The Secret of a Happy Marriage

In matters of love and marriage, the world in divided into two distinct categories of people. Clean People and Dirty People. And never the twain shall meet, or there's gonna be trouble.

Clean People are tidy, orderly and possibly somewhat nerdy. Dirty People are the throw-caution-to-the-wind and devil-may-care, free spirits. And generally, Dirty People have more fun that Clean People. So when you throw the two together in a marriage, one of two things will happen. Either they divorce or Clean People eventually become dirty. :)

If you're a Clean Person, nothing can be more miserable than to live with a slob. They leave stuff all over the place, stink up the house and never bother to help out. On the other hand, a Dirty Person can go bonkers with all that incessant nagging and whining.

So if you're looking for a life partner that would actually stick around for the rest of your life, please consider a spouse that is either a neatness-freak like you or a slob, if that's what you are. Forget your childhood ideals or beauty, height, money, ambition, bla bla bla. If you want a happy marriage, then this it's just a choice between clean or dirty.

Sometimes I allow Jesse to eat anything he finds on the floor. If I had a Clean Wife, life would be hell. She'd scream at me and make my life miserable. But Dirty Mae just laughs heartily. "Hahahah, honey," she'd sometimes say, "Your son is eating a scrap paper he picked up from the trash can." And I'd reply, "Hhahahaha!" And upon seeing his parents in such a jolly mood, our child joins in the fun. "Hahahah," he'd go. And our household is filled with joy and laughter.

Of course our household is also filled with litter. But hey, we don't really mind.