Monday, July 25, 2005

Death & Life

It seems like people around me are dropping like flies. Last week, Mae's grandma passed on. A couple of days back, our friend Alice lost her battle with cancer. This morning, Mae got news that someone she knew had died in a freak accident in the New York subways.

Frankly, all this dying is starting to piss me off just a little bit. Cut it out, people! There's nothing cool about death, except maybe the wardrobe.

I've never been comfortable with death. I remember how, in my childhood, I was mortified whenever a relative died. Didn't help that back then, Chinese coffins had that creepy Chinese horror movie look! But still, I was always a ballsy kid. I had never chickened out from taking one last look at the dearly departed. Sure, I had nightmares after, but my curiosity had always been far greater than my fears.

Over the years, I have come to terms with death. The nightmares are gone - even the ones in which I die a horrible death. I can't quite explain it. Maybe I have become desensitised. Or perhaps it's the Christian faith that I now embrace. If you believe, Jesus promises life after death for those who accept him. But what are the implications?

Some people think Christians are an arrogant lot for thinking that they're the only ones who get to go to Heaven. Maybe so. But have you ever considered the burden that comes with the knowledge of that divine promise? A lot of my family and friends are not believers. And that worries me a little. No so much that they reject me or my silly beliefs, but I worry that there might be ever so slight the chance that I may never see them again. That would just plain suck.

To whoever's reading this, please don't die. At least not until you're heard every side of the story.


  1. Hey, have you check out the book Heaven is so real? Mrs B and Simon Wheregot told me about it. I bought it but found it too hard to handle. It is too promising. Stucked at Chapter 2-3 only. After flipping through, I promise to be a good girl 'cos I don't wanna end up in the valley, down there, in gunny sacks.

  2. so sorry to hear all those people that have pass away...must be hard for u... well, im the kind of person who hate going to funeral or probably i was scare but deep down.... death is like a meeting the time to go and i will always be happy for them.. i try to hold my tear and just smile becos i know deep down that, that is what the person will want me to be because... i know they did not die in me and still remain living forever in me.. and i dun think christian is arrogant... i am a buddhist but i think it is nice to say that every people that pass away will go to heaven... whether or not... it still bring peace for everyone...and it is a very good thing...

  3. i know how hard it is esp when the person died of some other causes compared to those who lived till ripe old age. so sorry to hear whats happening...
    just found out that my 22 yr old niece in Spore was diagnosed wid nose cancer. darn! a colik of mine in his mid 30s is undergoing treatment for the same thing. :o(

  4. Dying would be ok, if it meant meeting DEATH from the Discworld series...

  5. Yeah, it's the same with me. Trying to imagine having an afterlife where you don't get a chance to see your partner, your best friend or even a family member AFTER you die - much or less when you're alive - just feels soooo bad.
    But then again, I was never one for pushing and prodding people to believe in my religion - so that's the double-edge sword, I'd think.

  6. Ever heard of a seed, that needs to die before it can become a plant and blossom into a big strong tree?
    I am a Christian too. I believe that it is not the end to death. There is after life.
    Believe it or not.

  7. I used to fear the dead too.. but not anymore.. now.. i wanna say my last goodbyes.. to those that is moving/passing on.
    I blame my fear on the dead on my mum.. she used to be so spooky about it.. hhhaha!!

  8. Hmm... having some conversations with Death lately?
    He's getting emo, because people hate him. And I can't stand Death being emo. Gone is the old hilarious self... :(
    c'mon people.. be happy facing Death, okay?

  9. Some reassuring and comforting words for you.
    Death, however, does not exist in those terms. In the dawn of physical existence, men knew that death was merely a change of form. A death is just a night to your soul.
    Existence is larger than life or death. Life and death are both states of existence. An identity exists whether it is in the state of life or in the state of death.
    Your body is aware of the fact of its death at birth, and of its birth at its death, for all of its possibilities for action take place in the area between….so don’t be afraid to die if you are prepared!
    No man or woman consciously knows for sure which day will be the last for him or her in this particular life, that each calls the present one. Mortality with its birth and death is the framework in which the soul, for now, is expressed in flesh.
    Birth and death contain between them the earthly experience that you perceive as happening within a given period of time, through various seasons, and involving unique perceptions within areas of space-encountered with other human beings, all to one extent or another sharing with you events caused by the intersection of the self and time and space.
    Birth and death then have their function, intensifying and focusing your attention. Life seems more dear in your terms, corporeal terms, because of the existence of death. It seems, perhaps, easier to have no conscious idea of the year or time that death might occur. Unconsciously of course each man and woman knows, and yet hides the knowledge.
    The knowledge is usually hidden for many reasons, but the fact of death, personal death, is never forgotten. It seems obvious, but the full enjoyment of life would be impossible in the framework, now, of earthly reality without the knowledge of death.
    Spiritually the death sentence given you is another chance at life, if you are freely able to accept life with all of its conditions and to feel its full dimensions, for that alone will rejuvenate your spiritual and physical self.
    The experience that you experiencing was significant on several levels, and let you know that the integrity of the self and the soul exists beyond the possibility of annihilation, as you yourself will continue to exist regardless of which path you choose to take-dying within two years, or living physically on for many more. In other words, you will continue to exist and to be fulfilled within that love you sensed.
    In the entire fabric of your existence, this life is a brilliant, eternally unique and precious portion, but only a portion, from which you emerge with joy and understanding whether you die tomorrow or in years to come. The choice of life and death is always yours.
    Life and death are but two faces of your eternal, ever changing existence, however. Feel and appreciate the joy of your own being. Many live into their nineties without ever appreciating to that extent the beauty of their being.
    You have lived before, and will again, and your new life, in your terms, springs out of the old, and is growing in the old and contained within it as the seed is already contained within the flower.

