Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Dressed To Kill

On Sunday, our church celebrated it's 25th anniversary. Being the silver jubilee, we were pretty much asked to dress up. Which was probably a good idea since most of us church folks are so simple that we're bordering on sloppy. I speak for myself of course, since Mae is fair too vain to be sloppy.

Anyway the dresscode was formal. Mae was dressed to kill. So was I, though in an entirely different way.

Mae had on a short little black cheongsam. Me, I wore a cheap black polyester suit which I had bought many, many years ago. To make sure I got the full slimming effect (God knows I need it), I opted for a black shirt and a gaudy gold tie (Okay, so it's the only one I have that hasn't gone out of fashion entirely). And for that extra cool, I left the suit jacket buttons open.

Okay! Okay! So the damn jacket's getting a little too small for me. The last time I wore it was during our wedding. Back then it fit me just fine, with all the appropriate slack in all the right places. This time, however, if I buttoned up I'd look like an overweight buffalo with bad polyester skin.

Sometimes I pity Mae. She married this tall, dark and handsome young man Okay, so maybe not tall and handsome but I was a whole lot slimmer then and probably more pleasantless repulsive to the eye. These days, she wakes up with an overgrown hippo with a bad haircut. I've put on so much weight I even disgust myself sometimes. And I guess subconsciously, I started depriving myself of stuff - like a new wardrobe. Which explains the gaudy gold tie from 6 seasons back!

I have to do something. But you know what they say: The spirit is willing but the flesh is too damn massive to get moving. I better drag my ass to a gym while I can still fit in their front door. Here's hoping.


  1. Oh James, you got me kehkehkeh-ing so hard. You are soooo farny this time. Nothing like a good laugh at our ownself, eh? My atm married this lanky, thin-thin girl with gorgeous pair of legs too but now.....(i shall leave it for my own blog next time)

  2. Hehhee...no worries James. Fat is good. Prosperous mah!

  3. james! fitness first is all the rage:) but, hm, maybe it's not wise to spend so much on self-pleasures when you have a child to raise. :) just be a good husband la:) mae and your blog readers will still love you no less!
    why blog readers you ask? because when you're a good husband you're nice to mae(and the stories are all very touching) and when you're a good husband we get more cute good father and baby jesse stories to read:) kudos ol' james!

  4. Twinsdad will be very envy to you, he have been trying to put on weight since we married, even thought about taking Appeton to put on weight :P, now with the girls, he lagi thinner than last time. (James: "wei! apa makna you? I try to loose weight, you come here to add salt.") :pPpPp

  5. fat? dare to disclose exactly how many kg?
    hey, i read about your church's silver jubilee celebration in the star paper (got pictures too). i went to irene's blog and expect to see her blogging about it but she didn't. maybe she didn't attend?

  6. I have put on a lot of weight too. Probably we ought to make a pack, you know. Like how many kgs in a month, then we go celebrate. If not in the name of vanity, we do it for our escalating blood pressure.

  7. Mana photos??? Just wanna see Mae, you arr ... next time lah~! :)

  8. I have a Fitness First Uptown membership to transfer if you are interested.....

  9. hehe... you could try lifting jesse 50 times a day? as he gets bigger... you'll shed more weight!
    black shirt n gaudy gold tie???? somebody call the fashion police!!

    it is time..!!!!!!!!!!! I feel that all guys would have to go through this... its good that you have the conviction...:P... now its time to act... I propose a simple everyday 5 mins workout in the morning.... 20 push-ups and 50 sit-ups... and that's all but make sure you do it everyday..:D... It works.... trust me...
    but then i've been slacking of too... and stacking on the pounds... *sigh...
    Oh well... must push myself harder tomorrow morning..:D

  11. its time to call upon the FAB 5 :p

  12. Haha, I can imagine how you both looked like ... :p

  13. No more home-cooked char kuay teow and frogs legs for James. Tsk! Tsk!

  14. You must still eat, but healthier food. And lesser portions. Cut down CKT, BKT KFC, etc.
    Our body ain't like how it used to function 10 years ago. Age slows down metabolisme and that causes a lot of problems, not only on the esthethics. Start popping vitamin pills, exercise and be fussier with what you put in your mouth. Takes a whole lotta discipline and patience but you'll feel better about yourself.

  15. Nevermind James! More of you to love! =)
    Least thats what i tell my boyfriend when he starts hinting that i'm putting on the kilos ;)

  16. Lilian, I can't wait!
    Nah, Cherry. You wouldn't wanna be prosperous that way now, would you.
    That's nice of you to say Jayelle. I would buy you a good meal if I weren't on a diet! :lol:
    :lol: Twinsmom, you better tell Twinsdad to be careful what he wishes for. Last time I was so skinny, my nickname was Bones.
    Lucia, check out coolcatalyst.com. Irene's there too. And fyi, my weight currently stands at 80-ish kgs which is a heckuva lot!
    Gina: Deal! Start today.
    Oh Gwen, if I posted Mae's photo here, it'll be the last time I ever use my fingers again. :lol:
    Thanks for the offer Husband. But I'll be signing up for a small gym a stone's throw away from my office. It's the only way I can be sure I'll be there. :)
    :lol: CC. They'll hang me for some of my infractions.
    When you get to my age, Alvink, all you wanna do is eat and sleep. Hahahahh!
    BabeKL, I need Xtreme Makeover more that the Fab 5!
    Were you there, Deborah?
    I'd rather die than give up Char Kuey Teow, Mumsgather. Hahhahah. Looks like there's no hope for me now.
    That's easy for you to say AhPink, since you're stick-thin!
    Hahahha, but the funny thing is, the people with more to love usually have less people to love them, Annu.