"Honey, I have something you should read. Hurry!!" Mae was bursting at the seams to share her latest discovery. She had been reading a pregnancy book.
Apparently, towards the advanced stages of pregnancy it's not a good idea to simulate a baby suckling. You'll have to forgive me for that clumsy sentence structure. It's not often that I need to describe such a thing. But I think, essentially it means that a heavily pregnant woman (or her partner) should refrain from squeezing, pulling or heck, even sucking at her nipples.
This sends a "baby-needs-milk" signal to her brain, which in turns send a command to her breasts to produce milk. Subsequently, that sends a signal to her body which basically tells her, where there's milk, there's gotta be a baby. And before you know it, contractions begin and she gives birth, whether or not the baby's ready. Premature birth. Wow! I had no idea!!!
Looks like we'll have to take the necessary precautions. *ahem*
In other news a good friend Pip, and his wife Estella (not their real names) are expecting their firstborn today. I distinctly remember him say she was due end July. Hmm. Looks like a premature birth. But hey, let's not even speculate why. Hhehhehhh!!!
UPDATE:
Judging from the comments, I'm inclined to think that most of don't believe this post! You must think I'm a perv with an overactive imagination. Thankfully, I managed to find something on the net that corroborates with my writing. Go here to set your mind at ease. It says, and I quote "Nipple stimulation in pregnancy can cause uterine contractions and could induce labor". I may be a perv, but I sure wasn't imagining this. Hehhehhehh!!!
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Monday, June 28, 2004
One For The Road
We're thinking of another holiday. I know, I know, Mae and I were in Taiping not long ago. And then we went to Hanoi. But as D-Day (D for delivery, okay) approaches, Mae's been wistfully longing for one last holiday. We're both gonna be homebound for quite a bit when Baby arrives so if we're ever to go anywhere, it's now or never.
We agreed that it would be a short trip. Somewhere near, say 1 - 2 hours from KL. A nice small town would be a great change of pace for us. But it has to be near. Any further might be too big a risk. What if Baby decides to come out early while we're on the road?
"You could always deliver him, couldn't you?" Mae suggests, adamant about going away. There's no talking to this woman once her mind is made up.
And what? Rinse off Baby with our bottle of Mineral Water? Gnaw off the blood soaked umbilical cord with my teeth? Hahahha!!! As cool as that would be, I think I'l pass. :)
Anyone's got any suggestions? Nice, small town. With a clean hotel, ideally 3-star or thereabouts. And good food, which is a must! Anyone? If we take your suggestion, we'll name our firstborn after you.
I'm kidding. Hahahhahah! Mae will kill me. We won't name Baby after you, but you will have all our eternal gratitude. And that is always a good thing, no?
We agreed that it would be a short trip. Somewhere near, say 1 - 2 hours from KL. A nice small town would be a great change of pace for us. But it has to be near. Any further might be too big a risk. What if Baby decides to come out early while we're on the road?
"You could always deliver him, couldn't you?" Mae suggests, adamant about going away. There's no talking to this woman once her mind is made up.
And what? Rinse off Baby with our bottle of Mineral Water? Gnaw off the blood soaked umbilical cord with my teeth? Hahahha!!! As cool as that would be, I think I'l pass. :)
Anyone's got any suggestions? Nice, small town. With a clean hotel, ideally 3-star or thereabouts. And good food, which is a must! Anyone? If we take your suggestion, we'll name our firstborn after you.
I'm kidding. Hahahhahah! Mae will kill me. We won't name Baby after you, but you will have all our eternal gratitude. And that is always a good thing, no?
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Divine Interjections: 14
The 14 days are up! Finally. This also means that my Divine Interjections "miniseries" comes to an end tonight. The finale.
I never really had big questions about God and all. But by the turn of the century (I've always wanted to say this) things had started happening in my life. Big things. I had started to wonder if God existed. Life had gotten really shitty.
I was at a point in my life when I didn't anything. A girlfriend ditched me. My car got stolen. Work was terrible. I was living in a room in my brother's house. I didn't have a saving. And the insurance claim for the car was taking ages to process. I had only just begun, but I was dropping out of church. And I wasn't hearing from God.
"C'mon Dude, are you there or not? Give me a sign. Please." I was desperate. I needed God. And I needed an affirmation. But as usual, God did not answer. Not a peep. Not a squeak.
The next day, I get into the office late. I had lost the zest for life. And I sure as heck didn't feel like working. They tell me my insurance called up regarding my claim. I had insured my car for RM 50,000 but at the time it got stolen the damn car was worth only RM 33,000. The guy had told me that at most I'd get RM 35,000. Pay off what I owe the bank, pay off my company's advance for my new (used) car, I should have about RM 5,000 left which would probably go into a new set of tyres and a much-needed paint job for the new car. What good news could he possibly have for me?
I called him back.
"Mr. Tan, your claim is approved." I cut to the chase. "How much?"
"RM 48,000."
"What?" I must have heard him wrong. Did he say 28?
"RM 48,000," He repeated slowly. "It's the best we can do, sir," the poor fellow was apologetic. I assured him I was fine. But my head was swimming. RM 48,000. That's 96% of my sum insured. My agent tells me its the highest claim ever. The poor sod lost his car and he got only 80%!
With that money, I bought a small condo and married Mae. Not immediately, of course. Hehhehh.
But that weekend I went back to church. I had to. RM 48,000 is not just a sign. It was a bop on the head.
I never really had big questions about God and all. But by the turn of the century (I've always wanted to say this) things had started happening in my life. Big things. I had started to wonder if God existed. Life had gotten really shitty.
I was at a point in my life when I didn't anything. A girlfriend ditched me. My car got stolen. Work was terrible. I was living in a room in my brother's house. I didn't have a saving. And the insurance claim for the car was taking ages to process. I had only just begun, but I was dropping out of church. And I wasn't hearing from God.
"C'mon Dude, are you there or not? Give me a sign. Please." I was desperate. I needed God. And I needed an affirmation. But as usual, God did not answer. Not a peep. Not a squeak.
