to see if IT will go away, assuming that IT will go away, esp. with a working toilet.
    well that was what i used to do but ever since once i don't know what made me stay back to see if IT will go away and it didn't... from that time, i always stay on to see for IT to go away after the flushing before leaving.
    heh. look what james got me to do - talking shit too. ;)

  9. I can't believe you actually looked at it in detail, you perv. :lol:

  10. Hahahahahahahahha!!! This reminds me of an elderly who stayed in my house for a few weeks and she used to have this huge shit coming out from her ass as whenever I use the toilet, I need to flush it first. And the huge shit just dont disintegrate by itself... I had to flush and the same time, pour pails of water inside with full force. it was a good thing the shit didn't spring out and hit me on my face... She had regular meals like us.. but I think, her digestive system is all screwy that.. the shit appeared to be clogged and bloated.

  11. You simple scoop it up with a shovel, and wrap it in a plastic bag and toss it. ^_^

  12. What better way to clear your stomach before lunch, Egghead.
    I try to maintain a standard that i think you would be accustomed to, Fanboy. :lol:
    Nah Duckie, I was gonna pull out my camera phone but I worry that I slip up and drop the damn thing in the bowl.
    Anal-yze huh, Annu? :lol:
    It's better if you see it in person, Papi.
    Yes, he was, Ann! :)
    Yes Amydoll, those gf/bf also happen to behave like shit, don't they?
    Good plan, Luxferi. Invent something like that and you might be a millionaire!
    It didn't have the consistency of dodol, Yuin.
    I swear Anjali, if I had a stick or something, I would have poked around in that thing.
    Yes, Lucia, that is the proper shittiquette.
    I was bored, Bonnie.
    Ah, so you analyze shit too Gina? No wonder we get along so well.
    I think you could pick that one up with a fork, Gwen.
    Does wonders for your stomach, doesn't it MamaBok?

  13. r u one those types that look proudly at your deposits??? Hahah..my No.1 does. Tells me how many somemore!!!

  14. Yes, James. We get so much shit in our lives. Sad, ain't it?

  15. yuck yuck yuck!!! too much detail!!!

  16. err... kawan... u need a life :P

  17. I actually have a possible explanation for this.. it could be that fella had not had a crap for days. It must've sat in his intestines for quite a while, getting stuffed by the day. Kinda like stuffing a sausage.. Hence the density and size of the said turd. :lol:

  18. Oh BTW, is Digital Mall worth visiting? Is it the Low Yat of PJ??

  19. Hey MOTT, I'm proud of all my creations!
    Shit can be happy, Gina. :lol: See how entertained I am.
    No DM, too much detail is if I describe colour and texture.
    That I am, Allison.
    This is life for me, Oli. :)
    :lol: Kat! And no, Digital Mall is NO Low Yat. Too little stuff there.