Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Solitary Confinement


the hand that rocks the cradle


Raising a kid is no walk in the park, I tell you. Aside from the feeding, cleaning, pooping, peeing we also have to contend with the Baby Jesse's crying. And oh boy, the boy can cry - sometimes for no particular reason at all! Usually when Jesse gets that way, we'd just talk to him and strangely enough, sometimes it works.

"If you keep crying, I'll sell you to the pig farmers," Mae told Jesse one day, keeping her part in an age-old Chinese tradition of threatening the young. (Every Chinese mother I know has spoken this line at least once in their lives! Hahahha!)

And then, Aunty Mooi joined in the conversation, "Oh no, don't sell him to the pig farmers, send him home with me back to Kampar." And all of them had a hearty laugh over Aunty Mooi's quip. Suddenly, the air turned dense and thick, almost bearing down on Mae's fragile, weather-beaten and weary post-natal body. "I'm serious," Aunty Mooi said. Somewhere, a child's cry shattered the silence and serenity of the land.

When I came home that night, Mae confided in me. "Do you think she might just snap and make off with our baby?" Mae's always had a flair for the dramatic. It also didn't help that she had a fertile imagination.

"She's always discouraging me from breastfeeding Baby," Mae went on, "Maybe she doesn't want me to bond with Jesse." Like I said, Mae's mind is filled with the fantastical. And so I answered her in the only way I know how.

"You better check on her at nights," I told Mae, "Maybe SHE's breastfeeding Jesse!" Mae was mortified. As my words seeped into the dark recesses of her brain, snippets of The Hand That Rocks The Cradle played over in her mind. The evil Rebecca De Mornay had done just that to exact revenge on a woman who destroyed her life!

I sat back and enjoyed the show as Mae went into a mini panic attack. Hahahha! That's when she bopped me on the head and called me an idiot. Bwahahahhah!!

Aunty Mooi had indeed grown fond of Jesse. He seems to have that effect on people. Anyway, over the course of the last two weeks Aunty Mooi had brought up the subject. She was genuinely offering to take him off our hands for a month. We declined, of course. We would simply miss Baby too much. We did, however, promise that we'd take Jesse to Kampar for visits.

Still, in the back of her mind, Mae was still wondering. Was Aunty Mooi a crazed lonely woman?

Last Friday, the night before Aunty Mooi was due to go home, I decided to play with Mae again. "Honey, I think we better hide the house keys," I told Mae with dead-panned seriousness. "What if Aunty Mooi decides to sneak off with Jesse in the middle of the night?" Mae jumped out of bed to grab all our house keys. Hahhahhahhahha!!!

How can anyone not love Mae? :) She's entertainment all-year round.

30 comments:

  1. hahahaa... i watched that movie! super creepy. ummm.... are pig farmers supposed to be a scary breed of fellows? i've never met one :D

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  2. My mom did say that I was picked up from the rubbish bin. ;)
    I can't really recall her saying that she'd sell me to Uncle Tan's Pig Farm...

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  3. Wah, James, you really jahat lah, dude! :lol:

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  4. Rubbish bin bull is to avoid talking about sex.

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  5. This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Although it's going to take me a while to get the image of that woman breastfeeding a baby out of my head. Get out! GET OUT!!!

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  6. james...中秋节快乐。。。

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  7. fuiyouh james! you can really play psycho ler. ;)

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  8. aiya, James so cruel to Mae ah?
    Mae, smack James head for me...3 times.
    LOL!

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  9. OMG! Sounds like you just described my wife! Are all women like that? Maybe it's the 'drama' hormone...
    Then again, probably not - it's just us lucky guys

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  10. ler... so sweet la u guys...
    now pass jesse to me... i wanna give him a hug.
    yes i will still want to educate him about christina aguilera.

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  11. Aiyoh,
    Reminds me when I'm young. Haha..
    Beware of babysitters, esp. Indonesians. I'm not joking neither am I stereotyping. Just my honest opinion. =)

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  12. James you're Dr Evil...personified..
    anyways, you're giving Mae nightmares. I wonder if she actually does take time out to read your blogs.
    Be careful about the movie thingy.. .she might choose to go "Basic Instinct" on ya with the ice-pick. ha ha ha
    The mind is a dangerous thing to play with..