The next day, I get into the office late. I had lost the zest for life. And I sure as heck didn't feel like working. They tell me my insurance called up regarding my claim. I had insured my car for RM 50,000 but at the time it got stolen the damn car was worth only RM 33,000. The guy had told me that at most I'd get RM 35,000. Pay off what I owe the bank, pay off my company's advance for my new (used) car, I should have about RM 5,000 left which would probably go into a new set of tyres and a much-needed paint job for the new car. What good news could he possibly have for me?
I called him back.
"Mr. Tan, your claim is approved." I cut to the chase. "How much?"
"RM 48,000."
"What?" I must have heard him wrong. Did he say 28?
"RM 48,000," He repeated slowly. "It's the best we can do, sir," the poor fellow was apologetic. I assured him I was fine. But my head was swimming. RM 48,000. That's 96% of my sum insured. My agent tells me its the highest claim ever. The poor sod lost his car and he got only 80%!
With that money, I bought a small condo and married Mae. Not immediately, of course. Hehhehh.
But that weekend I went back to church. I had to. RM 48,000 is not just a sign. It was a bop on the head.
Saturday, June 26, 2004
Divine Interjections: 13
It was gonna be a pretty wedding. The beautiful bride in romantic white gown and a flowing veil. The dashing (ahem) groom in a classic 3-piece black suit. Pretty little flower girls, an adorable little page-boy, beautiful flower arrangements, candles, family and friends, and a wedding in a garden under a big acacia tree.
That was the day we got married back in 2002. That was the day it rained on our parade. Literally.
The garden was all set. The flowers and the deco up. The show was to start at 5. And at 4 it rained. It rained like never before. It rained cats and dogs. And it rained for seven months.
For seven months we were disappointed. We had prayed for good weather. We prayed that God would hold back the rain for our big day. And for weeks it didn't rain. It rained on our wedding day. 10 months of planning washed away in the rain. God was mocking us. And we were angry at God.
We were so angry, we saw only rain. We didn't see our friends scrambling to take our flowers indoor. We didn't see our friends braving the rain to save our deco. We didn't see our family launching into plan B to save our wedding. We didn't see our guest enduring the discomfort just to give us moral support.
It took us seven months to make peace with God. I took us seven months to learn that the marriage was more important than the wedding. Seven months to realised that we had some real good family and friends. I'm sure a few of them might have been laughing behind our backs, "Serves you right, stupids!" but after seven months we could see only good. :)
God gave us rain on our wedding. But thanks to the same God, it's been sun-shiny ever since.
That was the day we got married back in 2002. That was the day it rained on our parade. Literally.
The garden was all set. The flowers and the deco up. The show was to start at 5. And at 4 it rained. It rained like never before. It rained cats and dogs. And it rained for seven months.
For seven months we were disappointed. We had prayed for good weather. We prayed that God would hold back the rain for our big day. And for weeks it didn't rain. It rained on our wedding day. 10 months of planning washed away in the rain. God was mocking us. And we were angry at God.
We were so angry, we saw only rain. We didn't see our friends scrambling to take our flowers indoor. We didn't see our friends braving the rain to save our deco. We didn't see our family launching into plan B to save our wedding. We didn't see our guest enduring the discomfort just to give us moral support.
It took us seven months to make peace with God. I took us seven months to learn that the marriage was more important than the wedding. Seven months to realised that we had some real good family and friends. I'm sure a few of them might have been laughing behind our backs, "Serves you right, stupids!" but after seven months we could see only good. :)
God gave us rain on our wedding. But thanks to the same God, it's been sun-shiny ever since.
Friday, June 25, 2004
Divine Interjections: 12
It just occured to me when Baby gets born, he won't have a religion.
Whoa. Information overload. How weird is that?
When Baby is born, he will be without a religion. I've never thought of it that way before. I don't know why. It's strange, but I always assumed that Baby will be Christian. But the truth is, he won't be.
We'll take Baby for prayers. We'll try to bring him up with whatever values we gather from the Good Book. But ultimately, Baby will have to make that choice on his own - whether to be a Christian or otherwise. It will be one of the most important decision in his life and unfortunately, one which we cannot make for him. It feels strange in a surreal kind of way, that we have no part in this part of his life.
It is Baby's birthright to worship God. But whether or not he chooses to, has got to come from him when he is able (read: mature enough) to make a conscious decision. Otherwise it would be without meaning.
Man, what a burden that must be. Mae and I can only pray that he does well.
Choose well, my son. *ahem* I always wanted to say that!
Whoa. Information overload. How weird is that?
When Baby is born, he will be without a religion. I've never thought of it that way before. I don't know why. It's strange, but I always assumed that Baby will be Christian. But the truth is, he won't be.
We'll take Baby for prayers. We'll try to bring him up with whatever values we gather from the Good Book. But ultimately, Baby will have to make that choice on his own - whether to be a Christian or otherwise. It will be one of the most important decision in his life and unfortunately, one which we cannot make for him. It feels strange in a surreal kind of way, that we have no part in this part of his life.
It is Baby's birthright to worship God. But whether or not he chooses to, has got to come from him when he is able (read: mature enough) to make a conscious decision. Otherwise it would be without meaning.
Man, what a burden that must be. Mae and I can only pray that he does well.
Choose well, my son. *ahem* I always wanted to say that!
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Divine Interjections: 11
the name of an angel
Today, I took a little recce trip at the House of Joy children's home to make sure the place was suitable for our little home movie thingy. There I met the admin and PR lady of the House of Joy.
We chatted a little while she showed me the premises in which we would have our movie. I asked her if any cinema or corporate sponsor had ever brought the kids out to the movies.
"We saw Nemo," she said, which was quite a while back, I thought. Then she added, "But I think the kids will really enjoy Spiderman!"
As she said that, her eyes lit up with excitement. She was happy for the kids. I felt her joy. The kind of joy you would find in mothers, over their children. It overwhelmed me, her selflessness.
At that moment, I knew I had just seen God. He was right there in her eyes.
Divine Interjections: 10
As I was on my way to becoming a full-fledged, bona fide Christian, I was told that one of the things required of us was that we had to go out and spread the gospel and tell people of the love of God. Ackkk!!! I was mortified! What a nerdy thing to do.
But these days, I actually do feel like doing just that. No, it doesn't mean I'm gonna grab a bible and come knocking at anyone's door anytime. But if anyone were to come up to me and say, "Hey, tell me about this whole Jesus thing," I'd be most happy to oblige.
