Jesse Of The Pigs

Sometimes when Jesse gets a little difficult, which can be quite often given his headstrong personality, I tell Mae we should just throw him away into the forest where he will be brought up by a herd of pigs. Hahhah!

It's like a Tarzan story minus the apes.

While Tarzan of The Apes can swing from tree to tree, Jesse of The Pigs will be content just wallowing in the mud and making a mess of himself. And while Tarzan pounds his chest and shouts, "Kreeg-ah Bundolo!", Jesse will just scurry around going "Oink, Oink!"

While we're on the subject, writer Edgar Rice Burroughs must have been on drugs or something. Why on earth would Tarzan shout, "Kreeg-ah Bundolo" anyway? Apes obviously don't say that, so where would he have learnt it from? Incidentally the words mean, "Beware, kill". What about the rest of his vocabulary? What would Tarzan say if he was feeling a little constipated? And what curses would he shout if he snagged his loincloth on an elephant tusk?

Mae hates it when I call our son Jesse of The Pigs. "Stop calling him that," she'd say. Yet whenever I tell her a Jesse of The Pigs story, she'd roll on the floor, laughing her butt off. Heh! Still, I doubt if Disney will be rushing to make this into an animated feature.