Friday, April 15, 2005

A Day of Torture

It's been a week since I signed up at the gym near my office. I've been pretty smug about it too. My gym is cheaper, only RM90 month. Also, since it's a small gym, the proprietor takes it in his stride to train me up at no extra cost. Besides, this gym is just a stone's throw from my office. So it's all good.

Or so I thought.

I have stumbled into a den of lions! Okay, so maybe that was a tad melodramatic, but damn these guys are hardcore. "Hari-hari two solid hours," Wak Ali tells me, "I guarantee you akan lose weight or I chop my head off!"

After a pretty tame week of cardio on the bicycle, yesterday he decides to start me off with some pumping for my legs. First, he drags me off to this huge-ass torture implement called the Leg Press. I did 4 sets of 21 repetitions. Then it was the Leg Extensions. 4 sets 12 reps. Leg Curls. 4 sets 12 reps. By then my leg muscles (or lack thereof) were so numbed with pain they felt like strangers to me. "Yo James, we're your legs and we feel like kicking your ass for that shit you just put us thru!" That was two days ago. Today, my legs still feel like shit.

Anyway, he let me go back to my cardio after those. And for the first time, I felt fortunate to be able to go back up on the bike. But alas, more torture awaited. "OK, last one," Wak Ali called to me. "Ini paling difficult!" I could swear I heard him cackle like a witch under his breath. Front Squats. 4 sets 10 reps. He explains that this was so difficult that some guys actually blackout from doing this. Oh maaan!!

And as if 10 reps weren't bad enough, the guy comes along during my last set and asks me to do 20 instead. Shitshitshitshitshit!!!! By the sixth repetition, my legs were about to buckle under me. "Tak boleh, boss," I pleaded. "Yes you can," he yelled, "You can do it!"

Think fast James, think fast I told myself. And I did. I was desperate. And so, I took the path of the chickenshit. I feigned a blackout spell. "Pitam, boss," I told him I was on the verge of fainting. And he let me stop. "Eleeehhh... my wife boleh buat more that you," he laughed.

Not my finest hour, but a man's wuss' gotta do what a man's wuss' gotta do.


  1. Wait till you try front squats with 20kgs of weights on your shoulder.
    No worries James, after a few days of the same thing, your legs will feel better. After a couple of months and you see your body change, you'll want to do more. ;)

  2. dont worry uncle james, the worse ....err best is yet to come. the divine 6-pack ^^. (alcohol not included)

  3. You feigned a backout spell?? Hehe... that's a good way to escape. But if your instructor didn't tell you that some ppl blackout doing the front squat, how would you bail yourself out??

  4. The leg press is the killer! Hubby used to hate it so much when he still had a gym membership. I think that thing scared him off so much that till now, he still doesn't dare to venture into a gym :P

  5. Heh, that's actually quite little. But small steps...

  6. I love squats.. and bicep curls and bench presses. I hate doing overhead thingos.. but that was eons ago. I wanna get back to the gym, but $$$ is the issue. ha ha ha.

  7. we really wouldn't want wak ali to be headless now would we? hehe... i'm sure you'll get better at it. then it'll be "kacang putih boss!"

  8. hi james,
    you're entry on 'My First Workout' kinda contributed to my 1st step of working out too (check out
    I looked up to you so now u can't quit on me hehehe... Today is my 2nd day on the stepper (of course nothing compared to your bike and whatever machine u use to exercise lah), my thighs are groaning in pain already.

  9. LOL... "add oil... add oil...." (in canton)
    pain now, enjoy later ;-) the pain will go away soon and keep on working out! do different part of yr body today
    btw i hate squats!

  10. haha.. hang in there. I want to see a six-pack when I come back to M'sia. :P

  11. Hem ... is that you in those pics? Wahaha ... probably not. They look like ancient devices of torture, and probably are!

  12. I think Wak Ali is trying to train you up to be his next fitness ambassafor. Good luck!

  13. keep on with the tortue, james. first first sure tortue one lah. but in the end you'll be rewarded.

  14. Ugh Pickyin, I'm not looking forward to adding weights. As it is, I'm having trouble carrying my own dead weight! :)
    Ah, Leo, the divine 6-pack...
    I'd rather have twice the leg press over the front squats, Ariel.
    I dunno Ann. With any luck, I might have passed out for real. :lol:
    Wah Rajan, you very lansi man! Come one lah, give this uncle a break lah, dude!
    Join my gym lah, Paulos. RM90 only lah. just drink 2 less kopi-ping everyday lah.
    I long for the day when it becomes "kacang putih", CC!
    Hey there Sue, thanks for the encouragement. I'm not worthy. But yeah, hope we both do well. :)
    After a 2-day rest over the weekend, my body has finally stopped aching now, BabeKL. Tomorrow it's back to punishment again. *sigh*
    And if you never do get to see one, Kat, I'll have to buy you one. :lol:
    Gwen, if I looked so good, why would I even be going to the gym. *ahaks*
    Either that or I'm just his whipping boy, Gina!
    Hopefully the end comes before my end, Lucia. :lol:

  15. Sounds interesting James, please give me details, I might want to come view the facilities and check it out. You sure his name is Wak Ali and Ahmad, I had a drill sargeant by that name, now that was torture.
    He'd make us do push ups and then ask us to sustain the position with your chest 1-2 inches from the ground and then put his boot just right under the crotch, then he'd say "Kalau awak punya ***** sentuh saya punya kasut, saya akan sepak awak!" Man!.. but those were fun days.. i.e. marching and physical exercise..

  16. ...hee hee...
    ...that seems to be every drill sergeant's favourite...

  17. Ugh! I pray I never have a drill sargeant!