But beyond that, I also think that it'd be nice to spread a little love out there.
Recently, a cell group (the church kind - you can never be too sure!) that I go to, has decided that we'd do just that - spread a little love. We'd be visiting an orphanage. But here's where it get's really cool. We're gonna be bringing these poor kids a cinematic experience; we're bringing a cinema into their home!!
Big screen projection. Surround sound. Soft drinks. Something to munch. And Spiderman!!! Woohoo!
A lot of these kids have never ever been to the cinema. And we think that this would be a really nice treat for them. There are about 60 of them, aged mostly between 12 - 17 years old. Sure we could donate clothes, food and toiletries, but we believe that something like this could really be wonderful for the kids. At least for a couple of hours we could whisk them off to life they have never had.
We're not gonna get preachy. And we're not gonna be shoving the bible down anyone's throat. We're just gonna spread a little love and joy around the place. And we're gonna tell them that God made us do it. :) But yes, we're also gonna be bringing some clothes, food and toiletries. Too bad we couldn't figure out how to get them some popcorn. Still, I think the kids will love it.
Am I the love machine or what? :)
But these days, I actually do feel like doing just that. No, it doesn't mean I'm gonna grab a bible and come knocking at anyone's door anytime. But if anyone were to come up to me and say, "Hey, tell me about this whole Jesus thing," I'd be most happy to oblige.
But beyond that, I also think that it'd be nice to spread a little love out there.
Recently, a cell group (the church kind - you can never be too sure!) that I go to, has decided that we'd do just that - spread a little love. We'd be visiting an orphanage. But here's where it get's really cool. We're gonna be bringing these poor kids a cinematic experience; we're bringing a cinema into their home!!
Big screen projection. Surround sound. Soft drinks. Something to munch. And Spiderman!!! Woohoo!
A lot of these kids have never ever been to the cinema. And we think that this would be a really nice treat for them. There are about 60 of them, aged mostly between 12 - 17 years old. Sure we could donate clothes, food and toiletries, but we believe that something like this could really be wonderful for the kids. At least for a couple of hours we could whisk them off to life they have never had.
We're not gonna get preachy. And we're not gonna be shoving the bible down anyone's throat. We're just gonna spread a little love and joy around the place. And we're gonna tell them that God made us do it. :) But yes, we're also gonna be bringing some clothes, food and toiletries. Too bad we couldn't figure out how to get them some popcorn. Still, I think the kids will love it.
Am I the love machine or what? :)
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Divine Interjections: 09
People are very curious of one another's beliefs. A lot of the times, people just wanna know why. Why, oh why, oh why?
Once, a buddy posed an all-time favourite. "If God exists, why is there suffering in the world?" So I answered in the only way I know how. "I dunno. Maybe He hates you." Hahahahhahahah!!!!
Who can resist? Hahahhaha!!!
I guess that's what you get when you ask me these BIG question. Fact is, I really don't know. And I'm not about to pretend that I do. Even if I did attempt to give you a serious answer, would you truly be satisfied?
I know I wasn't. Even now, as a Christian, I don't think I can answer that - at least not to anyone's satisfaction.
So, what can I tell you about God? I can tell you of the peace that fills my heart. I can tell you of the joy that fills my soul. And I can tell you of the completeness that fills my life. But no, I can't tell you why there is suffering in the world. Not to your satisfaction.
And no, God probably doesn't hate you. I was kidding.
Once, a buddy posed an all-time favourite. "If God exists, why is there suffering in the world?" So I answered in the only way I know how. "I dunno. Maybe He hates you." Hahahahhahahah!!!!
Who can resist? Hahahhaha!!!
I guess that's what you get when you ask me these BIG question. Fact is, I really don't know. And I'm not about to pretend that I do. Even if I did attempt to give you a serious answer, would you truly be satisfied?
I know I wasn't. Even now, as a Christian, I don't think I can answer that - at least not to anyone's satisfaction.
So, what can I tell you about God? I can tell you of the peace that fills my heart. I can tell you of the joy that fills my soul. And I can tell you of the completeness that fills my life. But no, I can't tell you why there is suffering in the world. Not to your satisfaction.
And no, God probably doesn't hate you. I was kidding.
Divine Interjections: 08
Okay. I'm no theologian, but I do have a theory about prayer. Anyone who says God answers all prayers have forgotten to mention the fine print: Terms and Conditions apply.
Somehow I think self-serving prayers don't work out. "Father in Heaven, make me the most powerful man on earth!" No way God's gonna grant that. "How about I make you the most powerful man in the public toilet?"
And probably, materialistic prayers.
"Dear Lord, can I have a Harley Davidson Fatboy?" And you actually believe it'll happen, that is, until God brings you right back down to earth. "Naaah, I see you as more of a Honda Cub kinda guy."
And if you were thinking of some vanity prayer, you had better think again. "God, make me beautiful." Don't forget God made all things, and He made all things beautiful. That includes frogs. And cows. And bugs.
But yes, God does answer prayers. But don't forget, Terms & Conditions apply.
Somehow I think self-serving prayers don't work out. "Father in Heaven, make me the most powerful man on earth!" No way God's gonna grant that. "How about I make you the most powerful man in the public toilet?"
And probably, materialistic prayers.
"Dear Lord, can I have a Harley Davidson Fatboy?" And you actually believe it'll happen, that is, until God brings you right back down to earth. "Naaah, I see you as more of a Honda Cub kinda guy."
And if you were thinking of some vanity prayer, you had better think again. "God, make me beautiful." Don't forget God made all things, and He made all things beautiful. That includes frogs. And cows. And bugs.
But yes, God does answer prayers. But don't forget, Terms & Conditions apply.
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Divine Interjections: 07
Fatherhood is daunting. At this point in my life, being at the brink of such a huge responsibility scares me no end. What does it take to be a good father?
I never did have much of a relationship with my father. He left when I was only still a baby. And so I grew up pretty much without a father in my life. The few times that he WAS in my life had been moments best forgotten. We just never got along.
God came into my life when I was 29. Suddenly I discover the Father I never knew. And yet I had my issues with This One as well.
"Where were You?" I needed to know. "Where were you when life was so shitty?"
No answer. No explanation. Nothing.
Typical.
