Friday, December 16, 2005

Penis Van Lesbian

... and proud of it!

This one was shot only last weekend at my brother's house, Jesse's Uncle Stephen. It was a dark and stormy night, and the boy was near to having his buns frozed-off. And so we got Uncle Stevo to bring the boy a t-shirt to keep warm. Bad mistake.

Now, my sibling and I are alike. We're funny guys who like to crack a joke or two. But Stephen is the evil one among us. And hence the t-shirt he got poor Jesse to wear. Still, it reminded us of a joke we used to tell at the dining table.
There was once a talented entertainer who, tried as he might, could not make it big in Hollywood. After having gone for audition upon audition, he was near to quitting when he chanced upon the Casting Agent who would change his life forever.

At the audition, this lively young man did his thing - he sang the house down, danced up a storm and flexed his acting muscles. The agent was so impressed, he have our guy the standing ovation. Yet, he was perplexed as to why this young man had not already made it. "Tell me, young fellow, what is your name".

"My name is Penis Van Lesbian," answered the young man sheepishly. And at once the agent knew that the young entertainer's problem. With such and unfortunate name, it was no wonder that Hollywood would not crown their new prince. Then a spark of brilliance hit the experienced agent.

"We shall have to change your name a little, if you want to make it in this town". The agent went on to assure that the meaning of his name would be preserved. At once the young showman agreed. If fame and fortune was available at only the price of his name, then surely it was a price he could afford. "Let's do it then," said the agent, "from this day forth, you shall be known as Dick Van Dyke."
Yeah, dinner was always lively at the Tan household. Especially with our favourite joke. And one day when little Penis... um... I mean, little Jesse grows up, I'll share this joke with him too. But then again, by then nobody would know who Dick Van Dyke was. Oh well.

Note: Stephen's blogging too these days. Check it out but remember he's evil. Hahhah.


  1. kah kah kah..muchos gracias. needed a joke after being deprived from streamyx for 6 days!

  2. you and stephen are true evil!
    hopefully Jesse will follow more of Mae's charm :P

  3. what? got parents name their child penis? perhaps they feel since there is a girl's name of virginia, a boy ought to have penis name. :)

  4. lucia: There's probably a back story. Long, long ago, in a southern province of China, there lived a boy that grew up to be rather muscular. He wanted to join Hong Kong cinema but they all said that he's too bulky and too jinjang.
    So he decided to consult his friends on moving to Hollywood. "But you're a very cina Chinese! How would you survive?" "Ah hah! I saved up enough money while making Japanese porn to have Michael Jackson-like plastic surgery!" "But your name?"
    So he spend days thinking of a suitable English name. One of his friends was named Spoon, so he striked off all utensils hoping not to seem uncreative. Another friend was named Baby, so he striked out common English nouns. Another named himself Action, so there also goes common English verbs. A bodybuilding buddy named himself Butterfly, so animals also are striken off.
    So he related his dilemma to his brother while working the fields in some ulu place in Southern China. The brother came up with a bright idea. He asked what was his brother's striking physical quality, his most prized procession, and the best thing he saw.
    For the last question, the brother shouted, "Lesbians having sex!" the second question, he shouted, "My van!" and for the first question, he pondered. "Well, my lanchiau rather big lah..."
    And that's how Chow Pei Si became Penis Van Lesbian.

  5. Ha ah aha ah ah ah!!!! So that is how Dick Van Dyke got his name??? hahahahahahahahaha!!!! Why you never told me this joke before??

  6. Wah... Stephen is not only MORE good looking, he can blog too. Ha ha ha!

  7. by the way.. Jesse look's really happy wearing that t-shirt.. wait till you show one of these picture to his future gfrens... man.. would he really be happy ... or resent you.. for taking this picture.. ka ka ka.. ha ha ha ha
    where can i get a dad like you..

  8. No Streamyx for 6 days? That's like the stone age, MOTT!
    He'll do much better to take after Mae, Egghead.
    Hahh... you have a pretty inventive mind there, Lucia!
    *piak* Rajan, no hijacking the comment! :lol:
    I can't believe I never told you this one, Gina. Bah, anyone with keyboard can blog lah.
    Paulos, you can start by calling me Daddy! :)

  9. I'm wondering what will your kid say when he sees all your posts about him in the future, heheh

  10. its amazing to see how Jesse poses for all his pics...haha..he's really good at tat.
    im sure someday he'll be proud to see his cool poses..n of course thanks to the 'cameraman'..;)

  11. hehhehe this would do great when u wanna embarrass him in the future ;) lol at rajan ;)

  12. Luckily I didn't let him wear the Mastercard "Masturbate" t-shirt. He's a bit too young for that.

  13. Why Jyrenze, he'll be tickled, of course!
    Nah, Ashes, these days he's really just trying to grab the camera!
    Visithra, it's a parent's right to embarass their kids. I'm just starting early.
    Hahh. Now you know why we never visit you, Son!

  14. Who's your DADDY!??!? You my daddy.. and daddy.. first things first.. can i have the car keys please..
    Citroen.. hmm.. yummy..
    plus.. can I have err.. some money too? :P