  10. Woah, this topic sucks. :( I'm kind of a necrophobic so it's difficult to talk about it. Sometimes my feelings on realism conflict with my beliefs ... er ... the ever present science versus religion question.
    I would -love- to believe everything, that there is a Heaven, Paradise, Nirvana ... what you want to call it. Another life on another plane, or maybe you become a part of the Earth and form another being to aid others. Reincarnation ... soul bonding where you meet your loved one in another life (this scares me because I love my hubby so much) ...
    Then there's the part where my mind tells me "What if you just rot in the ground?" You go to sleep and never wake up. Maybe you end up dreaming ... maybe not, seeing as your synapses die out as your brain degrades anyway. I've been put under anesthesia and totally put to sleep for the duration of my D&C (surgery after miscarriage) and woke up 2 hours later not knowing what the heck happened to me. I had no dreams, nothing. Just darkness, the difference about that is of course, you wake up sometime. In death, you probably don't realise ... man this is depressing and it makes me panic and cry.

  11. We should concentrate on living our lives to the best we can while we still can breath, instead of concentrating so much on what to expect when we die.
    We should care for those people we love and not hesitate to show our care. There is no point yapping about what we could have done more for someone after they are gone.
    Embrace life while you are still alive!

  12. Hmm... I'll probably flunk out too, Lilian!
    You're probably right Keith. By the time you pass away, it's too late to say anything that will make a difference. So might as well say something nice.
    It's always difficult to see young people go too soon, Babe. Hope your cousin and your colleague make out okay.
    What is the Discworld series, Sashi? Heh... me not too up-to-date!
    I feel exactly the same way, Mei - especially that bit about pushing and prodding. Which makes it hard, I guess...
    I believe, Michelle. And I pray that what I believe is right. Eternity is a long time to kick myself for getting it wrong. :)
    Yeah, my mom too make a big spookfest out of funerals, BigBoK!
    Be happy facing death eh, Chewyx. Hahhahahah!!!
    Damn Multimid, you must not have read my posting on reading long articles! :) I will have to slowly pore over what you wrote and respond again! :lol:
    C'mon AhPink, surely life's not so bad that you need release?!
    How easy it would be if we just rot in the ground, Gwen.
    Yes Egghead, but you gotta admit it takes death to put life into perspective.

  13. oi, get my email arh? :P
    /end Manglish

  14. Yesterday, I looked upon a dead lady in her coffin. This morning, I did the same again. I don't get it when people remark, "she looked really good, as if sleeping, resting etc". I get spooked by this sort of comments, not the corpse.
    Dead poeple should look nothing other than 'dead'. This dead lady was aged 102: a nun from Shanghai; one of the pioneers of the Assunta Hospital, has seen 2 World Wars and the Gulf Wars and the Asian Tsunami... she sure lived through a lot. And thank God, she sure looked dead.
    This was a happy ocassion. At this ripe old age and all that she has seen, accomplished and been through, joyous is the word to describe the mood of all her nun-sisters and those who knew/loved her, when we said the 'Office of the Dead' for the morning and evening prayers as well as the Rosaries.
    Dead, she sure looked at peace and in heaven already.
    Oops, sorry James, I almost did an obit here.

  15. There's nothing much you can do about it, death.
    Come over for some fish pie; I bet you'll feel better :P

  16. "Cut it out, people!"
    You too? Me too. =(

  17. Multimid's comment damn "chim". Need to read 3x to understand.
    Yeah. I thought about it all the time. One after another of my non believer relatives dying. So I might as well stick around and join them in hell. :)

  18. Got it, Gwen. Thanks. :)
    D.Goddess: Fish Pie? Yumm.... :lol:
    Hahah, Percolator, I understand what you mean. It would seem so wrong to bury someone who was just sleeping.
    Aerox: Aww maaan...
    There's a great big BBQ and Gina's invited, eh? Hahhahh!