At 29, I was an angry young man. Too angry to see any good in my life. To angry to notice that God had been there all along.
He was there when mom tried to abort me. He was there on my 10th birthday when a few 17 year-old tenants at our house helped mom throw me the biggest birthday party of my life. He was there when I decided to go to design school. He was there when I got my first job. He was there when I met Mae. And he was there when we caught the first glimpse of Baby.
No explanation. Just a couple of revelations every now and then. And only whenever I ask.
For many years, I held a grudge in my heart towards dad. I was angry that he left. I was angry that he kept disappointing me. But I realised that most of all, I was angry that he was so... human.
And The Other One was so... God.
Today I'm on talking terms to them both - minus the anger. We don't have the ideal relationship but we're working on it. We're communicating. Perhaps that's all it takes to be a good father.
Happy Father's Day.
I never did have much of a relationship with my father. He left when I was only still a baby. And so I grew up pretty much without a father in my life. The few times that he WAS in my life had been moments best forgotten. We just never got along.
God came into my life when I was 29. Suddenly I discover the Father I never knew. And yet I had my issues with This One as well.
"Where were You?" I needed to know. "Where were you when life was so shitty?"
No answer. No explanation. Nothing.
Typical.
At 29, I was an angry young man. Too angry to see any good in my life. To angry to notice that God had been there all along.
He was there when mom tried to abort me. He was there on my 10th birthday when a few 17 year-old tenants at our house helped mom throw me the biggest birthday party of my life. He was there when I decided to go to design school. He was there when I got my first job. He was there when I met Mae. And he was there when we caught the first glimpse of Baby.
No explanation. Just a couple of revelations every now and then. And only whenever I ask.
For many years, I held a grudge in my heart towards dad. I was angry that he left. I was angry that he kept disappointing me. But I realised that most of all, I was angry that he was so... human.
And The Other One was so... God.
Today I'm on talking terms to them both - minus the anger. We don't have the ideal relationship but we're working on it. We're communicating. Perhaps that's all it takes to be a good father.
Happy Father's Day.
Divine Interjections: 06
A lot of religious people are convinced that they hear from God. I had always been a skeptic. Could it be truly God speaking, or is it just some psychiatric condition? And if it's really possible to hear from God, what would he say?
Even after I took that step of faith four years ago, at the back of my mind I wondered if God really, truly spoke. These thoughts cast a foreboding shadow on my new-found belief. What if it's all just a big, fat, hairy joke?
The early part of 2001 had been a particularly rough year. I found myself questioning God. Right there at my desk, in the office.
"C'mon, Dude, are you really for real?" No answer. Not a peep. Not even a squeak.
I had bought the bloody ticket and now I want the show!!! I wanted it all. The thunder and lightning. The rolling dark clouds. The fire and brimstones. The loud booming voice from heaven. Even if God had appeared before me just to strike me blind, it would have been worth it.
"C'mon, gimme all you got!!" But nope. Not a peek. Not even a squeak.
"Feh!" I gave up. I was never gonna hear from God. I felt like shit that day but I wasn't gonna let anything get me down. I picked up The Star and flipped right to the cartoons section for some instant cheering up.
That was April 20th, 2001. There was no big show that day. No pyrotechnics. No fanfare. Not a peek. And not even a squeak.
But somehow I knew that day, that God had spoken to me.
Even after I took that step of faith four years ago, at the back of my mind I wondered if God really, truly spoke. These thoughts cast a foreboding shadow on my new-found belief. What if it's all just a big, fat, hairy joke?
The early part of 2001 had been a particularly rough year. I found myself questioning God. Right there at my desk, in the office.
"C'mon, Dude, are you really for real?" No answer. Not a peep. Not even a squeak.
I had bought the bloody ticket and now I want the show!!! I wanted it all. The thunder and lightning. The rolling dark clouds. The fire and brimstones. The loud booming voice from heaven. Even if God had appeared before me just to strike me blind, it would have been worth it.
"C'mon, gimme all you got!!" But nope. Not a peek. Not even a squeak.
"Feh!" I gave up. I was never gonna hear from God. I felt like shit that day but I wasn't gonna let anything get me down. I picked up The Star and flipped right to the cartoons section for some instant cheering up.
That was April 20th, 2001. There was no big show that day. No pyrotechnics. No fanfare. Not a peek. And not even a squeak.
But somehow I knew that day, that God had spoken to me.
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Divine Interjections: 05
Here's the reason I haven't been blogging for the last couple of days. What you see here part of the title design for my church DUMC's August drama production.I've been a graphic designer for 11 years now. It's a thing I've always loved. Even as a kid, I was always doodling and drawing. Going to graphic design school and subsequently landing a job as a graphic designer are some of the highlights of my life.
These days, I contribute a bit of time doing design work for the church. To me, it's like giving back to God a little of what He gave to me. God doesn't really need my work, of course. But it's nice to know I can contribute, even in the smallest of ways.
It's a good thing when people are affected positively by my work. Hey, it pays the bills. :) But in the church context, I do it for free. No money involved, and yet, strangely, it satisfies me far more than anything I do professionally.
I'm finally growing up.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Divine Interjections: 04
Mae and I like to pray for Baby, you know, to bless the little guy so that he'll have a good start in life. Thank God for Mae, Baby gets a regular dose of blessing everyday. Me, I'm just not as consistent as I'd like to be. :(
Anyway, in my prayers (whenever I get round to it) I ask God to bless Baby with love. With all earnestness I ask of God, "May Baby find love wherever he goes."
Suddenly the earth trembles beneath my feet. Thunder and lightning crackle and crash as a raging tempest fills the sky. Dark clouds part in the heavens revealing a flash of blinding light. And then a loud voice booms across the whole earth. "HEAR MY WORDS!! DON'T BUY SQUEAKY SHOES. NOBODY LOVES A KID WITH SQUEAKY SHOES." God had spoken.
But seriously, I do pray that Baby finds love everywhere he goes. It's like a catch-all, cover-all-bases kind of request. Now I won't have to worry about Baby every finding the girl of his dreams someday, when he grows up. They'll be lining up for him. *ahem*
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return. Okay. I ripped that off from Moulin Rouge. I don't think I could have said it better. Love is the remedy for loneliness.