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  13. a reader of your blogSeptember 28, 2004 at 7:27 PM

    hahahahahha..... !!
    James, you're really good at manipulating Mae's emotions, arent't you ? :)
    but seriously...aunty mooi's request was a little ...er... irrational !

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  14. Of course pig farmers are scary, CC! :lol:
    Hhahhah, yeah Yahkid, they all say that rubbish bin thing too!
    What can I say Sashi. I like to live on the edge. :)
    Ev0l is funny, annu! :lol:
    Yeah Anon, we Chinese are prudes. :)
    Hahhahah. I'm sure the photo helped, Jordan!
    Translate Phoenix, translate!
    I think Mae is more psycho than me, Buaya. :lol:
    Hey, who's side you on, Papi!?! :lol:
    Yes Reg. Reader. Aren't wives fun that way!?
    Lil' Jesse says thanks, Mandy!
    No way Kev. You might be tempted to breastfeed him. Hahhah!!
    What Deb? A maid tried to kidnap you!?
    *bish* Thanks a lot for the Basic Instinct reference, Paulos. Given Mae's... erm... suceptibility to the power of suggestion, my life is now officially in danger! :lol:
    I'm sure Aunty Mooi meant well, Reader. Or maybe....... hehheh!

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  15. WAT A CHEEK!!! You shouldn't have said tat! *wags finger at you* She's just an old lady who'd love the company of having young people around. maybe she just doesn't have anything to do, and taking care of babies is wat she loves neway.
    in any case, u shudn't hv frigthened Mae.... Wat la u! =P

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  16. i won't breastfeed him! i swear...
    wait, i don't have breasts...???!!!
    *shock horror*
    oo, thank god i got a pee pee.
    hooray for that.

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  17. hey hello!
    LOL~ that was funny. u really have a good sense of humour. but dun take what Mae says too lightly though.
    1stly, she may be right abt Aunty Mooi. 2ndly, what if Mae's suffering from post-natal blues?? gulps* hehe*

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  18. hey, i think itz great tht she's bonded so well with Jesse. U guys r so blessed she cares so much =)

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  19. james..it is Happy Mid-Autumn Festival....

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  20. I always feel that the color of photos in your blog are nicer than elsewhere. Is it the camera or ????

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  21. No wonder heart attacks are on the rise.

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  22. hmm... why is Aunt Mooi discouraging Mae from breastfeeding Jesse?? i thought the mother's milk is the best for the baby?? hmm...

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  23. James, you are MEAN! How could you make fun & scare your wonderful wife like that?

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  24. LOL. Poor Mae. And... BAD James.. tsk tsk. Hmm.. any reason why Auntie Mooi discourages breastfeeding?

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  25. *reads all the comments*
    HAHAHAHA
    *dies from a heart attack*

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  26. Hahha, Sapphire Pearl! Mae's quite paranoid about these things. But you're right, Aunty Mooi did grow very fond of Baby Jesse. Anyway, do set your mind at ease. We did promise to bring Baby to see her once in awhile. :)
    Too much info, Kev! :P
    X-rich's Gal, Aunty Mooi is a wonderful Confinement Lady. And no, I'm sure Mae isn't suffering from Post-Natal Blues. Those women usually end up killing their husbands or something... uh oh! :lol:
    Aunty Mooi handled him really well, Andrea. We'd use her again if she'd agree to it!
    Thanks Phoenix. Same to you.
    I'm sure it's just the camera, HA. Canon A80.
    A bit of excitement is good for the heart, Gina!
    CN/YP: Breastfeeding is a lot more difficult that it looks. Sometimes both Mae and Baby gets frustrated. More on this in a future post.
    :lol: Jotay, you should see the stuff she sometimes does to me.
    Glad you're having fun, Leo! :)

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  27. I love your blog very much, down to earth : ) I have also bookmarked your blog so that I could regulary check if there are any new blogs from u.
    Your #1 fan

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  28. Wow, I have a fan! :lol: Thank you for dropping by. Come back often.

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