Monday, April 23, 2007

Dirty Tricks to Wake Your Kid

Kids, like most adults, are not really morning people. The difference is when adults wake up feeling like shit in the morning, we suck it all in, grin and bear with it cos we have to. Kids don't have to bear with anything.

Which is why some kids wake up in the morning all angry with the world. And the rest of the morning goes downhill for them. Their bath water will feel like crap to them. Breakfast will be unbearable. School will be torture. And poor Daddy and Mommy, who will have to deal with all of this, gets a bonus of bad mornings to top off their already bad morning.

Then comes Clever Daddy. (Drumrolls please, *ahem*)

Clever Daddy wakes at 7:00am. It's a shitty mornings like all mornings, but today there is a sweet smell of ingenuity in the air. Daddy does this thing - the bath, the brush, the shave and the shit. Then lo and behold, it is now 7:30am. Clever Daddy picks out a nice Barney DVD, pops it into the player in the bedroom and waits for the show to begin.

As the annoying strains of "I love you, you love me" fill the room, Unsuspecting Child is gently awoken by the sound of his freaky purple best friend. Clever Daddy then swoops down on Child and blows a raspberry on his tummy. Daddy and Child break out into laughter.

And there was joy throughout the land. Once again, the world was spared the melancholy of another crabby kid. Hurrah!


  1. *claps claps claps*
    *standing ovation*
    Haha! That's a really fun way to start the kid's morning and bet, after that, your bad morning won't feel that bad too.

  2. Clever indeed. The power of temptation :)

  3. fuh-yoh! lidat also can ah??
    evil box does it again! LOL!

  4. Does anyone notice that the daddy bath first & shit later...? Think it would be better the other way around right before handling the kid?
    Anyway, good strategy on waking up the kid to the world of the happy purple dino. Hehe!

  5. Thank you Jason. :lol: *takes a bow*
    I try, Shine.
    Temptation, Pelf? More like distraction.
    Evil box is more good than evil, Eggy.
    :lol: Got me there Slow Coach! But yes, I generally take a dump before I take a bath.

  6. Great tip! Will share it with Fische, maybe he can try it on me... hehe! Idris and Fische both ALWAYS wake up on the right side of the bed. I'm the crabby one.

  7. Noooo....! Not the scourge of the purple monster!!
    Waugh!!! :p :p :p

  8. :lol: What would you like to wake up to, Najah? I doubt if Barney does it for you.
    Like him or love him, the purple horror is here to stay, Maggie.

  9. Nice tricks! But you have to try a new method after like 10 yrs later... haha

  10. Maybe not Barney - he's the subject of my nightmares! Teletubbies might do it for me... "time for teletubbies... "

  11. Yeah? Works for you? I don't think I dare try it because if my kid wakes up to the sound of his favourite video, and I take him away to bath and shit, he'll be in an even crabbier mood!! :lol:

  12. Hahaha .. I do the same thing to my kid, only without the cd, hubby & me will start singing the "I Love you, You Love me" ditty "loudly" .. works like a charm everytime!

  13. Ooh! The crabby kid! Yeah, I get that lots too. Worse, my kids wake too early for my liking. So, it's the early crabby kid or kids. *sigh* Some mornings the Crabby Kid triggers my transformation to Crabby Screamin Mum. Bruce Banner would be proud.
    Ahh, the Purple Dino. Frankly, my hubby & I dunno what to make of him. We don't like him but we can't decide if it's "safe" for our kids to watch him. Sean used to love Bob the Builder but now he's discovered Barney & has been watching the CD at least once a day. Aaargghhhh!
    Is it just me or is there something seriously freaky about Barney's voice?
    Bring Bob back!

  14. u DA MAN!
    now...start a training course for ALL daddies on waking up and helping wake up the kids, shower them, feed them breakie and etc etc.....
    so that mums can sleep in...

  15. Hahaha i do the same thing but not Barney,Barney is for bedtime...Pocoyo is for morning cheers!

  16. Yes Hao, by then it shall have to be brute force of something. :lol:
    Eeeyyyeeaargh Najah? Teletubbies?!?!?!?
    Yes Kat, that's why we try to FWD the DVD right up to the last 10 minutes!
    Ah, nice, Claudine. I imagine that should put the whole family in the right mood. :)
    Agreed, Liz. We need more of Bob!
    I'm afraid all I'll be good for is to train other hubbies how to pull a fast one on the wives, MOTT. :lol:
    Ah, a scheduled viewing. Very classy, Sasha! :)

  17. hi, my first time here. i don't have a problem with that. aidan will come wake me up actually. but instead of switching on the tv for me, he'll pounce on me like Tigger, then crawl under the doona with me and uses both hands to cup my face, and shake it side to side. TORTURE! but on the sweet side, he'll take my comb and comb my hair, something like a light massage. now THIS is nice...

  18. Hi there, Sweetpea! Sounds like you got the better deal. :)
    CK, :)