But that said, as far as I'm concerned, the only way Baby will ever find love is simply to be lovable. It would be tragic if Baby turned out to be a boorish, arrogant, cruel, insufferable little snot. So we pray that Baby will have a heart of compassion, love and joy. We pray that he will be kind. And polite. And obedient. We pray that Baby will have a great sense of humour (cos it's easier to love a funny guy)! And we pray that Baby will discover God's love for that is the greatest love of all. And with God's love Baby will, in turn, learn to love.
May Baby find love wherever he goes. Even if he goes in squeaky shoes.
Anyway, in my prayers (whenever I get round to it) I ask God to bless Baby with love. With all earnestness I ask of God, "May Baby find love wherever he goes."
Suddenly the earth trembles beneath my feet. Thunder and lightning crackle and crash as a raging tempest fills the sky. Dark clouds part in the heavens revealing a flash of blinding light. And then a loud voice booms across the whole earth. "HEAR MY WORDS!! DON'T BUY SQUEAKY SHOES. NOBODY LOVES A KID WITH SQUEAKY SHOES." God had spoken.
But seriously, I do pray that Baby finds love everywhere he goes. It's like a catch-all, cover-all-bases kind of request. Now I won't have to worry about Baby every finding the girl of his dreams someday, when he grows up. They'll be lining up for him. *ahem*
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return. Okay. I ripped that off from Moulin Rouge. I don't think I could have said it better. Love is the remedy for loneliness.
But that said, as far as I'm concerned, the only way Baby will ever find love is simply to be lovable. It would be tragic if Baby turned out to be a boorish, arrogant, cruel, insufferable little snot. So we pray that Baby will have a heart of compassion, love and joy. We pray that he will be kind. And polite. And obedient. We pray that Baby will have a great sense of humour (cos it's easier to love a funny guy)! And we pray that Baby will discover God's love for that is the greatest love of all. And with God's love Baby will, in turn, learn to love.
May Baby find love wherever he goes. Even if he goes in squeaky shoes.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Divine Interjections: 03
an artifact of a forgotten life
I always thought that Christians were not allowed to smoke. I was wrong, of course. The bible says nothing about smoking. But it does say that we should not defile our bodies. After all, our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit.
I was a chain smoker. Being in the ad industry didn't help much. At the last count, I was smoking 3 packs a day, everyday. The addiction was so bad that I couldn't function properly without a ciggy in my mouth. There were days when I'd work late in the office after everyone had left and when I ran out of cigarettes, I'd dig the ashtrays for any half-smoked butt just to get my fix. *ahem* I'm not proud but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
When I first chose to become a Christian, I decided that I would smoke anyway. After all, if my body was the temple of the Holy Spirit, surely it's okay to light up some "incense" every now and then. Hehhehh!! So there in my twisted logic, I continued puffing my life away.
But then at 3 packs a day, it does get to you. I'd cough up thick, dark phlegm every morning. I ran out of breath easily. Occasionally I'd even cough up a little blood. And yet, no force on earth could make me quit.
And then I met Mae.
After going out for awhile, she told me that my excessive smoking bothered her. "You can smoke all you want but don't make me a young widow."
Dammit she was right! I could kill myself with all that smoking but she'd be the one to suffer. I had always been pro-choice but I realise right then that the choices we make for ourselves will inadvertently affect someone else - our parents, our wives, our kids.
So just like that I quit, cold turkey. It's been four years since. Clever girl, my wife. Truly God-sent.
Like I said, no force on earth could have made me quit smoking.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Divine Interjections: 02
Looking back at my last entry, somehow Weird Adventures lack a certain finesse. So I'm calling it Divine Interjections from now on. Yes, as a producer of the miniseries, I get to call these shots. Okay. Moving along...
I grew up with mom and her parents. We weren't terribly religious. On the other hand, my father's side of the family were. Now here was a bunch of guys who'd try anything once. We're pretty crazy that way. But then again, craziness is our birthright - we are after all, Hainanese. Hehhehh!
Dad's side of the family is a melting pot of religion and rituals. We've got the Taoists. The Buddhists are there too. We have a couple of Muslims. A Christian. And some of these guys had been around the block - religiously speaking, of course! They've tried a little Hinduism, some Shintoism and even a little Mahikari.
Somewhere in the mid-80s when Mahikari was all the rage, I dropped by my paternal Granny's for a visit.
My auntie took one look at me and said, "Do you know why you're so dark?"
By Chinese standards, I have very tanned skinned. I look nothing like a Chinese. In fact, time and time again I have been mistaken for a Malay. When I was in the Phillipines, they thought I was Cabayan. In Thailand, I'm Thai. So as you can imagine, I looked quite different from most of the family. If it weren't for the fact that I was a carbon-copy of Dad someone might have thought that Mom's had been up to no good!
"You're dark because you're full of evil inside."
I admit, I'm no angel. But surely I'm not so bad that I'm full of evil inside, am I? Hahahhahah!!! So, Aunty put her hand over my forehead and read a Mahikari chant. "See, you're glowing already," she said in a sage-like tone. "I just cleansed you."
She didn't stick with Mahikari for long. Didn't say why but still...Phew!
I grew up with mom and her parents. We weren't terribly religious. On the other hand, my father's side of the family were. Now here was a bunch of guys who'd try anything once. We're pretty crazy that way. But then again, craziness is our birthright - we are after all, Hainanese. Hehhehh!
Dad's side of the family is a melting pot of religion and rituals. We've got the Taoists. The Buddhists are there too. We have a couple of Muslims. A Christian. And some of these guys had been around the block - religiously speaking, of course! They've tried a little Hinduism, some Shintoism and even a little Mahikari.
Somewhere in the mid-80s when Mahikari was all the rage, I dropped by my paternal Granny's for a visit.
My auntie took one look at me and said, "Do you know why you're so dark?"
By Chinese standards, I have very tanned skinned. I look nothing like a Chinese. In fact, time and time again I have been mistaken for a Malay. When I was in the Phillipines, they thought I was Cabayan. In Thailand, I'm Thai. So as you can imagine, I looked quite different from most of the family. If it weren't for the fact that I was a carbon-copy of Dad someone might have thought that Mom's had been up to no good!
"You're dark because you're full of evil inside."
