Monday, July 5, 2004

Who Watches The Fatmen?

Over the weekend I received a call on my mobile phone. It was a telemarketer. I get quite a bit of these, every now and then selling the standard stuff - insurance, time-share vacations, credit cards, etc. But this call was different.

It was a call from a fitness chain. A lady on the other end of the line wen't straight to the point, "Hello Mr. Tan. We hear you're a fat bastard and we think it's best you join our gym." Okay. So she didn't actually say that, but she might as well have.

"How did you get my number?" I enquired. "Your friend just joined our gym recently and he put your name down in the referral list." What a steaming pile of bullshit. I probed further, "Which friend?" She hadn't expected that. "Erm... ahh... well... it was a Mr. Ang."

I don't know any Mr Ang.

What's going on here? Is there suddenly a list of all the fat guys in town? Are we being monitored? Or is someone just calling us up for kicks? "Hey, let's call another fatty today!"

Anyway, I have been invited for a full day workout at a gym in KL, free, of course. I haven't actually decided to attend just yet. But I have been meaning to enrol myself at a gym nearby. I may be fat, but I'm certainly not disillusioned - I am in dire need of a healthier lifestyle. I know it and my body certainly knows it. Hehheh. Meanwhile, I'm still wondering where they got my number.

This is the end of privacy as we know it. Yes folks, Big Brother is watching. And he's watching all us Big Fat Brothers. (Gina, this better not be your doing!!! Heh!)


  1. hey, they're supposed to ask for your permission to call you first before they insult you!

  2. HHahahahHAHAHAHHHAHhahahhahhahHAHAHHahahahahhahHAHAhahahha.

  3. On the contrary, dude, 80% of the people in the gym are thin and lean. They are there to show off their well toned bodies. So, we pay to ogle at their bodies. Hahaha.
    My friend said, "Hey, those people are are dressed to the nines! I don't see any fat people there!"
    I said, "Who said so? I saw two fat people there. You and me".
    Try it. It helps in lowering your blood pressure. With James Junior coming, I think you need more than exercise to maintain stamina.

  4. Yes Lara. I think I'll need a receptionist to screen all my calls. "So, will you be insulting Mr. Tan today?"
    Dammit Gina, I knew it had to be you. I will be joining a gym near the office lah. Malas to travel all the way to KL just to punish myself.

  5. i want to apply for that post! *narf*

  6. James, you poor thing! Is this yet another new sales tactic - insulting potential customers? It's hilarious though... hee hee!

  7. Well, like I told you James, another branch of this gym will hit Ikano soon in October. So get your fat ass to the gym. Dont be jealous when you see me all svelte and trim. Kekekeke.

  8. muahahaha...i got that call too...but it was last year i think...and i went to the 1day workout thingy...till the end of the day when they found out that i was just a student...the sales fellow just ignored me and refused to even further explain the package to me..:P

  9. *ring* *ring*
    man : hello? who is this?
    autodialer : Fat man, fat man,
    you're a fat man (uh-huh)
    You can give your money to us when
    you wanna lose some weight.
    Fat man, Fat man, (uh) you're my mat
    man (uh-huh)
    man : #$%^&%$#
    a case of bad advertising

  10. Svelte and trim, huh Gina? Hehheh! I wonder why... :lol:
    Kakakkaka!!! I suppose you're a bad investment for their kind, Glinar!
    :lol: Natasha, where do you get your inspiration?