Even after I took that step of faith four years ago, at the back of my mind I wondered if God really, truly spoke. These thoughts cast a foreboding shadow on my new-found belief. What if it's all just a big, fat, hairy joke?
The early part of 2001 had been a particularly rough year. I found myself questioning God. Right there at my desk, in the office.
"C'mon, Dude, are you really for real?" No answer. Not a peep. Not even a squeak.
I had bought the bloody ticket and now I want the show!!! I wanted it all. The thunder and lightning. The rolling dark clouds. The fire and brimstones. The loud booming voice from heaven. Even if God had appeared before me just to strike me blind, it would have been worth it.
"C'mon, gimme all you got!!" But nope. Not a peek. Not even a squeak.
"Feh!" I gave up. I was never gonna hear from God. I felt like shit that day but I wasn't gonna let anything get me down. I picked up The Star and flipped right to the cartoons section for some instant cheering up.
That was April 20th, 2001. There was no big show that day. No pyrotechnics. No fanfare. Not a peek. And not even a squeak.
But somehow I knew that day, that God had spoken to me.