I admit, I'm no angel. But surely I'm not so bad that I'm full of evil inside, am I? Hahahhahah!!! So, Aunty put her hand over my forehead and read a Mahikari chant. "See, you're glowing already," she said in a sage-like tone. "I just cleansed you."
She didn't stick with Mahikari for long. Didn't say why but still...Phew!
Monday, June 14, 2004
Weird Adventures: 01
My family was never really big on religion. Sure, we'd light a few joss-sticks every now and then, or slaughter some chickens at every major Chinese festival. But no, we weren't all that religious.
Take Grandma for instance. Grandma prayed to the Goddess of Mercy. While most devotees refrained from eating beef, on account of the Goddess' Hindu traditions, Grandma never did.
"I like to eat," she says, "The Goddess of Mercy doesn't eat beef, but I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I did." Grandma always did have the most sensible explanation for things. And so, no, we were never all that religious. But like any good old-fashioned Chinese family, we were held on to tradition.
Grandma's biggest fear was that all her kids might someday turn to Christianity. Who then would send her off to her final resting place in accordance with Chinese customs? Who would make offerings to her after she goes? To her, praying to the ancestors was a sign of filial piety.
In the 80s, he daughter, my auntie became Christian. And hell broke loose in our household that day. And then my cousin became Christian. And another auntie. And then me. Fortunately, by then she had mellowed.
"So I guess you won't filial to me after I'm gone, will you?"
"No Grandma, I won't" I told her matter-of-factly. "But I'll be as nice to you as I possibly can for the rest of your life."
Take Grandma for instance. Grandma prayed to the Goddess of Mercy. While most devotees refrained from eating beef, on account of the Goddess' Hindu traditions, Grandma never did.
"I like to eat," she says, "The Goddess of Mercy doesn't eat beef, but I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I did." Grandma always did have the most sensible explanation for things. And so, no, we were never all that religious. But like any good old-fashioned Chinese family, we were held on to tradition.
Grandma's biggest fear was that all her kids might someday turn to Christianity. Who then would send her off to her final resting place in accordance with Chinese customs? Who would make offerings to her after she goes? To her, praying to the ancestors was a sign of filial piety.
In the 80s, he daughter, my auntie became Christian. And hell broke loose in our household that day. And then my cousin became Christian. And another auntie. And then me. Fortunately, by then she had mellowed.
"So I guess you won't filial to me after I'm gone, will you?"
"No Grandma, I won't" I told her matter-of-factly. "But I'll be as nice to you as I possibly can for the rest of your life."
14 Days
Today, my church DUMC is doing a 14-day fast & pray thingy. Basically, we're invited to fast and come to church at 5:30am to pray together. Mae and I have decided to join in the... erm... fun. However, we're still uncertain if we'll get to church at 5:30am. We didn't make it today.
Mae will not be fasting much since Baby's gonna need food throughout the day. I on the other hand, will attempt to fast a little more - maybe just water. Or perhaps no food from sunrise to sunset. God knows I could use a lot less food! *ahem*
But hey it's not all about eating less. We will be making a conscious effort to pray a little more. And without the encumbrances of eating, we just might pray more earnestly.
We'll be praying mostly for our little family. That Baby will have a safe and uneventful birth. That Mae will have a safe delivery. And yes, we'll be praying for a miracle that suddenly turns us into really great parents. Lo and behold, great parents!!! :)
Anyway for the next 14 days, in the spirit of this Fast & Pray thing I'll be giving you little glimpses of my own spiritual life - in 14 short little entries.
Weird Adventures With God. A 14-episode miniseries. In full colour.
Mae will not be fasting much since Baby's gonna need food throughout the day. I on the other hand, will attempt to fast a little more - maybe just water. Or perhaps no food from sunrise to sunset. God knows I could use a lot less food! *ahem*
But hey it's not all about eating less. We will be making a conscious effort to pray a little more. And without the encumbrances of eating, we just might pray more earnestly.
We'll be praying mostly for our little family. That Baby will have a safe and uneventful birth. That Mae will have a safe delivery. And yes, we'll be praying for a miracle that suddenly turns us into really great parents. Lo and behold, great parents!!! :)
Anyway for the next 14 days, in the spirit of this Fast & Pray thing I'll be giving you little glimpses of my own spiritual life - in 14 short little entries.
Weird Adventures With God. A 14-episode miniseries. In full colour.
Friday, June 11, 2004
Bonding
Yesterday was the last of our Ante-natal classes. We talked about breastfeeding.
Mother's milk is the best for baby. It's nourishing. It's safe. And it's probably delicious. Of course, I'm not exactly speaking with any authority as a Mother's Milk connoisseur. I'm just regurgitating what I learnt from the class and from books. I assure you I haven't had any for a while now! :)
Breastfed Babies form a closer bond with Mommies, according to the midwife who gave us the talk. It's a mother-baby privilege. But Daddies can bond with Baby in other ways. Daddies can change Baby's diapers. Daddies can do the laundry. Daddy can play fetch. Fetch, Daddy, fetch.
Yah right! Mommy gets to bond with Baby while Daddy gets to bond with Baby's shit. Is this a female propaganda or what?! Hahhahahha!! Yes, yes, yes, I know. Mommy has to give birth.
Anyway, Mae's decided on breastfeeding. As for me, it looks like I'll be wallowing in shit for some time. *sigh*
Baby better not be giving me shit when he grows up.
Mother's milk is the best for baby. It's nourishing. It's safe. And it's probably delicious. Of course, I'm not exactly speaking with any authority as a Mother's Milk connoisseur. I'm just regurgitating what I learnt from the class and from books. I assure you I haven't had any for a while now! :)
Breastfed Babies form a closer bond with Mommies, according to the midwife who gave us the talk. It's a mother-baby privilege. But Daddies can bond with Baby in other ways. Daddies can change Baby's diapers. Daddies can do the laundry. Daddy can play fetch. Fetch, Daddy, fetch.
Yah right! Mommy gets to bond with Baby while Daddy gets to bond with Baby's shit. Is this a female propaganda or what?! Hahhahahha!! Yes, yes, yes, I know. Mommy has to give birth.
Anyway, Mae's decided on breastfeeding. As for me, it looks like I'll be wallowing in shit for some time. *sigh*
Baby better not be giving me shit when he grows up.
