Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Disciplining the Discipliner

Just last Friday, Jesse had gone to bed as usual at 11-ish. It was a relieve that he finally slept, as I had only had an hours sleep the night before.

At 4am, he woke up crying. He was having a bit of rash and it was causing him a lot of discomfort. We swabbed him off with Calamine Lotion and it was all okay again, except the boy decided that since he was already up, he would spend his waking hours fruitfully, with a dose of Barney.

"Just for awhile, ok?" Mae laid down the law, and our son was happy as a lark. After watching for about a half hour, Mae decided that he should go back to bed and that was when all hell broke loose. He screamed and screech and started tugging at Mommy.

Mae brought out a plastic ruler and warned the boy to shut it, but at that point, he was already way in over his head - bringing that very same head down onto our parquet flooring in successive thumpings. Mae lashed him twice on the arm and he cried even louder, protesting the injustice that was upon him. Then he started biting and gnawing at his Barney doll. And that's when I intervened.

"If you don't like Barney anymore, Daddy's gonna throw him away!" I warned. He stopped. Then he headed for the door and started yanking at the door knob. I warned him to stop but he ignored me. Then I brought to plastic ruler down on his arm, lightly but firmly.

It was the first time I ever hit him and I immediately hated myself for it. It broke his heart and he turned to his mother for solace. He cried his eyes out, and I, mine.

"Don't let your son see you like that," Mae assured me what I had done was the right thing to do. But it didn't make me feel any better. It certainly didn't make the tears stop flowing from my eyes. I felt terrible. As it is, due to my work, he doesn't get to see very much of me - and it seemed like what little time I had with him, I spent it beating him.

It took only a short while for Mommy to lull him back to sleep but for me, the rest of the night was hell.

Not my finest hour, I know. I guess this whole parenting thing is a lot tougher than it looks.


  1. imagine going thru that a few consecutive nights in a row :(
    my stomach is full of guilt now :(

  2. James, I am not a parent yet , but I do believe in tht term, spare the rod and spoil the child... jesse is only a kid, no doubt ... bt if you are strict with him now, you'll never need to hit him with the ruler again :), my mom was especially strict with me... i wasnt spared.. probably cause i was very stubborn and naughty, but today im 25 and when i look back i know , she did for a reason... to make me a better person.so dont feel bad abt hitting jesse with the ruler.
    and with parents like you and mae, nothing will go wrong :)

  3. It's okay, Uncle James. I'm sure you did the right thing. *pats*

  4. Oh you poor thing! Have you recovered now? LOL!

  5. Better to be strict now ..then later. You have to set boundaries for kids, or they'll climb all over you, macam monyet!

  6. Stop crying. Only wusses cry. Err, I meant babies. Be a man! Heh.
    Anyway, that was actually the best time for you to sing my "Barney's Dead" song to Jesse. Would have made him cry more. *evil laugh*
    Merry *piaks* Christmas and Happy New Year!

  7. now i can understand & appreciate ah por's quip ..."Ah por tar lei yat wai Ah por sek lei"

  8. Eggy: Erm... guilt is good?
    I should buy you dinner, Deepa. :)
    :lol: Here's hoping, Jason!
    Hahhahha... I may have recovered, Mumsgather, but I shall never be the same again... :lol:
    Already climbing, MOTT!
    :lol: Anjali, I swear the kid's turned me into a wuss. I think I shall have to beat him lots more... y'know... just to get used to it.
    Jeff: Ugh! I can imagine her returning at night to cane me.

  9. james, i always believe that its better that the mom does all the disciplining... coz somehow when dad does it, it seems a bit rough and vulgar. for moms, however, its a totally diff thing. let mae be the "bad" one at this age, and u be the hero.
    my dad was always my hero save me from mom when i was younger hehehe.

  10. At some point of time kids need discipline - u dont want a spoilt child - so dont worry - u arent torturing him ;) cheers ;)
    merry christmas n happy new year

  11. I am sure you don't want Jesse to grow up to be one of those brats you used to hate. Your discipline is constructive and not harsh at all. So you should congratulate yourself for punishing Jesse neutrally and not blinded by your own anger.
    I have seen kids whom one parent discipline them and the other parent sayang back. This doesn't work unless you are playing good parent, bad parent. Well. What do I know.
    But I think you did well. :)

  12. One thing i like reading other blogs is that most of the time i find that i am not alone.... so James, you are not alone too! hahahaha.....
    time to get a real cane....ruler is for drawing lines, a straight one!!!

  13. it's ok son, I'll get you a barney too...

  14. It's never too soon to discipline your child. Good job daddy!
    (Although my son was born with the fear of Daddy in his bones; Whenever Sean just says something, Stewie knows when to stop and run away)

  15. Yes Amydoll, that's what I want. Hero.
    Yup, Visithra. :D
    Thanks Bonnie. But no, I never hated kids. I just enjoy torturing them. :lol:
    Hahh... agree Annie but our kid hid the canes lah.
    Stevo: Just you wait... Heh
    Whoa. Stewie must be the best kid on the block then, Gwen?