Wednesday, June 9, 2004
Epidural
One of the most effective painkillers for childbirth is an Epidural. Essentially, it's an anaesthetic that is administered via a plastic tube that is inserted into the spinal column. Ouch! I'm thinking that can't be a lot of fun. But it helps a lot, so we're told.
But there are the risks. If the Anaesthetist screws up, Mae could end up with a life-long backache. And if he screws up big time, it could mean paralysis. The whole prospect of that happening, scares me. Paralysis. Even the word has a creepy tone.
Everybody tells us that probability of any complications happening is very low. The statistics say so. Doctors say so. "Every medical procedure has its risks," they say. Still, none of these offer me any comfort whatsoever.
Watching that stomach churning video (see previous post) had its effect on us. It didn't help Mae prepare for the pain any better. In fact, it freaked her out so much that she's convinced she wants an epidural. "I don't care. I want an epidural. I want an epidural," she was almost hysterical.
I snapped at her. "Stop that!"
I would never deny her anything that would alleviate her pain. Never. But the fact that someone might screw up the epidural scares me to death. "Honey, I'm not saying no but I just want you to give this thing the consideration it deserves."
The fact is, this really isn't my decision to make. I don't get to call the shots here simply because I will not be the one suffering. And if Mae should ever go into labour and she's kicking and screaming, she will have anything she wants, so help me God. Anything. Even the epidural.
I just pray she doesn't scream, "I want a Rolex!"
But there are the risks. If the Anaesthetist screws up, Mae could end up with a life-long backache. And if he screws up big time, it could mean paralysis. The whole prospect of that happening, scares me. Paralysis. Even the word has a creepy tone.
Everybody tells us that probability of any complications happening is very low. The statistics say so. Doctors say so. "Every medical procedure has its risks," they say. Still, none of these offer me any comfort whatsoever.
Watching that stomach churning video (see previous post) had its effect on us. It didn't help Mae prepare for the pain any better. In fact, it freaked her out so much that she's convinced she wants an epidural. "I don't care. I want an epidural. I want an epidural," she was almost hysterical.
I snapped at her. "Stop that!"
I would never deny her anything that would alleviate her pain. Never. But the fact that someone might screw up the epidural scares me to death. "Honey, I'm not saying no but I just want you to give this thing the consideration it deserves."
The fact is, this really isn't my decision to make. I don't get to call the shots here simply because I will not be the one suffering. And if Mae should ever go into labour and she's kicking and screaming, she will have anything she wants, so help me God. Anything. Even the epidural.
I just pray she doesn't scream, "I want a Rolex!"
Tuesday, June 8, 2004
No Pain, No Gain!
Last Thursday, our ante-natal class was the most interesting so far. The topic of the class that night was pain. And boy, it was an eye-opener.
I'll be honest here. Most of the time I'm pretty oblivious to the suffering a woman has to go through during childbirth. Sure I've read the books. And yes I've even seen the documentaries. But it never really sinks in. So I take it in my stride and convince myself that pain and suffering is just a thing women do. No big deal.
Anyway, somewhere in between sessions we broke for dinner.
After having our fill, we were ushered back into the lecture room. And then it happened. They played a video of a childbirth. Yes, it was a childbirth in progress and we got to see it in full, gory, glory. Whoa! Not quite what I'd like for an after-dinner entertainment. What on earth were they thinking?!
But that said, now that Mae's pregnant, it has all become very real to me. Suddenly, I am more aware of the suffering a woman has to endure. Suddenly, I understand the kind of sacrifice a woman makes to bring life into the world. And suddenly, as a soon-to-be father, a husband and a son, I have a brand new perspective of motherly love. Suddenly it all makes sense why mothers hurt so bad when their kids go astray. Now that I'm about to be a daddy, I understand.
And yeah, the video helped too.
I'll be honest here. Most of the time I'm pretty oblivious to the suffering a woman has to go through during childbirth. Sure I've read the books. And yes I've even seen the documentaries. But it never really sinks in. So I take it in my stride and convince myself that pain and suffering is just a thing women do. No big deal.
Anyway, somewhere in between sessions we broke for dinner.
After having our fill, we were ushered back into the lecture room. And then it happened. They played a video of a childbirth. Yes, it was a childbirth in progress and we got to see it in full, gory, glory. Whoa! Not quite what I'd like for an after-dinner entertainment. What on earth were they thinking?!
But that said, now that Mae's pregnant, it has all become very real to me. Suddenly, I am more aware of the suffering a woman has to endure. Suddenly, I understand the kind of sacrifice a woman makes to bring life into the world. And suddenly, as a soon-to-be father, a husband and a son, I have a brand new perspective of motherly love. Suddenly it all makes sense why mothers hurt so bad when their kids go astray. Now that I'm about to be a daddy, I understand.
And yeah, the video helped too.
Coliseum
now here's a happy meal!
On Sunday, Mae and I decided to treat ourselves to a little change of pace and environment. We ended up in Coliseum Cafe & Hotel in downtown KL. If you have ever heard of Coliseum, the you would know that its steak is legendary.
Coliseum was established in 1921. In its heyday, it was a popular hangout amongst the English officers. Today, pretty much everything in the place is as it was way back then. The architecture looks unchanged. The furniture looks like they're original. Heck, even the waiters look like they're the original line-up!! Heh! You'll see some of the oldest waiters here.
Mae and I have ourselves a sizzling steak fillet each. These come with a serving of mixed salad, chips and broccoli. They used to serve every meal with a thick slice of Coliseum's famous bread and their excellent creamy butter. But thanks to the years of rave reviews by food columnists, the bread is no longer free. Yes kids, you want bread, you pay!
We had one soup, two steak meals, a set of Coliseum's bread and a Pancake with Ice-Cream for dessert. All for RM 98.00 which is worth every penny. The meal was perfect, Mae and I agree unanimously. Mae finished her whole meal, which is as good a testimony as any. She blames it on Baby, of course! We've had steak at every reputable steak restaurant in KL and I must say, Coliseum is king! We decide there and then that this will be a monthly affair for us. :)
One of the beauty of Coliseum is surely its lack of pretension. Monogrammed plates hint at Coliseum's glory days of English sensibilities. Yes, this might have been a classy joint once upon a time. And yet within Coliseum's decaying, rustic decor you'll find the least... erm... refined staff in KL today. Order quick or the guy gets impatient. Meals are plonked quite unceremoniously before you. And everybody shouts! Strangely, it's all disturbingly delightful.So, go to the Coliseum. Let your hair down and eat with the table manners of a pig. No one will care. Everybody's here for the food.
Friday, June 4, 2004
Revenge
Last weekend, Mae suggested that we catch Shrek 2 at the cinemas. Imagine that. A movie outing initiated by Mae! *gasp* That's almost as rare as getting struck by lightning twice. Anyway, not one to look a gift horse (or should I say Donkey) in the mouth, I'm up and about very quickly - as quickly as I can move on a Sunday afternoon.
But alas, we had not anticipated the disappointment that awaited us.
We got to the cinema but we didn't stand a chance. Every movie was sold out for the rest of the day! No tickets whatsoever. I was shattered. Like a broken man, I walked aimlessly hoping for a miracle. But deep in my heart I knew; these were not the miracles that God intended for man. And so Mae and I humbly retreated back to the comfort of our small DVD collection.
It's the school holidays. And the schoolkids are everywhere. Like a swarm of locusts.
You see them looming over the horizon and the next thing you know, they've eaten everything. The parking spaces. The movie tickets. The Sinful Super Double Choc ice-cream. Everything!
Today is Friday. We're trying again tonight. But it looks bleak. The schoolkids are gonna be there. And they've got a headstart over us. While I sit here writing this entry, the schoolkids are already at the mall waiting to pounce on all the available movie tickets. *sigh* And we can't even get through the phone or internet booking channels.
This is why we have kids.
Someday Baby's gonna take revenge for us. Someday these schoolkids are gonna grow up and turn into the working stiffs that we are now. And our kids will be the locusts.
Ahh. Revenge is sweet.
But alas, we had not anticipated the disappointment that awaited us.
We got to the cinema but we didn't stand a chance. Every movie was sold out for the rest of the day! No tickets whatsoever. I was shattered. Like a broken man, I walked aimlessly hoping for a miracle. But deep in my heart I knew; these were not the miracles that God intended for man. And so Mae and I humbly retreated back to the comfort of our small DVD collection.
It's the school holidays. And the schoolkids are everywhere. Like a swarm of locusts.
You see them looming over the horizon and the next thing you know, they've eaten everything. The parking spaces. The movie tickets. The Sinful Super Double Choc ice-cream. Everything!
Today is Friday. We're trying again tonight. But it looks bleak. The schoolkids are gonna be there. And they've got a headstart over us. While I sit here writing this entry, the schoolkids are already at the mall waiting to pounce on all the available movie tickets. *sigh* And we can't even get through the phone or internet booking channels.
This is why we have kids.
Someday Baby's gonna take revenge for us. Someday these schoolkids are gonna grow up and turn into the working stiffs that we are now. And our kids will be the locusts.
Ahh. Revenge is sweet.
Thursday, June 3, 2004
For Those Who Seek
My wonderful, beautiful and intelligent wife has finally found her way here. But then, it's no big surprise. Not for one so resourceful as her. And beautiful. Did I mention wonderful? Hehheheh!
Actually, it was never a big secret. When I first started blogging, I told Mae my intentions - to keep an online journal. To write down the things that happen in our lives. For posterity. For friends and even family to keep up with our antics. And more importantly for Baby to discover when he grows up one day.
Who knows, someday Baby might grow up to be an angry young man who feels that the world is all against him or that nobody loves him. And then he finds this blog and discovers that once upon a time, even before he came upon the world, his parents' lives revolved around him. And he learns that his parents have loved him even before they met him. And perhaps then, he would realise that his parents would always love. Unconditionally. Until the end of their lives.
That would be a nice thing to stumble upon.
I gave Mae the URL to this blog when I first started blogging. But Mae, being Mae can never remember any IT-related thing. But now that she's found it, I'm glad she finally made it.
Take a bow, honey. :)
Actually, it was never a big secret. When I first started blogging, I told Mae my intentions - to keep an online journal. To write down the things that happen in our lives. For posterity. For friends and even family to keep up with our antics. And more importantly for Baby to discover when he grows up one day.
Who knows, someday Baby might grow up to be an angry young man who feels that the world is all against him or that nobody loves him. And then he finds this blog and discovers that once upon a time, even before he came upon the world, his parents' lives revolved around him. And he learns that his parents have loved him even before they met him. And perhaps then, he would realise that his parents would always love. Unconditionally. Until the end of their lives.
That would be a nice thing to stumble upon.
I gave Mae the URL to this blog when I first started blogging. But Mae, being Mae can never remember any IT-related thing. But now that she's found it, I'm glad she finally made it.
Take a bow, honey. :)
Tuesday, June 1, 2004
A Kick In The Face
I like to press my face up against Mae's belly and talk to Baby.
"Hey Baby, kick daddy eyes!" Okay. I dunno why but I like to speak to Baby in broken English. Hahahah! On one hand, I rationalise that he doesn't really understand so it doesn't really matter what I say. But on the other hand, the little guy seems to know exactly what I'm saying sometimes.
"Hey Baby, kick daddy eyes!" I wait. And suddenly *bish* he kicks me. Right in the eyes. Mae and I laugh like silly twits. And Baby kicks again, as though to reaffirm that he understands.
I press my face in some more and blow raspberries in Mae's tummy. Baby hates that. He kicks me in the mouth! My boy's got attitude, you have to give him that.
I just hope he doesn't grow up thinking it's okay to kick daddy in the face. :)
"Hey Baby, kick daddy eyes!" Okay. I dunno why but I like to speak to Baby in broken English. Hahahah! On one hand, I rationalise that he doesn't really understand so it doesn't really matter what I say. But on the other hand, the little guy seems to know exactly what I'm saying sometimes.
"Hey Baby, kick daddy eyes!" I wait. And suddenly *bish* he kicks me. Right in the eyes. Mae and I laugh like silly twits. And Baby kicks again, as though to reaffirm that he understands.
I press my face in some more and blow raspberries in Mae's tummy. Baby hates that. He kicks me in the mouth! My boy's got attitude, you have to give him that.
I just hope he doesn't grow up thinking it's okay to kick daddy in the face. :)
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